Sorry this may be long and I am aware I will probably come across as a bitch.
I split with my XH when I was pregnant with DD2. When she was 1, I started a relationship with an old friend. He lives and works away, but we had a serious 3yr relationship, and he got to care for my DD's (who were 1 and 6 when he met them) and stayed with us a lot.
It didnt work out, because we wanted very different things, he wanted marriage and babies, I did not. I also sadly didnt fancy him/he has some personal hygiene issues, and as time went on every single thing he did annoyed me.
Now let me say, he is a good man, he really didnt do anything wrong. He is generous to a fault (and I mean a fault, at the age of 40 odd, he "lends" and gives away money like water, such that despite earning a very good income, he has no savings or house of his own). He is also painfully needy, and I know it sounds odd but overly keen to help (like a puppy).
He really wouldnt accept it but I finally ended it. My DD2 was distraught as she adored him, and he was a far better father than their own ever was.
We have stayed in contact and seen each other 1-2/year, he always sends the girls gifts. At xmas, when they phoned to thank him (for his overly generous gifts), he asked me if he could come and see the girls, we hadnt seen him for a year at that stage.
So he's here now, and the girls are delighted, but he is just annoying me. I suspect that he's not that bad, but everything he does winds me up, he has a way of half hearted sulky look when he feels like he isnt getting attention, he follows me around asking if he can help, I have to suggest he has a shower before we go out. He stays up drinking wine until the early hours, then gets up early with DD2, he is a bit of a martyr. Ugh I am sure its me, but he just winds me up.
DD2 will be gutted again when he goes :(
I shouldnt have let him come, I know that AIBU??
I do think its hard for men who develop a relationship with children not their own, and then cant see them again when the relationship breaks down.