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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

..to think that it's wrong that my daughter shouldn't have to stink of cigs?

87 replies

neiljames77 · 26/04/2014 11:13

She's got a job as a care assistant and a lot of the houses and flats she visits have smokers living there. One old woman in particular is a chain smoker, as is her daughter who is always there. They never even open a window. I said the laws of smoking in the workplace should still apply even if it's someone's home.
AIBU because some of them haven't got long left and see it as their only pleasure?

OP posts:
Cupid5tunt · 26/04/2014 11:51

Surely if she is a carer she has a uniform so it will only be her work clothes that smell of smoke. Can she not just stick them in the wash and jump in a shower when she get's home?

Personally I wouldn't give up a job because of this.

Original poster
neiljames77 · 26/04/2014 11:59

She hasn't got chance to change between different homes.

No, I don't "WANT" her to smell of cigs.

Quite a few of them smoke. Not just one.

TheSpottedZebra gave me what I needed to know. Thank you,

OP posts:
HaroldLloyd · 26/04/2014 12:06

I would suggest she speaks to her employers and asks for 5 mins extra and reserves a set of clothes for that house.

I'm sure she honks afterwards

JohnnyBarthes · 26/04/2014 12:15

mrsruffallo the thread title seriously twisted my melon Grin

OP - giving up her job over this would be daft. I think your daughter has to tolerate the smoking I'm afraid - it's only for short periods after all.

Catnuzzle · 26/04/2014 12:48

I'm actually quite shocked by how many people think the OP's daughter should just suck it up! Since when was it ok to insist someone who is providing a service should have cancerous gases forced upon them whilst doing their job? I know what the law says, but what about morals and ethics? I wouldn't dream of imposing a detrimental/physically harmful lifestyle choice on anyone who visited my home (not that I have any), it would appear I am in the minority, and I'm guessing that those who do not see it as a problem are probably the smokers?!

NurseyWursey · 26/04/2014 12:51

YABU it's their bloody home. Most of the people I used to visit had nothing, and no-one and smoking was their only pleasure and I'd be frigged if I dared deny them that!

As a non smoker it was unpleasant, but I was a guest in their home despite it being my job, so it never occurred to me to ask them to stop.

Lilaclily · 26/04/2014 12:52

Catnuzzle - but there is no solution, the law says people can smoke in their homes!

SantanaLopez · 26/04/2014 12:53

Never smoked in my life catnuzzle.

Would you tell someone that they could have a dog or a cat in their home if their nurse didn't like it? Or that they couldn't drink if the nurse didn't like the smell?

Smoking's disgusting, but it's legal.

Andrewofgg · 26/04/2014 12:53

YABU. The private home is just that, and making anyone's own home smoke-free by law would be a bridge too far.

NurseyWursey · 26/04/2014 12:54

catnuzzle Morals and ethics? Like the right to be able to do what one wants in their own home? People needing home care have already had many many things taken away from them. Their independence, their dignity in some cases..

And no I'm not a smoker, I just respected my clients. We're talking about people who need to have intrusion of their homes every day just for the most basic of tasks that they need help completing. They didn't chose this.

And I know from experience most carers just get there when they get there, so it's easier said than done to try and not have a cig before they come.

edamsavestheday · 26/04/2014 12:55

Catnuzzle, these are vulnerable people in their own homes.

ICanSeeTheSun · 26/04/2014 12:57

If they need a career because they can't get to the toilet how are the people able to get up and open a window or close it.

monicalewinski · 26/04/2014 13:06

I think you're going a bit ott over this tbh.

It's the smell you said she objected to - she doesn't like coming home smelling of cigarettes - so she is going to change jobs?

There are many jobs where you end up smelling yucky or getting your clothes dirty:

Chip shop
Abattoir
Bin man
Mechanic

Etc etc

If it is the passive smoking, then unfortunately there is nothing she can do as it is exempt, but the smell only is just a bit hysterical imo.

Caitlin17 · 26/04/2014 13:13

I feel very sorry for your daughter. She along with prison officers are amongst the few who are not protected. All I can suggest is she buys some cheap machine washable clothes solely for home visits and wears a headscarf over her hair.

NurseyWursey · 26/04/2014 13:14

When I was a carer before nursing I regularly came home smelling of PEE. But it gets to the point you can't smell it on yourself Blush

OddBoots · 26/04/2014 13:19

It's a really hard situation but I do have sympathy for your daughter, a friend's mother died of lung cancer a few years ago, she'd never smoked herself but was a home carer and several of her clients smoked and her lungs showed damage through passive smoking.

Caitlin17 · 26/04/2014 13:20

monica I'm a non-smoker. The smell of cigarette smoke is vile. I've never been in an abattoir but I have worked in a kitchen where there was a lot of frying done and had a very good friend who was a mechanic; neither of those came close.

Before the ban I avoided pubs as I hated the lingering smell,which on non washable clothes meant a trip to the dry cleaners.

BarbarianMum · 26/04/2014 13:20

The smell of pee, refuse or pets don't come with a risk of cancer though do they? Cigarette smoke does. Not really comparable.

littlewhitebag · 26/04/2014 13:22

I work in a job where i go into peoples homes and often come home stinking of smoke. I am always there in high stress situations and i never stop people from smoking even if they ask if it's okay for them to have a cigarette. My stock phrase is "It's your home, of course you can smoke". I don't like it but i wouldn't stop anyone smoking.

The only time i challenge this is if the family has a small child and the smoke is hanging heavily in the air but that is not for my sake but for the child.

Caitlin17 · 26/04/2014 13:26

Monica working in a situation where you are subject to passive smoking is bad for your health. A study by Dundee university showed a noticeable improvement in bar staff's health pre and post ban.This might be contrasted with working alone with a person of the opposite sex which is not a health risk. I recall you were far more sympathetic to the employee's position on that thread.

BelleateSebastian · 26/04/2014 13:27

YANBU, if you daughter spent every day being exposed to smoke for an hour for every working day of her life she would increase her risk of lung cancer quite significantly, they company she works for would be leaving themselves open to being sued for failing to 'protect' an employee from harm.

I have run a Domiciliary care company and we would, at the initial assessment/risk assessment, explain to clients that we would ask them not to smoke during carer visits, we did get some clients that queried it but once we explained that smoking was illegal in the workplace and that during a visit their home was a carers workplace then all but one client were absolutely fine with this.

Sirzy · 26/04/2014 13:31

I have never smoked and I hate smoking but seriously you can't dictate what people do in their homes.

Realisically anyones home could be visited by someone working at any point so you would be saying nobody can smoke in their home. Is it any fairer that a paramedic has to go into the home of a smoker than a carer?

Sirzy · 26/04/2014 13:32

belle you do realise that the interpration of the law you are telling clients is incorrect? See the earlier post which hightlights the actual law

Sparrowlegs248 · 26/04/2014 13:32

Can she just ask them to not smoke while she is there? Thats what I do and most don't mind. She will still get the smell but not so badly.

monicalewinski · 26/04/2014 13:35

Crikey, don't miss another golden opportunity to misquote me Caitlin (as I recall you did on the other thread that you mentioned).

At no point in my post did I say passive smoking should be acceptable - I said it is unfortunate that in this case the law exempts. I said that if it just the smell on her clothes that is bothering her then it is hysterical.

Please read my fucking posts if you are going to challenge them Caitlin, and please stop misquoting me.

Thank you.