Second AIBU is the day...was I BU to pop by potential school for DS?

[Howmuch101]

Went today to try and arrange a look around the nursery as I'd been trying to ring and no one was picking up. Now obviously I didn't expect to have look around today and made that very clear as soon as I entered. Just wanted to set up an appointment.

The head was abrupt I felt. Said she thought I'd said I was going to ring the nursery teacher, didn't acknowledge DS, and asked quite abruptly if we 'lived in the area'.

I don't know if I've made a huge faux pas here as I'm no a teacher and no other DCs have been to school yet. I suspect maybe?

I came away so upset I was in tears (I am hormonal at mo though) more so because I felt foolish by trying to be friendly.

The head went into another room without a goodbye so I did try and explain to the worried looking receptionist that I had tried to ring. It all just felt so awkward. But maybe this was a silly thing for me to do and this is why?

DS could have been starting on Tue Hence my enthusiasm (his catchment school doesn't have room until Sept and I phoned this school yesterday who said they could have him in.)

This is an excellent school by all accounts and the head is very, very well respected and loved by those who know her. Was I U?

I don't think YWBU. Maybe you caught her at a busy moment. Our head is quite stressed at the moment with reception admissions (school was over subscribed so there might be appeals etc) and it's budget time too.

Not at all. What you did was completely reasonable/normal. The head's reaction doesn't sound good at all. What are you thinking of doing now?

Um, no I don't think you WBU at all, if you were calling in to make an appointment.

So did the head come out and see you? Or just happen to be in reception? Did you ask to speak to the head?

Is the nursery led by someone other than the head? Maybe she felt you weren't her 'responsibility' as it were?

She just happened to be in reception and wouldn't have dreamt of calling her out. I've been put off by this despite the excellent reputation of the school. We'll wait until September I think. Despite leaving our number they haven't called back today.

TBH I'd take it as a warning sign.

Our headteacher would not have said that, its not a great sign, but everyone has off days

TBH I'd take it as a warning sign.

^^ This.

Do you have other options?

Yes. This isn't our catchment school, but it's the next closest.

It just felt uncomfortable and mean.

Even if they had have had a roll of their eyes once I'd gone but we'd come excited and friendly and it wouldn't have taken much just to be polite and friendly in return.

He looked so excited and interested too

Sounds extremely bad practice.
I'd not be happy sending my child to a school that showed so little interest or enthusiasm.
If you'd already spoken to them and they'd said it was possible they could have him the that's poor.
Badly handled.

If the school is generally well spoken of I would try to put this behind you and not judge on one minor incident.

We all have bad days and bad moments. Perhaps you just caught the head during one of them. I'd igve it another shot and see how it goes.

I hear what you're saying. I'll see if they ring back to arrange the appointment and how I'm spoken to. If not, then I won't be ringing. It would have taken nothing to say to DS "Mummy has brought you in to have a look around but we're a little bit busy today and are really looking forward to seeing you next week." Maybe that's a bit fluffy. Just to go away feeling like it was welcoming and friendly. I think the decision is made now, which is a shame as I had felt it was the right one.

Meanwhile his catchment school that I'd been annoyed at not starting him until Sept has phoned and the head will be showing us around next week. They phoned back promptly and was treated with courtesy.

Definite warning sign. Find somewhere else if you can. You were not being unreasonable.

Thanks. You know that feeling when you feel just really foolish? That's how I felt. Like a big grinning idiot who'd done something totally weird and inappropriate by popping by. I was kind of hoping that maybe I had made a big school faux pas.