AIBU to just want to run away and never come back?

[hopeless89]

Ok long story but will try and keep it short.

I have a 15 month old son and Im 14 weeks pregnant with a second.
I have had my dating scan this morning and what should be a happy day has ended up with me crying all day and patience wearing thin with my boy. He has tipped soup all over our carpet and generally just done all the things that toddlers do...but today I cant seem to cope with it. I have found myself shouting at him, which I feel absolutely awful about. I live one hour away from my home town (moved in order to be a family with OH), so no friends and family nearby.

I am a SAHM so have no income of my own, OH is working in London for 3 weeks and has left me no money, so I cant afford the £15 train fare to visit family and friends. I get tax credits of £100 a week but with travelling to college, food, gas and electric for the meter..this does not go far. I have asked my mum to take my son for a couple of days but I need to get him there - impossible with no money!

A bit of backstory why I am so stressed:

My partner has a painting business - he is always busy, at the moment he is working in London for three weeks. However he is in a lot of debt:
£5000 with tax man
£3000 with credit cards
£2000 with utilities
(amongst others, all in his name not mine)

I have been trying to sort his books etc but have absolutely no cooperation off him - he has ben ignoring tax man for over 2 years and does not listen to my pleas to ring them and arrange payment plan. His debts in my opinion are down to his sheer laziness.

The house we live in also makes me very down... it is 'his' house and I feel like a lodger. The oven is broken, no floor in bathroom and there is no room for another baby.
We cannot move as no company will give us another mortgage, and as our mortgage is only £350 a month, with paying all the debt we would not be able to rent as prices near us are approx. £550 a month. If we had no debts, this would be doable but not at the moment.

I am so so down, I just feel like running away and letting him come back to an empty house. I would have nothing, but at least I wouldn't owe anything.

I cry every night, while he is seemingly not bothered and makes empty promises. I am concerned that soon our house will get taken off us as owing the tax man can be very serious!

I was meant to be going to university this year but due to my pregnancy, these plans have been postponed until 2015, so I guess I feel powerless to help our financial situation.

Any advice?

It sounds like your name isn't on the mortgage, is that right? So walking away is theoretically possible. Even if you don't do it the knowledge you can should give you some comfort.

Can someone in your family pay for a train ticket for you? They can set a station near you for you to pick it up from. You might find getting away just for a little while will help get perspective on what you want to do.

He sounds pretty selfish from what you've said - his home, not leaving you any money, not doing anything about the financial problems. Are there many/any positives?

No my name is not on the mortgage. He is a fantastic dad to our son, really can't fault him on that side of things, and I am reluctant to leave as I love being a family. I just cant go on like this...its stress on me and in turn stress on my unborn child, and stress on my son, as my patience is so thin.

He was going to sell the house, use the money to pay off all debts and put the rest aside for a deposit in the future when I had finished uni and we had two incomes with clear credit ratings. He has now decided he does not want to come off the property ladder, which obviously nobody wants to do...but I was so happy that things were going to change. Then he changed his mind.

I just can't carry on like this, and I don't think he realises how much of an effect this is having on me.

My friend has said she will put some money in my bank so I can get the train back home, so I suppose that is good, I can get away for a few days.

Gosh, can't stop crying today! Thanks for replying.

Run now. He doesn't get to change his mind and decide your future for you, you're a family now and his foolishness could take you and your kids down with him.

By leaving you without money, he has effectively trapped you in the house. He is controlling your movements and is in effect abusing you financially. No matter how good a parent you say he is, you cannot continue with this relationship the way it is.

I think you need to make it clear that unless he is prepared to take specialised debt advice and commit to making changes to the way things are at present, that you cannot continue in the relationship.

He has said that a customer owes his £300 so will be dropping that off but I don't know when that will be. Hopefully soon.
Thank you all for your replies. I know what he is doing to the family is wrong.