To really really wish I hadn't told anyone about our failed Ivf?

[Moonfacesmother]

I didn't tell anyone whilst we were going through it but told two close friends afterwards. I just felt like I needed to tell someone even though I didn't really want to talk about it.

One of those friends is now pregnant with her second baby (our failed attempt was in February) and she keeps going on about when we will try again. I don't feel ready at the moment and not sure if I ever will, the first cycle made me really unwell and I'm still suffering now with the after effects. I started off saying I wasn't sure but because she's kept pushing I then said we couldn't afford another cycle (this isn't strictly true). She then suggested we get a loan as a "baby is worth every penny." I have a ds the same age as her first child and she also keeps saying "oh it was lovely when we were bother pregnant together the first time round. Wouldn't it be nice if it happened again?"

Aibu to think get lost? I've started to distance myself. When the baby arrives it may be unbearable.

YANBU. If she's a close friend, can you tell her how you feel?

YANBU, people can be so thoughtless sometimes! I hope if you do decide to go ahead with a further round of IVF in the future that it is successful. Maybe you could explain to her that actually IVF is an incredibly draining process, physically, emotionally and financially and that you're not ready to go through it again, and may never be. Most friends should understand that. My Dh and I struggled with infertility for nearly five years and I'll never forget his sister saying to us 'Oh for goodness sake, just get on with it and do IVF'. I think if you haven't been through it, people can find it hard to understand the stress and anxiety infertility and IVF cause. Good luck.

I can understand her not fully getting it but surely it's not that hard to be vaguely tactful?
Mind you she seems to think ivf is a miracle 'cure'. She was quite stunned when I told her the odds at best are about one in three.
Hasn't stopped her going on though.

YANBU - I told friends about a miscarriage and subsequent ivf, and it was the worst decision ever. In the end had to distance myself more and more from my regular social group, and it was very isolating. Found them all very insensitive, and yet oddly enough had I been able to give them the excuse of 'they wouldn't say that if they knew', I would have been able to deal with it better.
I know it's hard, but try to focus on enjoying your ds, and if you do have another go in the future, good luck!

God no, YANBU. She is being incredibly thoughtless and I don't blame you for wanting to say get lost. IVF is draining both physically and (prob worse) emotionally and it isn't just something you can try again 'next week/month'. I guess she doesn't understand and is wrapped up in her pregnancy and genuinely would like it for you to be both pregnant together. It's a crock of shit isn't it. I do hope if you go ahead with another IVF round in the future it is successful.

YANBU. How utterly thoughtless.