To not want to spend this money on an extension?

[cheeseandfickle]

My DH has form for starting to do work on the house, then leaving it and pulling something else apart, and we've had a couple of instances in the past few years where it's been like we've been living in a building site. He is always looking for new projects to do, and has been talking to a while about wanting to do a downstairs extension; playroom/family room, kitchen extension and a downstairs shower room.

We found out yesterday that I have inherited a sum of money from a relative that has died, and DH's first reaction was "Oh great, we an do the extension now. We share money so of course it is "our" money but I don't want to do an extension a) DH would want to do it on a shoestring and would earmark lots of things to do himself, therefore we would spend months living in dust, and muck whilst it was all done, and b) I am really not bothered about having an extension. We have enough space as it is. I would rather put the money in the bank for now as I don't think that there is any rush to make a decision as to what we spend it on.

AIBU? DH has said that if I'm not in agreement then of course he wouldn't want to do the extension but I think he feels that I am being a bit unreasonable.

In your situation we would bank it until we were in agreement. It doesn't mean he won't get his extension but it does mean you won't get one unless you want one. I would also get the builders to sort out the whole job so it is done as quickly as possible.

What a lovely dilemma! How to spend a big chunk of money you weren't expecting.

How about paying off a chunk of your mortgage?

Would an extension make your living in the house any easier/more enjoyable? Would it add to the value of the property? If so, id do it, but insist on a building team, schedule of works and for DH to keep his hands off the day to day.

What would you spend it on if DH wasnt in the mix?

What about paying it off the capital of your home?

TO be honest what you have described is exactly how I would spend the money if it were me. But it's not me and you don't want it.

So no, if you don't want to do it then don't.

Tell him you'll consider it only after the current projects on the house have been completed.

Put the money in the bank for now while you think about it. If you decide that you would like an extension then make it a condition that it has to be done by professionals.

Also agree with Joysmum that it will only get done when the rest of the projects are completed.

We inherited and paid off a chunk of our mortgage, put some in isas, as a pension fund starter and kept some in a high interest account. Our house had planning permission that lapsed about 10 months after we bought the house but with little people, dd was born just 4 months after we moved and another on the way I didn't want to extend right now. I couldn't stand the noise/mess etc. We will think about it in the future but can manage just now.
Our extension will improve our house but eat into our garden considerably. We are still trying to weigh it up.

I would also put the money in an account for a while so that you can consider all possibilities and then, if you decide an extension is worthwhile, get it built by someone else and get DH to do the decoration only.

We had an extension to our house (including an en-suite and a family bathroom, with two extra bedrooms) and it took 6 weeks. We then had to decorate. We did have a tiler in to do the bathrooms and that was certainly worth the money as he was so quick and did a fantastic job.

Essentially your DH wants to spend your inheritance on an ongoing hobby for himself of dubious worth to you completed and no use to you while it is going on, including sacrificing family time and living in a building site. When you put it like that...

"My DH has form for starting to do work on the house, then leaving it and pulling something else apart"
OP, what has happened with his unfinished projects? Have they eventually been finished by him/someone else, or are they still unfinished? And if they are still unfinished, would you like them to be finished?