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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think a prep school application requesting a family photo is a bit OTT?!

27 replies

LadyRabbit · 02/05/2014 18:53

Or do lots of schools do this, state or independent?
I'm half tempted to send one of us all in shell suits and with cans of lager lying about.
It's actually put me off what I thought was a really great school and a brilliant alternative if we can't get into the fab - but hopelessly oversubscribed - state primary.

OP posts:
cheeseandfickle · 02/05/2014 18:59

Perhaps they just want to check that you are all wearing enough Boden clothing?! Wink

Wabbitty · 02/05/2014 19:01

It will probably be for the future teacher to be learning names and faces so that they will be able to greet both you and your child by name.

Nagasaki · 02/05/2014 19:02

They did this in my DS's preschool. It was to put on the My Family wall to see all the different types of families that the children have. Innocent and lovely. It's not a secret agenda to 'assess' you!

AuntieStella · 02/05/2014 19:03

It probably is though - OP says applications not joiners.

lurkerspeaks · 02/05/2014 19:05

Often so they can place parents/ careers etc. at a later date.

Friends kids nursery made all the kids a little album of their important people. It is handy as when I occasionally go and do pick up the staff have a vague idea of who I am!

Nagasaki · 02/05/2014 19:05

Well, OP is well within her rights to ask them why they require it. If the answer is not to her liking, she can make a qualified decision about the setting.

Unexpected · 02/05/2014 19:15

Given that many people apply to several schools, there is absolutely no need to have a photo of any kind at that stage. Teachers surely only need to know the names and faces of the actual children and parents who start at the school??

GreenPetal94 · 02/05/2014 19:15

I would also be tempted to send one of you at McDonalds or standing in front of a very old and rusty car (you can borrow mine if you need to). I can't see why they ask for it at application if they are not going to make any judgement at all.
I guess it could be so they can match kids to parents, but if so that is a bit false in my mind. You'd never know if they only knew whose parent you were from the photo.

Ericaequites · 02/05/2014 19:16

I find it off putting enough when schools ask for a picture of the student applicant. Looks should have nothing to do with obtaining a school place.

LadyRabbit · 02/05/2014 19:24

It's actually given me the rage if I'm honest and I'm just finding the whole thing a bit arsey and pretentious. I went to an old-fashioned prep that was excellent and un-pretentious (and I don't believe they cost the earth way back when) - all the schools these days seem to take the line with parents that they're doing us some bloody great favour and we're honoured to get a place there - while omitting to mention that they are charging £££££s for the joy of being patronised.

More ideas for a family photo that will put them off and make a point please! (Knowing our luck, they'll think we tick the 'one eccentric family we allow in on grounds of social equality' box.)

OP posts:
cheeseandfickle · 02/05/2014 19:47

What about sending in a photo of one of your family weekend jaunts to the naturist beach? Grin

nennypops · 02/05/2014 19:52

State schools aren't allowed to do this, for the very good reason that it could be used as a means of discriminating against some applicants. I assume that is not the intention of this school, but they are laying themselves wide open to that accusation.

fancyanotherfez · 02/05/2014 19:54

Send one in without a dad in it. Thats the first thing I thought of when you said family photo- that they wanted to see what sort of family. Especially on application. You don't need to place parents until the child starts school.

LadyRabbit · 02/05/2014 19:59

cheeseandfickle
not even I have seen myself naked since I had a child.
still, if I want to scare them off...... Grin

OP posts:
TheOriginalSteamingNit · 02/05/2014 20:02

RUn for the hills etc. but why be surprised? They don't let people in if they don't like them ... That's what you'd be paying for!

squoosh · 02/05/2014 20:04

You can borrow my family portrait if you like. Here we are casually hanging out of a tree.

To think a prep school application requesting a family photo is a bit OTT?!
squoosh · 02/05/2014 20:04

Seriously though, I find it very weird that they would request this. Seems so intrusive.

thebodydoestricks · 02/05/2014 20:11

Well if you think it's to weed out undesirables then why are you posting op?

Clearly that's why you would be sending your child to a private school in the first place.

Where we live there are 2 massive mixed comps and a huge private school.

The private school has a huge problem with A drugs and B teenage pregnancies, far more than the comps because the kids can A afford the gear and B don't have access to the get NHS sexual advice clinic the comp kids have.

Think for the future.

JonesRipley · 02/05/2014 20:11

you have high aspirations as a family

enjoy this website

thebodydoestricks · 02/05/2014 20:12

Squoosh ah that's a lovely photo.

squoosh · 02/05/2014 20:15

Not really my family though! I hope never to see my parents straddle an oak tree.

Coldlightofday · 02/05/2014 20:24

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TiggyD · 02/05/2014 20:38

Sometimes a photo is the only way to find out who the brown people are. Angry

I'd ring ofsted and ask them if they're allowed to do it.

LadyRabbit · 02/05/2014 20:38

thebodydoestricks actually no, not everybody who considers private school is doing it on the basis of 'weeding out the undesirables'. I find that whole idea really repulsive which is precisely what I suspect this whole family photo wheeze is, and it has made me go right off this school. I stated clearly in my OP that our choice will be great primary first (but it's going to be a miracle if we get in and I refuse to pretend to have found God either) but if that doesn't happen then we are looking at independent options. My issue is class size really, and general facilities. I'm not into social engineering. OK?! Grin

OP posts:
TheOriginalSteamingNit · 02/05/2014 20:51

Yes, but if you're cool with your child's school not letting people who aren't rich enough in for those facilities, surely you should be cool with them not letting people in who don't quite look the part too? It's all about the discrimination, either way!
Or is wealth a better way to decide which kids are deserving than any other?

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