Its DH’s birthday in July and by then I will be 7 months pregnant. Hes asking that we go to this fancy restaurant which is a 2 hour drive away, that I drive him and his 4 friends back to our house after the meal so they can have a drink (fine, I don’t normally drink that much as I hate hangovers).
The problem I have is that my DH gets really drunk and his past performance is not great. Last year I drove them home from a rugby match and he and a friend was drunk they were shouting in my ear all the way that a couple of times I nearly crashed.
At easter, DH and another friend got so drunk (and I believe had some illegal substances) that firstly he came into my room trying to find his ‘jacket’ and woke me up, I then went downstairs after him (worried about what state he was in) to find him putting a tray of filo pastry into our powerful oven at 3.30am whilst completely wrecked.
I confronted him and his friend argued with me (DH was so out of it he was incoherent) that I was being unreasonable that I demanded that they both went to bed and stopped cooking the filo pastry. I angrily went upstairs and Dh tried to pull me down the stairs by my dressing down leaving me naked on the stairs (with a visible baby bump) so I turned around and slapped him (I know i shouldn't have done but it was a scared reaction but thats not the issue) Then both of them tried to apologise to me by trying to come into the room with me. I was having none of it and told them both to f**k off. DH eventually got into bed and I was so disgusted in him (and he was so wasted I couldn’t get him to go in another room) that I went and slept on the sofa in the study. I couldn’t sleep there as its so damn hard and given I had on that same day had some pregnancy sickness, felt bloody awful for a couple of days that I had to call in sick- it was like I had the flu!. I felt that I had been drinking like they had!
Next day DH apologized but his friend was taking the piss out of me for going ballistic. They have this thing that whenever I ask for something they say ‘Im pregnant’ in a crazed way.
I am concerned that history will repeat itself. I’ve had a troublesome pregnancy so far (SPD, reflux, sickness etc) and I don’t want to put myself in the situation that I feel shit again as im desperate to stay in work and stay healthy. As well, people staying over involves me doing loads of hovering, bed making, bathroom cleaning etc etc whilst my husband fannies about making them ‘canapes’ and I don’t feel I know yet if my SPD is going to get worse and I wont be able to do this. Honestly, our house is like a hotel!
I’ve said to DH that hes got some choices- either its cancelled and he has a bigger one next year or that I don’t come and that he sleeps in another room so he doesn’t wake me up. He’s chosen that he’s going to book a room up there and they are all going to stay- this is fine with me.
However hes not talking to me now (hes being childish) I am going to ignore it until he sees sense. His argument is that I have no evidence that he will behave like that, however my stance is that hes done it before.
I’ve said that I don’t even know if I will be able to drive then (SPD is already bad) and he’s rubbished this saying I will.
Am I being unreasonable? A sense of humour failure or does my husband need a kick up the arse?
(I don't know if DH was using illegal substances, it looked like it but i am quite naive about that- i know he has before)