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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To find Sundays the loneliest day of the week?

61 replies

Normalisavariantofcrazy · 27/04/2014 10:05

Friends are all engrossed in their own families
My family are all engrossed in each other and don't want to know me
The kids are at their fathers
DH goes and sees his FIL (who I really do not get on with so don't go)

And that leaves me. On my own. Yet again.

I hated Sundays when I was a lone parent for the same reason but expected DH to want to 'do' family things with US, he started to when we were dating but now we are married he's changed. Says he hates going out for the sake of it, doesn't like going for walks for the sake of walking and doesn't like going to the park with the kids (when we do have them)

So here I am, 10am on Sunday morning, wishing it to be Monday so I can go back to work for some company.

OP posts:
BrokenToeOuch · 27/04/2014 12:24

Whereabouts in the SE are you op?

gordyslovesheep · 27/04/2014 12:28

I see Sundays as my day - kids at their dads - peace for me

I go to boot camp early (9:30) with a big gang of women and we have a laugh and kill ourselves - then home and veg - watch lots of stuff I recorded, drink coffee, eat toast

If I need more company I nip to B+Q or Co-op and buy something and have a chat - that tends to tide me over

I am a bit of an unsociable git though

WooWooo · 27/04/2014 12:33

When I was a single gal I would go for a walk along the river, then buy newspapers and have a looooong brunch in a friendly cafe. Could that work?

OnlyLovers · 27/04/2014 12:38

I'm not a parent so I might be way off here, but doesn't it sometimes involve doing things you don't hugely like – like going to the park – if the kids want to do them?

It sounds like your DH just can't be arsed doing anything that isn't exactly what he wants to do, and doesn't feel that he wants to do it out of parental duty.

If he hates the park etc so much, can't he come up with some things you can all do together that he CAN bear to do?

He sounds selfish to me and like he doesn't really want to make any compromises at all for his family.

But more positively, if you love doing outdoors things could you join a walking group or something? Or look into walking tours (in London there are Jack the Ripper tours and historical buildings tours and all manner; maybe there's something similar where you are?).

I'm in London, if that's any good to you, and am free some Sundays (although unfortunately working today); we could meet for a walk along the South Bank and a poke around the second-hand book stalls, followed by a wander round Tate Modern or something. And coffee and cake. Smile

gobbin · 27/04/2014 12:39

If your local church has bells why not take up ringing as a hobby? All towers are glad to have new earners, it's a fab hobby and can keep you in touch with church or not as preferred.

gobbin · 27/04/2014 12:40

Learners, not earners!

WipsGlitter · 27/04/2014 12:42

I would go to the cinema.

Notcontent · 27/04/2014 13:31

I agree it can be hard. For,me the hardest time was when dd was a baby and toddler, and I was alone with her. So I couldn't do anything for me and yet she was too little to be company. I used to try to get out as much as possible but it was hard seeing families doing things together. Now I try to just relax and do something for myself if I have a Sunday alone. But I agree that part of it is that we all look forward to Sunday and then it's often a bit of a let down.

Missdread · 27/04/2014 13:44

YANBU. I am a Forces wife and frequently spend weeks, weekends, months on my own with 3 children. Weekends are by far the worst as everyone is at home with their partners having a nice family time while I'm at the farm park on my tod again, not getting a Sunday lie-in or any help at all. I shouldn't moan really as we have a nice life but I am on my own such a lot and it's so hard! I love Mondays because at least I see some other adults at the school gates ;-) Grin

dolphinsandwhales · 27/04/2014 13:46

Yanbu, as a single parent I don't like Sunday's either, everyone else is busy with family. I have found fun things to do with dd though, like going for tea and trying New playgrounds.

EatShitDerek · 27/04/2014 13:48

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

merlehaggard · 27/04/2014 13:53

I would join a health club/fitness class and make the most of your time alone.

TeaMakesItAllPossible · 27/04/2014 14:15

YANBU.

I know how you feel. There have been a couple of times in my life where Sunday were long dragging lonely days.

As a single parent to a toddler waiting for DS to get back from his father's. I used to walk, go to the matinee at the theatre, do house and garden stuff. But it took me a while to find something that worked.

Then when I had the 4 DC and a lovely DH. All, except the baby, were off playing sport and doing their thing most of the weekend and by Sunday afternoon they all wanted to do nothing and I wanted to party. In that instance I took up sport myself and now I like sitting around in my PJs at 1414 watching Brave and thinking about baking some cakes and a glass of wine.

I think once you have a plan you will be happier.

uselessidiot · 27/04/2014 14:24

I find every day equally lonely tbh.

Is there some sort of walking club near you if you like that sort of thing?

EatShitDerek · 27/04/2014 14:26

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

uselessidiot · 27/04/2014 14:51

I can't think of a user name that describes me any better.

Original poster
Normalisavariantofcrazy · 27/04/2014 14:52

You need a more positive one.

FabulouslyStrange would be a good one

OP posts:
EatShitDerek · 27/04/2014 14:57

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Pipbin · 27/04/2014 15:06

I read a while ago about a movement that is starting up non religious churches.
It's for people who have either lost or never had a faith. The idea is that it allows people to get together in a friendly place. There is a talk, effectively a secular sermon, some singing and then tea and cake afterwards.
It's all the pluses of a church service but without the god bit.

Rachie1986 · 27/04/2014 15:11

Where are you OP? I'm berkshire and go up church every week, you'd be very welcome at our church certainly.

When dh works weekends then church is usually the high point of my weekend for some company other than my 4month old dd!

EatShitDerek · 27/04/2014 15:14

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Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Eliza22 · 27/04/2014 15:19

I was lonely as a single mum, after my (then) DH left and was on my own for years until I met a lovely man. We've been married nearly 5 years now and I am again, terribly lonely.

He's away much of the week. My beautiful son (13 yr old) has ASD and OCD really annoys DH. I spend my weekends walking on egg shells and cannot wait for Monday mornings when all....is....still.

I'm like you UselessIdiot. Every day is pretty much the same and I can't tell my friends because I have to pretend everything's alright. For their sake. For my sake.

What I do do is run, Yoga and try to keep active.

It's very hard OP. I feel for you.

EatShitDerek · 27/04/2014 15:19

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Pipbin · 27/04/2014 15:27

Here is the atheist church: www.bbc.co.uk/news/magazine-21319945

Busymumto3dc · 27/04/2014 15:28

I would so have a bed day