to find my ds' behaviour abnormal and worrying?

[Nummer]

He is my only boy so I am a little scared to ask this in case I am completely off the mark. However I have spent a lot of time with sons of friends and relatives and they don't behave like my ds.

He will be 11 in a couple of weeks but quite young for his age in my opinion. The issue is that he is never "calm". He needs so much exercise and activity and even if we give him this he can't sit still or leave other people alone. He constantly makes unnecessary noise and annoys other people by poking them, tapping them, roaring in their ears.

He only plays loudly and wants to push everything to its limit. For example I took the dcs to a pool and he got so wound up he was shrieking, screaming and talking in a silly voice for ages afterwards. He often talks in a silly voice and acts the "clown". Other children are often annoyed by him.

His emotions are always extremely one or the other - so excited he's almost manic or so angry he's having a meltdown. He's rarely in the middle.

I don't want to be always checking his behaviour if this is a normal boy thing but I feel like I'm always nervous waiting for the next thing he's going to do. He gets really angry if told off and fights against obeying adults.

This isn't normal, is it?

I am thinking ADHD as well. Speak to your GP to get a referral.

Sorry, bloomin tablet.

if he's okay out of the family and at school then I'd say don't worry. He's saving all his naughtiness for you and is okay elsewhere. Pretty typical ime.

ime, you won't get much from NHS unless other adults (who have regular contact with him and regular contact with other children, so teachers, scout leader, football coach, childminder, etc.) back you up and confirm that he is A) strange and B) has significant problems or creates them for others. This is the threshold of need NHS/CAMHS will demand.

Our GP advised going private. Other MNers report that private ed-psych assessment costs £700(ish). I imagine that private counselling/CBT would cost at least £50/hour.

If your son behaves in the classroom the way he behaves with you he would certainly be referred to the Senco, Ed.psych etc. because his behaviour is disruptive and would impact on the rest of the class; it would definitely be mentioned to you however short a time he was in that school. I would discuss his behaviour with his teacher ASAP, and if it is not a problem at school, it is clearly a home issue, therefore visit your GP. Don't try home diagnosis; go to the experts.

I know someone who fosters children for Barnados. The children they get are very badly behaved and the LA fosters cannot cope with them.

They try to avoid medication by taking all the sugar and junk, including sweeteners, out of their diet.
The change in behaviour is always very positive.

It's not a complete answer but may be worth a try whilst waiting for a referral.

I dont think it i s normal boy behaviour really i would look into it more what does his school say it does sound like he has a sensory thing going on speak to his teacher asked for him to be referred to the educational phsycoligist or a padeatritian (spelling sorry)

My GP referred to CAHMS based on my request and observation of DD. Admittedly she was separately referred by school too.

I would suggest keeping a diary and noting down behaviour observed. Do also ask in school explicitly, do they think it is worth investigating. They may not have the expertise or money to refer themselves but might believe it is worth while. They will be asked to fill out questionnaires if referral goes ahead.

He sounds quite similar to my 8 year old. He has aspergers. Have you looked into that?

OP, yes, I agree with the others that you need to get a referral through your GP.

In the mean time, Ross Greene's Explosive Child and his website here are very effective in giving you the confidence to manage his behaviour so he has less meltdowns etc.

And head on over to the SN boards, they have a wealth of knowledge and are very supportive.

Thank you for all your comments. I have read The Explosive Child - I thought it was ok but seemed to involve revolving everything around the child which is difficult with others in the family. I mean, even if this is something ds cannot help, he still needs to learn to control himself as much as he can as when he's an adult society is not going to pander to him.

We are having homework battles today. He can't seem to get on with it, but refuses any guidance. I think I am going to have to accept that he will do it on his own and hand in a pile of rubbish. At least that way we avoid fighting, but it's so frustrating.

Sounds like my DS (soon to be 12) but school life is hell. Exclusions etc. Secondary had been dreading and we are going along the same lines. He has been on report pretty much every single week since joining. They said they have never seen anything like this in a year 7 (he is in a grammar school)...

HolidayCriminal - think you replied to one of my other posts about DS eating like a pig... mine too gets kicked out of all clubs... or i am always called in to talk about his behaviour when collecting

Paeditrician saw some years ago. Nothing. Going through referral again.

It is bloody tough!

Finally mine has just seen an ed psych.. but i don't think much of the report. Got to go into school on Tues to discuss it.........

I would go to the GP and ask for a referral to a paed, it does sound like ADHD.