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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To send my 19 yo niece to Heathrow by coach?

58 replies

WildflowerMarmalade · 03/05/2014 19:58

My 19 yo niece is coming to visit the UK from abroad. She has had a very sheltered upbringing as she lives in South Africa where it is too dangerous for her to travel far on her own.

She will be staying with me in London before travelling to stay with my parents up North. She will then need to travel back to Heathrow alone to get a flight. I have suggested she travel by coach. DH says it is not safe and you get dodgy people on coaches. AIBU? Is it safe on the coach or not?

My reasons for her travelling by coach not train are that it will be easier for her to change coaches at Victoria ( Mchr - Lndn Victoria then Lndn Victoria - Heathrow). When I take her to get on the coach to Manchester we can look together where to go for the Heathrow coach. This seems less stressful for her than getting a train and then having to get the Tube across London to get the Heathrow Express. Also it is cheaper - and she is planning to pay for it herself.

OP posts:
OiMissus · 03/05/2014 20:29

(Trains from Manchester go to Euston, not Victoria. - I'm pretty sure. - does that change anything?)
But at 19, with clear instructions, she'll be fine.)

whatever5 · 03/05/2014 20:30

I think that the coach will be less stressful for her than a train. Is your DH from South Africa? If so it would explain why he see the world as a more dangerous place than you?

cashmiriana · 03/05/2014 20:33

I travelled by air and train, alone, to Germany, several times when I was aged 18-20, pre-mobile days: I set off with my rucksack and a list of trains, and coped ok I was not a particularly confident teen, and it was fine. A coach, with fewer stops, and a single change, would have been heaven! I have already told DD1 that when it comes to University open days, she will be going by herself, taking public transport. I don't think I'm particularly harsh - in fact I'm quite nervy when it comes to my DC!

JodieGarberJacob · 03/05/2014 20:38

As someone else said, she can get the national express coach straight from Manchester to Heathrow without having to change at Victoria.

specialsubject · 03/05/2014 20:46

nothing is totally safe and we are all going to die.

but taking the coach in the UK is what I class as acceptable risk.

Objection · 03/05/2014 20:49

I back backed around South Africa on my own for 6 weeks at 17.
YANBU.

WooWooOwl · 03/05/2014 20:49

It's fine, and a good opportunity to increase her independence.

Objection · 03/05/2014 20:50

Ahhh yes, the dodgy coach people.
They live under the seats and sniff your legs when you least expect it.

Mouldypineapple · 03/05/2014 20:50

My dd(22) frequently gets a coach between London and Cardiff and has never mentioned any weirdo's. I feel a bit disappointed now! Have to ask her.

AiryFairyHairyAndScary · 03/05/2014 20:51

Coach is fine and she will be fine.

We moved to the uk from South Africa when my eldest was 15 and even though she was mature and confident it did take a little time to get accustomed to travelling about on her own in the UK. Simple things like getting train tickets but forgetting to ask for plus bus or whatever. My kids had never travelled on a bus or train in South Africa
International flights were never an issue though. Confused

I hope you all have a lovely trip together.

Gruntfuttock · 03/05/2014 20:53

I travelled between London and Hastings by coach on my own a few times between the ages of 11 and 13! It was fine and I was totally relaxed about it. A 19 yr old should be able to cope surely.

LynetteScavo · 03/05/2014 20:55

I went on the coach and it was much nicer than expected.

Surely there is a coach direct from Manchester to heathrow?

LynetteScavo · 03/05/2014 20:56

And it doesn't matter what anyone else did at a younger age.... They are not this particular girl.

AiryFairyHairyAndScary · 03/05/2014 20:57

Your niece could also catch a weirdo free train to Reading and then catch the RailAir Heathrow bus

You catch the bus straight from the station. It's not a big station and the Heathrow bus is easy to find and regular.

Original poster
WildflowerMarmalade · 03/05/2014 21:11

whatever My DH grew up in Liverpool, maybe he saw bad things there?! I would have thought growing up as a city kid would make you more hardheaded about danger. Not in his case.

Lynette and Airy thank you - it is about what DN is used to and her experience so far. At 19 I was fine travelling around on my own. Although admittedly I did sometimes struggle with random blokes chatting me up and me not knowing what to do.

DN is getting some real independence for the very first time. These trips will be her very first travelling alone. I want it to be manageable for her.

Can I just say that DN is quite a tough little cookie in her own way. It is definitely all of us who are getting our knickers in a twist!

OP posts:
RedToothBrush · 03/05/2014 21:20

DH says it is not safe and you get dodgy people on coaches. AIBU? Is it safe on the coach or not?

If your DH really believes this, he's frankly.... thick.

Honestly, coach to Heathrow at age 19. He does realise that some 19 year olds leave home and manage to live on their own, very often in some really shitty parts of the country. Some EVEN leave the house on their own.

Has he considered the possibility that there might be 'dodgy people' on planes too?

Or lurking in the local shop? Don't whatever you do let her go to the local shops for local people on her own.

Gruntfuttock · 03/05/2014 21:33

Exactly RedToothBrush, I left home in Sussex and lived alone in London from the age of 16.

Thetallesttower · 03/05/2014 21:38

Coaches are much much nicer than they used to be and the one from here to London has free wifi. I think coach directly to Heathrow or with one change at Victoria is very straightforward. I have found trains a little dodgier.

NigellasDealer · 03/05/2014 21:39

trains are definitely dodgier than coaches

Gubbins · 03/05/2014 21:42

I did regular solo train/coach/plane and occasional train/tube/plane trips to and from school age 15 onwards. Never felt unsafe. And when I was young and attractive I had far more unwanted attention on trains than ever on a coach.

More recently and relevantly, my brother didn't have any qualms about sending his 18 year old daughter on the coach down from the North East to London earlier this year.

nennypops · 03/05/2014 22:16

Why on earth does DH think the tube and trains are immune from dodgy people?

doziedoozie · 03/05/2014 22:46

I got the Gatwick to Hrow coach connection recently and actually wrote to tell them how helpful the driver had been, helping with luggage, directing visiting tourists, helping people onto the bus, luxury coach.

At Hrow I noticed coaches from oop no'th (think it was Bradford but there were others) so perhaps your student can get a direct coach.

doziedoozie · 03/05/2014 22:50

National Express coaches
coach.nationalexpress.com/nxbooking/journey-list

SavoyCabbage · 03/05/2014 22:53

I got the coach to newcastle recently and sat on the back seat between a transvestite Mackem and a member of the Queens Guard. He had a baby and I got to hold him while he went to the toilet. We had a blast.

PumpkinPositiveHmm · 03/05/2014 23:03

Good grief - your DH needs to get out more Grin

Definitely perfectly safe - and as has been mentioned, no need to go into London on the way to the airport unless she wants to.

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