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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Slutty drunken friend

59 replies

Hup · 30/04/2014 16:39

H left me about nine weeks ago. No affair just a general breakdown of communications and him having ( in my view) some sort of breakdown (which he has had before).

We have both been good friends with a couple, the husband is lovely but she is known as a bit of a drunk and says really inappropriate things ( she made very sexual comments to DSS a while back, which upset him and she didn't like that I told her I wasn't impressed). Anyway he chose to disclose how he felt to these friends, giving his version of events and not mine. Fair enough. Only she has gone and blabbed this to one and all - with bells on. H was warned what she was like, she has made me out to be a mad phsychotic bitch without even knowing what happened ... H had made a really awful comment to me which led to me being awful back - in her version it was me that just blew up at him for no reason.

As a result I have asked that H does not allow DS to spend time alone with this woman - no problems in a crowd, but worry that if she babysits (she does a lot for others) or is in a small grou she will get hammered and repeat story to DS .... With even more embellishments than the last time she told it.

AIBU to ask that DS is not alone with her? h thinks it shows me as paranoid ....

OP posts:
magpiegin · 30/04/2014 17:22

Think we need a bit of clarity. Why is she is slut and is dss and ds the same person and how old is he/ they?

lilola · 30/04/2014 17:27

slutty drunk? ODFO

limitedperiodonly · 30/04/2014 17:34

she is known as a bit of a drunk and says really inappropriate things

Sounds a lot like me. What's not to like?

BuzzardBird · 30/04/2014 17:50

Grin That is me too!

Whitewaters · 30/04/2014 18:17

a drunk and says really inappropriate things ( she made very sexual comments to DSS a while back, which upset him

Think this is what 'slutty drunken' is referring to. I'm not saying I agree with the word slutty, just that when I read it that's what I understood the title to be referring to.

Is it your DS or DSS you don't want to see this woman, or both? If it's DSS surely the fact she had upset him in the past with inappropriate sexual comments should be enough for you not to want her to see him. Or I have I completely missed the point!!

Pleasejustgo · 30/04/2014 18:21

I'm very very tired today but this is the most confusing tread I've ever read. Is it me?Confused

Pleasejustgo · 30/04/2014 18:21

Thread. Not tread.

Pleasejustgo · 30/04/2014 18:22

Oh and I'm terribly inappropriate when I've had some wines Grin

Wooodpecker · 30/04/2014 18:32

Putting the badly worded title aside, no YANBU to not want her near your son/step son. I am confused though. Are you saying she made sexual comments to a child? If a man were to have done that I don't think 'slut' would be the description.

Original poster
Hup · 30/04/2014 18:50

Ok slutty because she offered herself to teach my stepson "lessons" after asking him if her was a virgin. To me there is no other word that describes her. Her excuse was she says silly things when drunk. I would like to think those of you on here who say daft things when drunk don't proposition kids ( he was16 at time)

Drunk because she can't just have a couple and get merry, she gets falling down drunk.

Friends with the mad a couple - have seen her once or twice since then, h sees her h more often.

DSS 17 DS 9.

H told her something, she added bells and whistles and told a very different story that made me look really really bad. Do is not happy that she embellished the truth but is not the sort of person that would act on it as her DH is his friend.

This has been confirmed. She is not drunk all the time and when sober is a lovely woman, hence her babysitting. My concern is her twisting of the truth again, when DS is there ... Hence me asking H not to leave DS with her.

Hope that clears things up. In hospital at the moment following an operation so may not be clear!

OP posts:
Original poster
Hup · 30/04/2014 18:51

Them as a (typo sorry)

OP posts:
KeepOnKeepingOnAndOnAndOnAndOn · 30/04/2014 18:58

Oh my gawd! She sounds bonkers! YAnBU.

BuzzardBird · 30/04/2014 18:59

Ok, Hup, you are right in having an opinion on who looks after your DS but it is unlikely surely that she would be if it is your h's time with your DS?
I think that your H should be more concerned about how you come out in this situation than the chance that he might upset his friend tbh. His friend is married to her so must know what she is like?
She is indeed out of order for making lewd suggestions at a child and there would be no excuse for that. She would not be around my children for that reason alone.
I know you are not with H anymore but he really could do with growing some or not telling huge lies, whichever it is.
I hope you recover from your operation ok, sounds like you have enough on your plate. Thanks

Pleasejustgo · 30/04/2014 19:13

YNBU

She sounds like an absolute nightmare.

If DSS was upset about what this women said to him, then surely his father would accept that you have valid enough reasons for her not the be alone with DSS and respect your request as a parent. As for what she is saying about you, ignore, ignore, ignore. She's bat shit when pissed and I'm sure you're not the only one to see it. Maybe she's embarrassed, who knows.

Hope you recover quickly OP.

Barefootgirl · 30/04/2014 19:16

Am i the only person who clicked on this thread title to see if it was posted by one of my friends?

Pleasejustgo · 30/04/2014 19:19

Oh and OP a slut is someone like me, messy and crap at housework. That's what I was always told growing up anyway.

I think the word you're looking for here is lush Grin

Now where did I put my wines?!

raffle · 30/04/2014 19:21

I love my Slutty Drunken Friend, she is an absolute riot Grin
However your one sounds a bit rubbish.
You can share mine if you like?

Infinity8 · 30/04/2014 19:24

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SpiderNugent · 30/04/2014 19:27

I've been seeing an increase in words like bitch, slut and slag recently. I don't like it, most unbecoming and not very MN

pmsl! But it's fine to use foul swear words with abandon?

Lol makes mental note to use slaggy slutty words as much as possible now, just cos I can

PortofinoRevisited · 30/04/2014 19:31

Spider - you are on my radar as being, well not of a feminist persuasion shall we say? . Do you understand why there is a difference in using words such as "Slut" "Bitch" and "slag" verses general swearing?

WooWooo · 30/04/2014 19:33

This woman is the least of your problems

EverythingCounts · 30/04/2014 19:33

Glad we're starting to get past moral outrage at the title now. It still might be an idea to get MNHQ to change to stem the tide of frothing.

OP, have you confronted the woman herself about this? I can see why it would be daunting but I think she should hear directly how much all this has hurt and upset you, even if she refuses to accept as much. I also think that if others know what she's like, they will take her version of events with a pinch of salt anyway.

Original poster
Hup · 30/04/2014 19:35

woowoo what makes you say that?

OP posts:
devoniandarling · 30/04/2014 19:42

barefootgirl i have to say it did cross my mind, but I'm definitely NOT a drunk.

I think you could do with talking to her yourself and explaining that her actions aren't helpful at a difficult time. I find this often works when gossips are causing problems. Of course sometimes it makes things a bit worse...

Original poster
Hup · 30/04/2014 20:13

I did talk to her and she carried on regardless ...
I no longer have contact with her, just wish H would grow some balls

OP posts: