Or is my df? Bday related.

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So my dad has gone bat shit crazy because I forgot to send him and birthday card and forgot my nanas bday completely.
He said I am selfish and have forgotten what's important in life. I have apologised but he's still not happy. In my defence I have a massive case of pregnant baby brain ie forgetting to pay the dd's school dinner money, leaving house door wide open , leaving car unlocked whilst in work etc etc but apparently it's not good enough.
So Aibu or is he? He's making me feel awful!

I think that is pretty bad, even if you had a good excuse, I wouldn't have made excuses to him, I'd have just apologised profusely.

Yes, that's a good point. Did you try to make excuses? I would've been upset if close family had forgotten my birthday and then tried to excuse it.

I think I would be hurt if my grown children forgot to send me a birthday card.

If you know you are forgetful, then take steps to make sure it doesn't happen again. Eg use a calendar, write it in your diary/phone at the beginning of the year, or use some system like Moonpig reminders (which sends you emails a week before the date.

If you know that your memory is bad, then you have to start using post-it notes, lists, whatever. My memory is pretty shit and I write things down as they occur to me - even something as basic as "DS3 needs swimming kit next Wed".

But you have to take the responsibility here - the responsibility to do what it takes not to forget, and the responsibility to apologise. From your father's POV it must look like you just didn't give a shit - I know that's unfair, but that'll be how he's seeing it.

I did apologise but after he got a bit nasty I than gave my reasons . I did call my nana straight away and she was lovely as always.

I think it's very precious and obnoxious of him to get angry about it. It's only a birthday. If one of my kids forgot my birthday I might have a gentle word with them but nothing more. I'd just remind them that I like it when they remember. I would hate the idea that people would only remember my birthday because they were scared of a telling off.

My memory is shocking at the moment . I do need a calendar. He is quite hard on me as in he can't understand why I am busy with the kids and work etc. my mum did most of the child care with us and they are divorced now

YANBU.

I do not get this kind of behaviour. He's a grown adult. How on earth can you be so precious and demanding about a generic card?

DP's toxic father has been known to cut him off because a card didn't arrive on exactly the right day .

Some people value birthdays and some people don't. There was a thread the other day about someone's husband not valuing her birthday, it showed some people really care about it and others less so.

I think if he values birthdays then it isn't unreasonable to be hurt. I'd be really upset by this if my DC forgot my birthday in this way.

My mum swears blind he never bothered with her bday ! I don't know. I have never before forgot so it was a one off.

It's just a birthday ffs!

Then again I've forgotten mine a few times, just another day of the year.

I am more forgetful these days and use the calendar on my phone to remind me to do things like posting birthday cards. Is this an option for you?

Are you depressed? PND fucked up my memory/concentration big time.

I forgot my DM's bday once & she still mentions it some 25 years later I woke in the night after midnight, realised what I'd done & sent flowers the next day. Not good enough

A couple of years ago she spent several hours in a panic ringing round everyone she could think of on my birthday - we were away in the Yorkshire Dales with no mobile signal. She had been told where we were staying but had forgotten. I suppose I ought to have rung her from the guesthouse phone.

No witch im not depressed. Just working with two small children and 7 months pregnant. I'm hopeless at the moment. I put cornflakes in my mug and a tea bag in my bowl the other day!