To tell DH to snap out of his mood?

[lukewarmbath]

Every time DH has been ill, whether it's with a cold, or headache, or whatever, he is in a bad mood for days afterwards.

He's been moping around feeling ill all weekend, saying he has a headache but not taking any painkillers for it, and basically disappearing upstairs and laying on the bed watching box sets every time a meal needs preparing, or the kids need a bath, or anything like that. He doesn't even try to be upbeat or try to do anything if he feels ill, he just sits in the chair moping.

He was in a foul mood this morning before work, as he still didn't feel right. Now he's just phoned me as he's about to leave work to come home, and again was just moody and uncommunicative.

AIBU to tell him to snap out of his mood tonight if he just sits there moping around again?

You can do that. You just need to bear in mind that it won't actually magically make him feel better. Or be nicer to you, for that matter, either.

Hi , i have a 2 year old and he is always biting his nails , so bad that they bleed and give him alot of pain any advise on what i can do thank you

I don't think there has ever in the history of mankind been a case where someone being told to snap out of it has done so

I'd just pack him off to bed when he gets in so he's out of the way and you can MN/hog the TV/do whatever you want without his moaning and groaning in front of you.

Woop put in wrong bit ;)

"Snap out of it" won't work but "take these headache pills before I punch you" might.

DP does this, but apparently he's well enough to play video games/watch movies all day

Just ignore it. Tell him to go moan upstairs on his own and to come back down when he's prepared to grow up a little bit.

I understand your gripe. my husband is like this too. refuses to take painkillers or to even drink water yet complains to no end about his headaches when he is ill.

he shouldn't be taking it out on you though. its not your fault he is ill. i would defo talk to him about it.

My husband gets cranky when he's hungry. I just ask him "Is it my fault you're hungry? Then don't take it out on me!" It doesn't solve much, but he at least is quiet instead of cranky, which I feel is an acceptable alternative.

You could try telling him how his mood affects you, and that you have limited sympathy when he won't follow any practical advice. Unless he's actually depressed, in which case you'd have to try and understand the causes.

Throw a bucket of cold water over him. ....then run. .. Call it shock therapy

Urgh, he's got home and is in an even worse mood. I told him tea would be 10 minutes and he pulled a face. Then he just shouted at me because he thought the crumble for pudding was burning. It wasn't. Feel like going out for the evening

you make a pudding on a Monday night?! he should be falling on his knees with thanks. i gave my DH beans on toast. he loved it. however, he can be a grumpy git sometimes so you have my understanding and sympathy!

Oh yes tell him to snap out of it then leave him to do the rest of the evening chores and go and meet a friend. Moody git

Is it a man thing about not taking painkillers ? mine does it too. i go down the route of if you won't do something about it then i don't want to hear about it, you wont get any sympathy and don't take your mood out on me. it usually shuts him up and makes him realise hes being a pain in the arse overgrown child

OOh he should move in with my DH
I talked to him like he was a child the other day because he told my son that he was being childish and spoiling his day. FFS who is the adult

If you have kids it may be worth asking him if he would put up with this behaviour from one of the children.

perhaps all the moody when ill men should have a man pad and stop taking it out on us? my husband does this too "ive got the flu!" take these tablets then they won't help i cant breathe! they are decongestants FFS they WILL HELP YOU BREATHE my head hurts my head hurts all day long have you taken anything for it? no i dont like taking pills i lost my rag once he kept on interrupting me telling me his head hurt i told him i had heard him for 8 hours already so take something or STFU already (my poor kids were trying to get a word in!) he went upstairs to sulk i got so much more done with him away it was bliss

Could he have depression? Why not sympathetically and lovingly say to him that you're really worried about him, worried he's not well, worried he's not coping and want to help him? His behaviour is leading to you feeling he is neglecting you and the children.
You can offer to speak to a doctor, go to GP with him, anything to help.
On a totally unrelated note my DH moped no more when I offered to call a GP about his possible depression. :-)

Oh Op YANBU at all.
My very DH does this too when he is ill ... or rather 'did'. I told him in no uncertain terms that his behaviour was selfish and unreasonable especially as he wouldn't even take some aspirin yet was still able to game for hours whilst I run around (also with the flu) and a back injury that has left me in agony >:{

Tell him when he is feeling better though as his man-flu may cloud his better judgement ;)

What's his family like about illness? I ask because I think we unknowingly inherit a lot of attitudes about things like this, based on how the family treated ill people ad illness growing up. Some people do expect to be waited on hand and foot, endless sympathy, etc, some use illness to be either unreasonably demanding or the centre of attention etc.

In other words, it's not necessarily about how your DH feels physically. Talk about it. But make sure one of the things you say is that what is acceptable behaviour doesn't change when he's ill (I bet it doesn't for you?) and taking it out on you will not be tolerated.

My husband is just like that lol, won't take anything just likes to moan, he also has a habit of every time in Ill and I ask him to watch the kids/ take over home duties all of a sudden he comes down with something too.