to cancel DD's surprise 21st before I spontaneously combust?

[PleaseJustShootMeNow]

Because MIL asked if she could provide the birthday cake and I, in a moment of madness, said yes.

OMfuckingG! She's driving me insane. She's gone all Cakezilla and I need to slay the beast. A fortnight it's been going on. 22 emails in the last 48 hours alone. About cake. Lost count of how many text messages. About cake. She's Skyped 3 times today already, the last time being from inside the bakery so I could be party to the discussion with the baker. JUST BUY A FUCKING CAKE IN SAINSBURY'S AND BE DONE WITH IT!

< and breathe ... >

Thanks for making me laugh.

For you....

What kind of cake is this?!

Is it going to be the size and shape of a Mini?

for you OP

Cakezilla

All that and she's not even baking it herself? Tell her you are disappointed with her lack of commitment

What type of cake?

Well that depends. The photo linked to email #1 was chocolate. The one linked to email #2 was sponge but it could be chocolate if I'd rather. FIL likes chocolate but Auntie J thinks a plain sponge would be more popular, but we could always order 2 smaller ones so there's a choice, then we would be able to have different colour ribbons which would be lovely and could match the balloons, are we having balloons, balloons are nice and the lady she worked with had them at her wedding and it did look lovely, would I like her to ask the lady at work where she got her balloons from ... and on ... and on ... and on ...

If I mention baking it herself I'll end up getting sent photo's of bags of flour with a list of their pros and cons, asking which one I'd prefer was used.

Would organic, free range eggs taste nicer?

... although battery eggs would be cheaper and the savings could go towards getting some balloons ...

Has she always been madder than a box of frogs a bit of a perfectionist?

DH and SIL call her Hyacinth.

She sounds very sweet in mad way, but I'm glad it's you dealing with her and not me

It turns out that if it's the thought that counts, it's possible to put in too much thought!

Get yourself a box of Jaffa cakes, take a deep breath and steer her in some kind of direction!

Sorry, but I did laugh about the imagined flour questions.

Lololololol@ your cakezilla mil. Good luck not spontaneously combusting. It will be hard.

And if you were to email her with a precise description of exactly the cake you'd like her to buy, she'd either say she didn't like it or would say she loved that idea - and then buy something totally different.

Bake the cake yourself, and use the money saved to hire a hitman.

Why not suggest she watches Amazing Cakes on the Food Network Channel for ideas?

This will cheer you up.

www.cakewrecks.com/

I LOVE CAKE WRECKS TILLY

Sorry OP but you have just given me a good laugh. Good lord. Your MIL sounds bonkers!

I think you need to tell your MIL that you're too busy to deal anymore with the cake issue, and you are happy with whatever cake decisions she decides to make, before you end up killing her.

VanGogh Just don't show OP's MIL. She'll be even more scared of messing it up!

Actually, maybe she has seen Cake Wrecks and that's the problem.

Ignore the texts and emails apart from one blanket response: 'Up to you!'

Alternatively, Bake the cake yourself, and use the money saved to hire a hitman.

This.

I made you a cake OP!

...but the candles were a PITA so your DD can only have 1

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www.cakewrecks.com/storage/KatherineL.ow.ladybugturkey.jpg?__SQUARESPACE_CACHEVERSION=1395699308912

Sounds like your mil is a bit over enthusiastic

Grab yourself some to help you cope!

The cake wrecks made me cry laughing!

Holy crap, Van Gogh! That's amazing!

And sympathies, OP. Sniggering sympathies I have to admit, but sympathies nonetheless.

'Slay the beast'

I can't stop giggling.