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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To move my son into special school?

65 replies

Tealady1983 · 04/05/2014 05:36

Hi y son is nearly 6 with asd. He attend mainstream school and has a statement so has a recently appointed one to one helper. It has come to my attention that he is left alone at break and play time to wander around or sit alone as the other kids say he doesn't 'get'the games they play and nobody talks to him. Also I was under the impression his helper helped him with lunch, unpacking and opening etc but on Friday the teacher said if another child doesn't open his drink he just doesn't drink cos he is unable to do it himself. Also he doesn't eat really at school I thought as it was too noisy in lunch hall bit maybe now cos he struggles alone unable to really express a need for help. Now I have been to see the special school locally and it's fNtastic I really think once he settles he will love it but I can't help feeling a bit guilty that his ta is going to loose her job. I know I will put my son first and do the right thing for him but someone tell me I am not being mean!

OP posts:
YouTheCat · 04/05/2014 09:18

Move him, sooner rather than later.

How many hours is the TA supposed to support? If you are full time at our school that means you only get 30 minutes paid lunch break and so I'd expect the TA to be using the rest of lunchtime to support your ds.

Original poster
Tealady1983 · 04/05/2014 09:19

I am going to set the wheels in motion so to speak on Tuesday. Iam tempted not to send him in to school tbh but am worried about how long it will take to process

OP posts:
Original poster
Tealady1983 · 04/05/2014 09:21

He has 21 hours in his statement school have given 6 hours to the class ta to increase her hours then 15 to another lady. He has every morning covered and 2 afternoons but no lunchtimes or breaks

OP posts:
MrsWinnibago · 04/05/2014 09:42

OP it sounds like your mind is already made up and I don't blame you! The current school sounds terrible and not helping him enough at all! He will get all the support he needs in the SS and you can relax about his care and education.x

autumnsmum · 04/05/2014 09:47

Oh and as you mention transport is often available for special school dd2 gets picked up by minibus

Windmillsinthesand · 04/05/2014 09:49

Sounds like he needs a 30 hour statement ,my ds has a 20hour statement but he is older than your son, you can ask them to look at his needs again,but I think a special school might be better if it meets his needs . Good luck.

MrsMot · 04/05/2014 10:03

I'm a 1-1 SEN TA - the child I work with has a full statement which also covers all break times and lunch and it comes out at 32.5 hours a week.

My contract is tied specifically to working with the one child, when they leave my job will go. If the TA is any good she'd have no problem getting a new post - that should not be in any way your concern.

utahforever · 04/05/2014 10:28

Hi,

Am I reading it right that he has 21 hours throughout the week, but not all 1-1? If so, is that what it says on his statement. Are the school following the recomendations of his statement? You can chage/disagree with what is on there - the school do not have final say.

School have the option of providing cover for his lunch breaks out of the 21 hours, however he may then not be supported 1-1 in the afternoon. You/school can also ask for the hours to be increased to cover this period of the day, it can be done successfully so don't give up.

However, the school doesn't appear to be that flexible, so if you think the other school will suit his needs better - then go for it. Your son will only get one chance at a happy education. Good luck.

x2boys · 04/05/2014 10:29

My son is also ASD we are currently going through the statement process as he start reception in September at the moment he needs constant 1:1 we are hoping he gets into the special school ( in my Lea you have to apply for mainstream as normal and we will find out hopefully by the summer holidays whether he has a place at the special school) your son has to be your main concern and if he would be supported better in a special school than that's the best place for him.

Edendance · 04/05/2014 10:33

The special school sounds a lot more suitable. There seems too much obsession with inclusion into mainstream in this country ATM IMO.

SvenandSven · 04/05/2014 11:19

We are currently going through the process of getting our son from mainstream to special school. He is 9 and in year4.
His statement is for 30 hours including break and lunchtime he has asd and epilepsy. His school have been great and given lots of support over the years. I had the statement in place when he started in reception.
We all now feel he is struggling. I have a good relationship with his current school and have always felt able to talk to the head with any concerns so I have the full support of his current school for this move.
We are now waiting for it all to go to panel and hopefully we can secure a place for september. The head at the special school has said there is space as long as he fits the admission criteria which of course is down to the panel.

WireCat · 04/05/2014 11:21

OP, yadnbu.
I am moving my 5 year old. He is ASD & GDD & his mainstream can't really meet his needs.

Your son has to come 1st.

Good luck x

autumnsmum · 04/05/2014 11:34

Edendance. I completely agree with you
Mainstream was suggested for my dd2 and it would have been a disaster

Edendance · 04/05/2014 12:12

I've worked significantly with children of all ages with various forms of SEN and am massively disturbed by the obsession with inclusion that seems to be going on.

I'm job hunting at the moment but have had to turn away from a couple of jobs which have involved openly endorsing and encouraging inclusion when I don't think that should ever be the priority. The priority should always be the individual child and the schools they have available to them to find the best solution for all the children's education.

autumnsmum · 04/05/2014 12:18

Eden if there was a like button on here I would press it for that statement

GreenPetal94 · 04/05/2014 12:25

depending on what learning level he is at, I would say move him. Mainstream is a good option for children who are doing academically ok but have other additional needs.

My son has traits of Aspergers but has been ok in mainstream, though he is behind. My elder son had a child with SEN in his class where mainstream did not work out and the child ultimately was violent to a number of member of staff when he was older. I think he had a bad school experience over six years, even though our school has an excellent record for SEN.

Joylin · 04/05/2014 12:30

So the teacher is aware that he can't open his own drink and allows him to go without if another child doesn't do it for him, why on earth would she not take a second to help him? Take him out, if you have the opportunity to place him in a school that is suitable to his needs, do it.

The only important thing is your sons well being and happiness, the ta can take care of herself!!!!!

AmberLeaf · 04/05/2014 12:40

The TAs job shouldn't be your concern.

You need to focus on what is best for your son.

I agree with the other posters who said moving him won't be easy, not just a case of changing schools. It doesn't work like that.

Read up on the Ipsea website and arm yourself with knowledge.

StarGazeyPond · 04/05/2014 12:50

The TA that was appointed for my son did everything........photocopying, looking after other children, playground duty.........everything BUT do her job.

I moved my son to a special school (he still couldn't read/write at 8)......within 3 weeks he was reading/writing and back to his normal self.

I didn't give a toss that she lost her job.....because she wasn't actually doing her job !!

AElfgifu · 04/05/2014 13:15

I would just say be aware that there is often less support available in special schools than in main stream. I have worked in both, and have only ever come across one-to-one support being offered in mainstream, never in special schools.

Edendance · 04/05/2014 13:18

But AE, that's because the special schools are designed to be geared towards offering the extra support without 1:1 being necessary. The teachers and LSAs will have the experience and facilities to be more supportive to the students rather than purely educational.

autumnsmum · 04/05/2014 13:21

Again Eden I agree dd2 doesn't need one to one because she is in a class ofeigjt

cricketballs · 04/05/2014 14:52

others have said Eden - there us no need for 1-to-1 in a special school. My Ds has classes with no more than 8 students, 1 teacher who is sspecifically trained for SEN, (whereas as a mainstream teacher I have only had limited training), at least 1 TA; it's a different environment altogether

louisville · 04/05/2014 16:01

DS has ASD and goes to a specialist ASD school now. Mainstream was a disaster for him, though he had full time 1:1. He has a max of six in each class and no longer needs 1:1. All the teachers have specialist training and he also has access to SALT and OT there which was always much more limited in mainstream.

It took a year for us to get his place, as it wasn't a local authority special school so cost a lot more. If you can get an offer of a place then I'd grab it with both hands - but if it's not immediately agreed, don't give up. Ipsea offer good advice.

I never even thought about what would happen with DS's old TA to be honest. He was an OK TA, but just not experienced enough for DS as he's quite complex. I'm sure that he was able to find another job though - but nevertheless it was none of my concern. My focus was entirely on DS and getting his needs met.

Aeroflotgirl · 04/05/2014 16:11

Move him without a doubt. My dd 7 has ASD and went to mainstream in foundation. She was statement end and had fantastic support there, she was also helped with lunch, but due to the nature of her disability, the environment was not right for her and she moved to a specialist Autistic school on recommendation of her MS Ht. Well she is excelling more than we ever thought, she is calmer happier, doing so well academically and socially. Your school dies not sound good, he should be supported at lunchtimes to, it's unacceptable he doesent eat if no child is there to help him. It should not be up,to xhikdren to help him. Move him!