Worra you are right! identifying the actual causes (rather than calling yourself greedy or lazy) is only the first step, if things are to change then you have to work through whatever the problem is. Very often this also requires work on self esteem too though, we could say to someone who is lonely 'go find some friends then!' and for some people that's easy enough, but not necessarily.
The other thing that usually needs to change-I'm looking at you Domestic, is our idea of what we 'should' weigh. As a society, we often judge people (and ourselves) by their size and the benchmark is what we see in the media, ie skinny teenage girls, or the 0.01% of the population that are supermodels, and mostly even they don't actually look quite like they do in the pictures 
. A scary number of them, believe it or not, will be going through the same cycle every day as lots of us, feeling fat, hating their thighs, starving themselves. It's pretty unrealistic for most of us to weigh the same at 35-40 as we did at 18 but still we aspire to it. We all need to work on stopping the judgement, on accepting and respecting our bodies as they are - even if they are genuinely overweight - and looking after them well (again, self esteem). Domestic 5'4" and 10st 2 is not fat (not even by the measurement of the flawed BMI), nor is it unhealthy. What is unhealthy, physically and psychologically, is hating your body, labelling yourself lazy and greedy and repeatedly depriving and punishing your body into the submission (or not) of being a weight it's not meant to be.
If we can respect and love our bodies, listen to them properly so that we eat when we are hungry, stop when we've have enough, mostly choose food that is good for us, we will reach a healthy weight for us and the focus on food will be vastly reduced, it will become what it is meant to be, an important and enjoyable part of our lives, not something to obsess about, fear and feel guilty for eating. It can be a bit of a jigsaw puzzle to get there though .