To want the children to share a bed?

[GreenIsTheWord]

DH and I are having a disagreement atm.

We have three dc, ds's aged 7 and 5 and dd aged 2. We're currently in a two bedroom house, and the dc share the largest room. Ds1 and ds2 have bunk beds, and dd has a toddler bed.

Dd is very big for 2 and has pretty much outgrown the toddler bed, so we need to now move her up to a 'standard' sized bed.
A standard single will take up a lot more space than her tiny toddler bed. The ds's bunks are in a kind of alcove in the room, meaning they fit in and then there is about 4 foot of space before the room 'begins' iyswim.

Rather than getting dd a single bed and taking up space that could otherwise be used by them, i would like to get bunk beds with a single on top and a double on the bottom. They would still fit into the alcove meaning no bedroom space would be lost (and with the toddler bed being removed would actually be gaining space). Due to dd's age I wouldn't want her on the top, so it would be ds1 (7) on top and ds2 (5) and dd (2) sharing the double.

I will add that this will only be for a maximum of two years. We have an investment maturing in December 2015 and will then be buying a bigger house, 3 bed min, so the dc will probably all have their own rooms.

DH thinks it's an awful idea, that a child should have their own bed, particularly as it would be girl/boy sharing. He's embarrassed about people 'finding out' that they share a bed and thinking we're poor/neglectful in not giving them their own beds

For me, I think the additional space in the bedroom will be more than worth it. At ages 5 and 2 (up until ages 7 and 4) I think it's fine for them to share as they're not of an age where they need 'privacy' as such - obviously if they were 15 and 12 I wouldn't consider it! Often I wake to find that dd has squeezed into bed with ds2 during the night anyway, and I think they'd actually be thrilled with the idea.

AIBU?

I think they should have their own beds. They're separate people.

Not very comfortable or practical when you think about different scenarios that happen- illness, bed wetting etc

Could you get a three storey bunk bed?

I think it's fine. We have a 4 bedroom house, but our 2 DCs insist on sharing the same bed! They love it, all snuggled together.

I honestly don't know how I feel about this. I initially felt probably a bit like your DH does, but if I really think about it, there's no earthly reason why not, is there?

Could you get a three storey bunk bed?

Does such a thing exist?! Off to google.

I just don't think they'd sleep well, what about getting up in the night for the loo, what when one is ill, etc. Not ideal at all. Could you get a pull out underneath bed for the bottom bunk that comes out at night and goes away during the day?

Wilson - when I originally thought of it, that's kind of how I felt. I instantly dismissed it, then stopped and thought 'Well why not?'

DH has stuck on the instantly dismissing stage.

I have never heard of a three story bunk bed, but could dc3 sleep in a trundle bed stored under the bottom bunk in the daytime?

I have similar gaps to you (9, 7 and 3) and have had to deal with bedroom juggling too. I can understand what your thinking is but I'm not convinced by the younger 2 sharing a bed either.

Could you consider a high sleeper for the second bed so the boys could be at the tops and your DD could be on the lower bunk but you'd not loose out on floor space?

We bought our DDs very expensive bunk beds, from day 1 DD2 snuck into DD1's bed and slept soundly, as opposed to waking 3 times a night for a cuddle! The then started getting into one bed before i even got down the stairs and finally just getting into bed together. This went on for nearly 18mo and one day DD1 decided to sleep alone and DD2 was happy with it. Has done neither of them any harm and they still love snuggling together in the mornings.

I don't think a double in an alcove will work, if one DC has to climb over the other to go to the loo.

I do know 7/9 y girls who share an ordinary double ok.

DD2 shares her double bed for sleepovers as long as everyone has their own single quilt.

I think they need their own beds unless you really have no other choice. It's not fair to expect them to share and deal with the others bed-wetting, being sick, etc.

Must admit I hadn't considered the bedwetting/ilness scenario. Although to be fair, if one of them is ill then they're usually in with me and dh anyway - and if two or more of them are ill then they end up in with me and dh takes the bottom bunk lol.

I'm not keen on having a pull-out bed tbh. I had thought of it, but that really does seem like 'not having a proper bed' more so than two of them sharing a double.

They should have their own bed. If nothing else for the convenience of one potentially being ill - imagine having to clear puke up from poorly child who has thrown up over well child?

We have 4dc in a 2 bed house so I can empathise with your situation. However, there are ways of doing this without losing a large amount of floor space.

When our dts(2) go into their own beds our plan is to swap their smaller room for our larger one and get another ikea Kura bed - we already have 1. The eldest two (nearly 6&4) will sleep on top, the youngest toe will have mattresses underneath. In your case, your eldest two could have the top bunks, youngest on a mattress under one, then you have play/den/storage space underneath the other.

It sounds like you would have room to put those beds in your dc's current room so you wouldn't necessarily have to swap rooms.

Could you get some kind of fold-away bed for DD, so that it is full size to sleep on, but doesn't take up so much space during the day.

Having said that I'd have no problem with them sharing, as my two (7 & 4) are often found together in the eldests double bed. They share a room anyway, and refuse to be put separately! The 4 year old is still in a toddler bed and I reckon still has a year or so room in it.

They should have their own beds.

www.ebay.co.uk/itm/Triple-bunk-beds-Tri-Bunk-bed-3-High-Bunk-Beds-/330391293282 would this sort of thing work ?

I'm on the fence too on this. Can see both sides.

I remember watching one of those C4 programmes where the families had millions of kids and one of the dads had built two sets of triple bunks in one room so they could fit six kids in. It looked like the way they layer bunks in tour busses. Looked really cool and if your DH isn't handy then I'm sure you could find a local carpenter to build one.

I think the programme was "15 kids and counting" and they're still available to watch online. Sorry o can't remember which episode.

I think pull out trundle bed is the best idea, though what happens when the trundle bed sleeper is poorly in the daytime?

However my sister and I often used to share, sometimes top to tail in a single when necessary.

Tricky. Roll on those two years!

I think it's fine, but it is unusual in this country.

I would go for a triple.

Here are some good pictures - would any of these work in the space you have?

Oh wow fed that is brilliant! I'd have loved that as a kid

I'd go with triple bunks too, although looking at the one linked to on ebay I'd want more space between the bottom two bunks (maybe I'm seeing it slightly weirdly because the bottom bunk is on the floor, though.)

You can get triple height bunk beds (works well if you are in an older property with high ceilings) and whilst they are young as there may not be the same height of gap between each platform as a double bunk-bed.

You can also get right angle triples so that the height doesn't need to be so great between bunks as the middle bunk is at 90 degrees to the top and bottom. Obviously you need a little more floor space for this but it creates a book into which a chest of drawers/seat/bookcase/toy storage can fit.

I definitely think triple is the way to go. So cool to show off to their friends too !

This is one of those scenarios where my instinct is to say they need their own beds, but actually, I can't think of a set reason why apart for. Practicalities, provided the children are happy to share.

Some families co sleep way over 2.