Leaving a 12 year old and an 8 year old alone in the house together for 3 hours

[SATSmadness]

Would like to say that I have never done this myself.

Family concerned live in a "naice" area of a small city.

Once a month the AP has to leave early whilst the Mum & Dad are at a regular monthly week-day evening fixed engagement (which cannot be re-arranged and which they really need to attend).

They have just started leaving the boys alone together for 3 hours from 5pm to 8pm.

AP gives kids their evening meal and leaves them watching TV or playing computer games. They are apparently under strict instructions not to open the door to anyone and to say M/D are in the toilet so will ring back later if anyone telephones.

Parents really see this as giving the 12 year old a taste of responsibility. I have to say they are both mature sensible boys in many respects but....... You just never know do you ?

Is this illegal do you think ? It's only happened twice so far (is only once a month as I said earlier) and kids obviously came to no harm.

Fair enough. For me it's the length - 1 hour fine, 3 hours not, and would feel happier with 14. But it does depend on the individual child. Definitely not illegal, anyway.

I see no problem with this at all.

Absolutely fine. I leave my 13yr old &12 yr old in charge of my 9 yr old for 6 hrs while I work on a sat morning. I amhome by 1 they don't get out of bed until 11 and are very sensible they know what to do in case of fire or emergency and I'm only 10 minutes down the road.

I think it's advisable not to do this for 3 hours if they want to avoid any intervention by authorities or place undue burden on their children if an accident where to occur.

I can't see any issue with this at all.

I misread the title and thought it said 3YO and was going to say that was too much responsibility. But 12 and 8 is fine.

I leave my 13 year old in charge in my 7 year old - I haven't done it for more than 45 minutes/an hour but theoretically wouldn't have a problem with leaving them for longer than that. I wouldn't leave my 13 year old in charge of my 5 year old - she's too young & unpredictable (& demanding) & it would be unfair on the 13yo!

That's fine in my opinion

I think it would depend on how mature the 12 year old is an how they get on together.

I know several siblings of these ages who would be fine in this scenario.

I don't see a problem as long as the children are comfortable with it, and have done it myself with DC aged 12, 11 & 8.

For me it totally depends on the children! If they aren't likely to mess around/play fight/do science experiments etc then it's fine.

Mine are 11 and 7, and whilst I would (and occasionally do) leave the 11yo alone, I would never leave them both, because they fight, and the 7yo does not accept anyone's the 11 yo's authority and he would not be able to prevent her doing something stupid/dangerous if she were to take it into her head. Since mobile signal is very dodgy around us, I would also worry that we might well not be contactable if they needed us. Were several of those factors different, I might consider it.

It's clearly a very grey area, that depends on the personalities of the children and the very personal attitudes of the parents.

It's certainly not illegal as such, but as others have said could conceivably be deemed neglect if some thing went wrong. Parents are held responsible for the children right up to 18 and have to make a judgement about the risks, I think. It's a myth that it is OK at 13/15/whatever and not before.

For what it is worth, my two are 11 and 10 (or rather, almost 12 and 10.5). I wouldn't leave them along together for that long quite yet, but have left them for up to about an hour and have left the 11 yr old alone for up to about 2 hours.

I don't necessarily see the problem with this at 8 and 12 but it does depend on the individual children really. It could be scary for them in the winter when it is dark outside by 5pm though?

I assume the parents leave emergency contact numbers and so on.

i used to turn the oven on and when it was heated put a cottage pie in when I was 9 and younger so DB and I could eat before DM came home from work to take us to swimming class.

my parents gave me very strict instructions as to what I was to do and I listened to them, more so than when I was 15.

I think we were alone from 3:45 until 17:15 or thereabouts.

they ve been fed. they are watching tv and playing games. it's fine. the 12 year old can phone etc (8 year old could too)

I don't see any neglect.

I leave my 12 year old DS and 9 yo DD for that sort of time. DS is not in charge though - they are each responsible for themselves. He has a mobile and numbers to contact. They do not answer the door or the landline. Both are left independently as well - although the younger for shorter periods of time. You need to know your children, how sensible they are, and whether they are happy with being left.

I think that's fine. I've left my 13 year old looking after my 7 year old for 3 hours a few times. I wouldn't have done a year ago when DD2 was 12 but only because DD3 can be a nightmare hard work. Even now I have to think about what mood DD3 is in before I decide if I can leave them or not. I wouldn't leave them if DD3 is in a difficult mood because it wouldn't be fair on DD2.