To have another baby, despite getting pnd with my first...

[KeepOnKeepingOnAndOnAndOnAndOn]

I am having a bit of a mummy- meltdown, guilt trip this am. I am pregnant with dc2 and incredibly happy. Dd is one. I did develop on after dd1 and went on ads plus get counselling which he improved my life dramatically. Now I am pregnant again I am carefully weaning self off my low dose of ads. I have been told I am no longer classed as depressed and I am continuing counselling to work through issues i still have from a bit of a mental teenage life! All in all though I am very happy, pro active and I can says myself I am a good mother. Despite having pnd I always was very attentive to dd and loved her from the start - some say I am maybe a little too ott with her and maybe spoil her a bit, but shes a baby and I don't think you can spoil a baby.

Anyway, I sometimes feel like a failure that I ended up in ads and that I got pregnant again so soon (planned ) - but I do stress I was no longer depressed and my life is the best it has been. Its a perfect time to have another for me personally (fr various reasons)

Sometimes i think once the next dc is here though I wont cope again and I'll need ads to manage well and this makes me feel awful :(

Obviously I am going to wean self off of ads, but as I haven't been on them that long i Am acutely aware I may need to go back on them again as depression may my have completely lifted (chemically/ hormonally) iyswim...

However, all i can do I wait and see. I feel so much happier in ads and just hope I will remain feeling this happy when off of them. I am doig all the right things to ensure this will happen. AIBU to have another baby? So many do - I just always seem to berate myself for these things. Being so hard in myself for so long contributed to the pnd i belive.

Sorry for spelling and grammatical errors ... Lack of sleep and using phone to type not helping!

I had a further two after postpartum depression. The GP was marvellous and kept a v close eye on me. I didn't develop depression again so ENJOY your pregnancy as it's not a given you may get depressed again!

It might not happen again and you and your GP know what the signs are so you're in a far better position to deal with PND if it does recur. Try and enjoy your pregnancy and try not to worry.

Thanks guys :) maybe its my hormones? They say they play up in first trimester ...

I had crippiling PND with dd1 so much i think it is why i have a bigger gap when dd2 was born it never came back my health visitor and gp were great. I was looking for signs with dd2 but it was fine, congrats on your pregnancy

I was very ill with PND after the birth of DD1. So much so that I swore never to have another.

Now unexpectedly 35 weeks pregnant with DD2. Not currently on anti-d's -- made the choice to wean off in the first trimester. I have been very open about my fears with my midwife, consultant, GP and now health visitor. I will have a little extra support from the postnatal mental health team if I so choose it, and everyone is prepared for the possibility of me being unwell again. Partner has also promised to be hyper vigilant. Because of all this, I actually feel a lot less anxious. Part of what made PND so devastating last time was that it took me by complete surprise and I went for some months in serious denial before getting treatment.

Forewarned is forearmed. Statistically as a previous sufferer you are more likely to get it again, but that isn't a guarantee. Just be very open with everyone about your fears and they will make sure of early intervention if it's needed. Good luck and congratulations!

I was admitted to psych hospital after ds2, but was fine when he was a year old. So I have not regrets and we did try for some years for number 3, but isn't going to happen sadly. I was fine after ds1 so I think each post baby experience is different.

Just go for it and keep an eye on yourself.

1. No guarantee it'll happen again
2. Good chance of you recognising it and accepting treatment if it does
3. Treatment has worked for you in the recent past

I really don't think you should be feeling guilty. Enjoy your long fought for happiness!

I had 2 more dc after developing PND. I was on meds for 2 half years.

I didn't get any extra support or help after having PND but i didn't get ill again.

Very best of luck. Look after yourself.

Thanks everyone, you all hve genuinely made me feel better about things :)

I love mumsnet!

Just wanted to say that I have no experience of pnd (I had PTSD) I think whatever happens you'll be ok. Congratulations and all the best.

Thanks Mary :) I hope you are ok now too. PTSD is awful, my aunty suffered this after The birth of her dc.

I had severe PND after my first and although I came off the meds during my 2nd pregnancy I asked to go straight back on them after dc was born. I never, ever wanted to feel the way I felt before, even for a second. The doctors were fab and prescribed them as soon as ds was born - they don't mess around with this kind of thing.

I have no idea whether I would have got pnd again but going straight back on the meds allowed me to thoroughly enjoy ds's babyhood without having to worry about it. And for info I was even able to bf which I was worried would be precluded.

Just to echo what others have said;

I had PND with DS1 and was very apprehensive when pregnant with DD but midwives were incredibly supportive and as one said to me, you are in a much more powerful position now as you've been there before, you know the signs and will be able to get help earlier if need be.
To be honest I think this single piece of advice helped me to avoid the downward spiral I found myself in with DS, as I felt in control - even though I know you can't control PND - I felt as though I could control my response to any symptoms.
I didn't have PND with DD and had a completely different experience in the months after her birth - I hope the same happens for you.

YANBU, think it is set in us to want more babies, I didn't have PND but I did have terrible baby blues when DD was a week old and I didn't particularly enjoy the newborn stages, however I'm craving another baby and were gonna start trying again if my bloody period Ever returns from Breastfeeding