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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

AIBU to not want to leave him for a weekend yet

37 replies

SigningGirl · 29/04/2014 12:21

Hi,

PFB DS is 15 months - shortly before he was born DH and I were given a city break gift by his parents with free weekend of babysitting. I found that quite odd at the time; I hadn't even given birth to him yet and they wanted me to leave him to go on a jolly.

Nevertheless, I smiled politely and said thank you. Fast forward 15 months, I'm still BF (although less and less) and we still haven't taken the break. Mainly because I am the one that organises these things and I don't want to go away without DS.

My reasons are:

I'm still BF (he won't take a bottle or drink milk from a cup. We've tried many many times)
Family time is precious - we don't get enough time as a three anyway
I wouldn't want to be so far away in case anything happened
My inlaws are lovely, but their place is totally not child friendly - DS has to be watched 100% of the time there, so they would have to stay at ours and I don't tend to leave people in our house for a weekend without us...
Their first aid skills leave quite a bit to be desired (which I think is important).

and the last one... which is a gut thing. I just don't want to...

DH is being understanding and supportive, but would go away and leave him. AIBU?

OP posts:

squoosh · 29/04/2014 17:11

Fair enough Signing. Tell them you're planning a trip away for November then if November doesn't suit you can just kick it further down the field.

OfficerVanHalen · 29/04/2014 17:18

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Hissy · 29/04/2014 19:11

I left my ds for a weekend last November, a month before his 8th birthday.

He did have the odd night at my mum's before, if I needed to go out or away with work.

If you don't want to, you don't have to. This weekend was for your (collective) benefit.

If your DH is on board, take your ds with you (before it gets pricey to fly him!)

Somepercentagenotcool · 29/04/2014 19:19

These threads are so alien to me! I left ds for the first time at about 3 months to go to DHs work do and have left him numerous times since, once for 4 nights while we went on a city break when he had just turned two (although this was all with my parents). I didn't cry once

However, YANBU to feel the way you do. If you are not ready to leave him then you are not ready to leave him, just talk to your DH.

flippyflapper · 29/04/2014 19:29

my eldest is 11 and we have neveer had a night away.

Our own fault for having too many children.

no one offers when there is 2 or more.

I felt exactly the same whenr our first born was little though so don't be pressured.

I would give my right arm to have 1 night away now though.

smartypants1000 · 29/04/2014 20:22

I wouldn't have been comfortable leaving mine overnight at that age. Youngest is 2 and I haven't left her for more than one night, or with anyone apart from dh. I think there's plenty of time for couple time, they grow up so quickly - you shouldn't feel under pressure to leave him if you're not comfortable.

I'm another thinking take him with you - doubt it would cost extra. But I think your PIL's are probably looking forward to looking after him (was that why they bought you the break?) - if there's no deadline and you want to save it for a grown up break, just leave it until you're comfortable leaving him. You've left him in their care already, and I know plenty of people who have never left them anywhere at 15 months, so YANBU in my opinion. I'd build up to leaving him overnight while you're nearby and can pick him up first thing, get to feel happy with that before a whole weekend at distance?

arethereanyleftatall · 29/04/2014 20:27

It could be the perfect opportunity to wean him off the boob tho?...

peppinagiro · 29/04/2014 21:14

Why does OP need to wean him off the boob, arethereanyleftatall? He's only 15 months.

arethereanyleftatall · 29/04/2014 23:14

Oh, did I misunderstand that, whoops. I thought op was trying to get him off.

midnightagents · 30/04/2014 08:44

I think Yabu in over thinking this. You don't need to put all those reasons, if they ask you just have to say something along the lines of "that's really lovely of you, but we're really tired/ bust at the moment, maybe another time".

I think it is a lovely thoughtful offer though. Some (though obviously not all) parents would be desperate to get away at that point. I know I am now with a 4 yr old. I wouldn't have with a newborn though but it's different for everyone, you don't need to make it into a who's right and who's wrong though. Just different.

Purplepoodle · 30/04/2014 10:21

You can't change how you feel BUT sometimes you have to think about your relationship. Dh's can feel very neglected once children come along and marriages can suffer. Perhaps this is your husbands way of reconnecting with you.

KenAdams · 30/04/2014 10:33

I had to be out by 8pm after the bedtime feed and back before the next feed at 11pm. I went out twice. I bf for 17 months (would have liked to go longer but couldn't due to a medical procedure). Now I've finished bfing, I can do what. It's such a tiny amount of time in reality, just wait until you e finished.

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