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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To go away with out DC

49 replies

ICanSeeTheSun · 29/04/2014 18:49

DH and I haven't been away together on our own for over 9 years.

DC have been away with family member, plus we take them out a lot.

We are going away this weekend to the other side of the country and staying with friends to have an adult weekend. Lots of nights out and having DC there will change the dynamics.

OP posts:

CbeebiesIsAboutToPop · 29/04/2014 19:46

Hmm, well the first time I left my dc to go away with dh they were 18 months and 16 weeks! Clearly I'm a completely irresponsible parent!

As pp said you would only be u if you were leaving them to fend for themselves! Enjoy your time together.

TereseaGreen · 29/04/2014 20:10

I am enormously envious.We are saving like crazy so we can go away for a week in later in the year when we have guaranteed childcare and I can go and let my hair down. No guilt, no shame I have done it before and I will do it again.

craftysewer · 29/04/2014 20:27

Ever since my children were born, if DH and I have done nothing else, we have gone away for a long weekend for our wedding anniversary on our own. I don't think it does children any harm at all to be left with good friends or family whilst parents spend quality time together. I am now getting to the stage where my dc's are 26, 20 & 18 and DH and I are spending a lot more time together. I believe you have to work hard at your marriage when children come along in order to come out the other side still a couple. Have your break and enjoy it with no sense of guilt. You will be a better family for it.all

Original poster

ICanSeeTheSun · 29/04/2014 21:35

DH and I are drifting apart.

We never see each other, I am sat on my own waiting for him to come home from work which will be at 11, by then I am knackered after being up since 5 and back up for 5 tomorrow morning for work.

Next week he will would have been on nights ( we have a week off together for the first time since DD was born) when he is on nights it's worse as he wakes up around 6 and we have 1.5 together a day.

I know there is a lot more people out there in worse situation than me.

I think I am now fucked off with the comment.

DH are like passing sails, there is always 1 of us working.

As I work for the nhs I even work Christmas Day.

OP posts:

MadameJosephine · 29/04/2014 22:18

YANBU in any way, enjoy yourselves the kids will still be there when you get back

MyGastIsFlabbered · 29/04/2014 22:31

DH & I went away last month for 4 nights in Florence leaving our 4yo & 18 month old with grandparents. It saved our marriage, we had a lovely time & the boys didn't really notice!!

Thetallesttower · 29/04/2014 22:33

There's nothing to explain, this is perfectly normal, no idea who these people are who think children going to stay with their grandparents is selfish! I go away once or twice a year like this, it's great fun. Have been doing since they were about 4 and 6.

McNickenChuggets · 29/04/2014 22:38

I'm gonna get flamed here but don't really care. I left my son when he was 4-6months old for 3 weekends! Not in a row might I add. Left him with my parents who are fantastic with him and look after him fantastically. People need to stop being so precious about things like this. Not like we're abandoning our kids ffs! If anything it made me miss him tons. I don't really understand people getting upset over things like this. It doesn't make you a bad parent to have a little time to yourself, it makes you human.

McNickenChuggets · 29/04/2014 22:41

Oh and I'm leaving ds with grandparents again for 5 days in a row at end of June. He will be 16 months old by this time. I'm a terrible, terrible mother!

CockBollocks · 29/04/2014 22:51

YADNBU.

CbeebiesIsAboutToPop · 30/04/2014 07:22

Please don't explain yourself. Fwiw, my psychotherapist says it's healthy to go away once in a while. It's healthy for the children to see you need time together to be adults, healthy for the relationship to not be mummy and daddy but just adults with each other and healthy for the children to build relationships with other people (weather it's friends, family etc)

Go away, get drunk, have fun, le your hair down, be an adult, have adult c have care free sex withou worrying the children might walk in!

CbeebiesIsAboutToPop · 30/04/2014 07:23

That should say have adult conversation and have care free sex

Enjoy your time away and the precious time with your dh you deserve (know all about the ships passing!) enjoy and don't feel guilty for even 1 moment.

wigglylines · 30/04/2014 07:44

I remember staying at my GPs from when I was very lurks and I loved spending time with them.

I imagine your DC will be spoilt rotten and it will strengthen their relationship with GPs.

Your colleagues are being odd. Do they have an issue with your DC staying with GP, or is it fine as long as you stay home and have no fun yourself?!

wigglylines · 30/04/2014 07:44

Lurks? Little! Stupid phone!

jasminemai · 30/04/2014 07:46

9 years? The majority of parents I know have been doing this regularly since their children were babies

dramajustfollowsme · 30/04/2014 08:20

Dd was 14m when dh managed to get us last minute tickets for the Olympics. It would have been no use taking her along so dh and I had 4 days away.
Dd stayed with my Dsis who utterly dotes on her. It was fab. YANBU

WiiUnfit · 30/04/2014 08:36

YANBU, everyone needs some alone time with their partners, especially when you have DCs! DP & I have had similar looks when discussing our upcoming honeymoon, truth is PIL t

WiiUnfit · 30/04/2014 08:37

Ahh! Posted to soon!

PiLs told us we need to have a proper honeymoon & spend some time on our own, they're having DS, they really are a fab pair! Have a great time OP!

Stinklebell · 30/04/2014 08:43

God no, go, have fun!

I go away every year with friends for a weekend - we drink, we dance and generally behave very irresponsibly. It's great.

DH and I have a weekend away on our own without the kids as well. My kids go to their grandparents where they are thoroughly spoiled for 2 nights and have a fabulous time

We all need some time out occasionally

Purplepoodle · 30/04/2014 10:17

Throw at pil and run for the hills. It's a win win. You will have a fab time being a couple instead of mummy and daddy. Kids will have a spoilt rotten time with grandparents.

KenAdams · 30/04/2014 10:23

8 and 5?! Go go go!

passmethewineplease · 30/04/2014 10:30

YANBU, We went away for five days when dd was three! She was in safe hands with my mum and that holiday was needed, we had had a shit year and needed some us time. I facetimed dd every night, not that she cared..

I don't care if it was selfish, we can be a little selfish sometimes IMO

Original poster

ICanSeeTheSun · 30/04/2014 20:11

All packed and ready to go without an ounce of guilt.

OP posts:

DIYapprentice · 30/04/2014 21:47

What's wrong with being selfish? As long as you being selfish doesn't actually hurt someone else, then nought wrong with it. We're ALL allowed to be selfish at some point.

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