Abuse Advice

[JustforMe]

JustforMeTue 29-Apr-14 14:24:50

Not sure if this is the right place but I didn't know where else to put it.

my 16 nearly 17 year old dsis told me the other day that her current stepfather used to physically abuse her and even tried to suffocate her when she was little. She doesn't remember and is only going on what her mother has told her as her mother uses it against her husband when they argue. Also when she was little she did use to come to visit with bruises and bite marks. She would have only been 3 or 4 at the time and I was only 10 so didn't know.

I was wondering if you had any advice about what to do. I haven't told our father as I want her to do that but not sure if I should tell him if she doesn't. I am concerned that her mother will take her husband back and although my sis has assured me it doesn't happen anymore I still don't feel right about her living there.

Any advice?

The important thing is, does she feel safe there with him? If not, yes tell someone. She might be too afraid to speak up on her own.

Actually. Tell someone anyway. Even if it's false, her mother telling her she was abused is still a really unhealthy environment to live in.

That's the thing it kicked off a couple of nights a go when her mother was drunk. But she couldn't leave because she has a younger sister but luckily her brother was there and he left. I wanted her out of there but she said she was fine.

I think she just sees at something her mum brings up when she is angry at her step dad and no big deal but it is a big deal to me.

Still, I would consider telling. As her father, he has a right to know if something is going on with his children that could potentially put their safety at risk. She might be down playing it because she's afraid of leaving her sister alone with them. That happens too, where siblings will bite the bullet to protect the others. But don't think that if she was being abused she would tell someone, most kids won't.

Worst that can happen is that her mom was lying, and she needs to learn to stop talking ish behind her husband's back. But if something is going on, her and her sister need to have some sort of intervention.

Thank you I think I will talk to her and try and convince her to tell him but if not I will.

As she is under 18 is she still considered a minor?

I told my dad today today I decided that I had a duty

I told me dad today. I decided that I had a duty of care to my sister and that he had to know. I feel a lot better knowing that it will be dealt with.