About DP

[proudbi]

Aibu to get annoyed when people automatically assume dp means a man. It gets on my nerves especially when me and dp have picked the kids up from school and the other parents assumed it was the kids aunt.

Well i guess the other mum's wouldn't have any way of knowing you are the partner unless you told them.

I know a number of same sex couples but when i see DP on here i would assume male unless female was specified, probably because, statistically, more posters on here will have male partners than will have female.

I can imagine it is annoying but i am not sure what you can do about it. Eventually people will get to know you and know you are the partner/other parent not a relative.

Yabu, I think. It's fairly normal to assume a woman is with a man unless told otherwise. And I don't say that to offend you, I just think that's the way it is.

As said above, statistically it is more likely that a woman will have a male DP and also that a woman accompanying the known 'mum' will be a relative or close friend. You could say 'My wife', I guess, and leave no room for doubt (I know people who aren't married and do this). Also, again as said above, it will become clear over time. Just explain calmly or correct calmly when this happens.

I guess the assumption is only because a same sex relationship is very much the minority. And when people assume, it's usually based on similar thought process.

The mums at the school gates know that me and dp are in a same sex relationship as have known most of them since our dd15 was at the the school.

Statistically it's more likely to be the child's Aunt or a friend etc than your female partner. Doesn't mean they are homophobic or anything.

Well they're quite clearly thick then...

If you describe someone as a partner I usually assume same sex. Because the only people I've ever heard use the word partner are lesbians. I don't know any hetero couples who refer to each other as their partner. I'm not saying it doesn't happen - I've just never come across it IRL, only on MN.

So if the mum's know you are in a same sex relationship why do you think they assume you are an aunt?

The mums at the school gates know that me and dp are in a same sex relationship as have known most of them since our dd15 was at the the school.

Well they obviously just forget then, probably because they've got 101 million other things on their minds.

I can't see them doing it on purpose.

YABU, unfortunately if you're a woman it's just an assumption people will make, rightly or wrongly. Apparently only about 6% of the population* are gay or bi, with that figure dropping if we just look at women, so people will assume.

*Civil Partnerships Act findings

Yabu in assuming people automatically assume....

YABU.

Do other parents actually have a conversation with you where they are actually enquiring about your family tree?! What sort of conversation do you have for them to use the misguided word 'aunt'?

And this happens all the time? Surely after the first time of correcting them it's resolved?

I use to go on the school run (teen children now) many times with different friends, not once did anyone assume they were my children's aunt, it was just never a conversation that was had.

Strange.

My dp is a woman and when I refer to her as my partner very often people assume she is a man. It doesn't bother me, it's a reasonable assumption to make since the majority of people are straight.