to ask my nursery to assign another key worker?

[Varfalli34]

My DD is at a nice nursery that I am happy with. She is there five days but her key worker only works three. That means two days a week there is technically no one who is specifically there for her. She has been doing really well at potty training and never has accidents when at home or when her key worker is there. There are always multiple accidents on the other days (she is still in early days of it so needs lots of reminding etc - when key worker is not there she needs to go up to another adult and ask to go or just go herself which she's not quite ready for. She also gets v upset about accidents). I of course totally understand that there isn't time to give each child excessive attention and don't expect her to be totally pandered to but I feel like she is a bit lost when her key worker isn't there. For example this morning (v few children were there yet) was very quiet. My DD was feeling a bit insecure about me leaving for work and was in a room on her own. There was no one there to just say 'come on over here Mummy has to go to work now let's do something'. She is only 2, am I right to think it's fair enough to not just think 'oh get on with it' when she is still so little. Have two older children as well so don't think I am particularly precious about her and often tell her to get on with it in other circumstances.

I don't want to be a naggy parent as I think they all do a great job and I don't want to suggest that they aren't looking after my DD because she is happy. But I would like it if they could officially assign someone to technically be her 'key worker' those two days. I have mentioned it quite lightly a couple of times and her key worker has said that she'll ask the others to pay attention more but i hasn't come to anything. I think I need to get over it or be a bit more forceful and properly request that she has someone who is her official key worker on those two days.

What do you think? Genuinely not sure whether I am being a bit much here. Her best friend has also just left the nursery which I know she'll get over in two minutes but I am probably being a bit more sensitive as I know she really minds at the moment.

I would ask to change so she has constancy of care

Well, the nursery doesn't seem that nice if they couldn't even address this issue themselves. They should have assigned another key worker from the days the 'offical one' is not there from the start. Also, other members of the staff were supposed to give attention to your daughter regardless.

I think you should speak to to the manager and ask for someone else to be made aware if her on the other 2 days. I think it's unreasonable to change from the original one though. Are there any full time workers, or is everyone part time/shift working.

Presumably the nursery is own from 8 til 6, or possibly longer, which means that the nursery workers may not be on duty all day too. it's one of the downsides of a nursery, versus childminder.

If you feel she needs more of bond with one person, would you consider sending her to a childminder?

Just go in and ask how it works when a key worker isn't there because you are concerned about the number of accidents your dd has when her key worker isn't working. Talk to the manager or another member of staff rather than the key worker so you can be sure that the message is getting to the relevant people.

When I worked in a nursery, no one worked all five days, so the there was a system where each key worker had a kind of buddy colleague who would watch over their key children, but they would still be responsible for the paperwork of their own key children on working days. Even then it was very flexible because children make up their own minds which adult they like best and would rather be around, and all staff were responsible for all children anyway.

I think the main thing you need to work on is your dds confidence, and ability to tell other adults if she needs to use the toilet and needs help. Personally, I don't believe a child is ready to be toilet trained if they can't tell someone when they need to go, or use child friendly toilets on their own when their wearing easy clothes to manage.

2 days is nearly half the week, yanbu.

If it was one or 2 afternoons fair enough but your dd is going without a key worker for nearly half the week.

It's not enough for the others to be asked to keep an eye on her as it's obviously not working.

She was with a wonderful childminder from very little but then had to change as we moved. Were temporarily with a quite nice childminder but just wasn't quite right. I was really glad when a space opened up at the nursery. I think she is really happy there and am really glad to have her interacting with lots of other children.

There are two people who work full time (5 days all day) and am a bit confused as to why one of them wasn't assigned to my DD originally. Would seem to make sense as there are very few full time children there.

I wouldn't want to change key worker completely I don't think as she has a nice bond with her current one.

Am I doing myself in if I talk to a 'superior'? As though I am being snitchy and complainy? I don't want the nursery workers disliking me and I know that means they won't listen to me about things in future.

i think the other staff do give attention to a degree and if my DD went over and tried to engage with them I'm sure they'd respond. I think they just don't actively go over and say hello DD would you like to come with me and do x

Our setting does "co-keyworkers" so each child has a primary and secondary keyworker. I got the impression this is the new standard.

I don't think it's unreasonable of you to insist that she has a named first point of contact every day, if not every minute of every day. And that's regardless of the toilet training issue.

It sounds understaffed. Are they right on their ratios?

They sound rubbish. Was she really in a room on her own, though, when you dropped her off? What were the staff doing?
They should have a full complement of staff there as soon as it opens, whether all the children have arrived or not.

I took her into another room and asked one of the staff to play with her. A similar thing happened yesterday as well. I wouldn't have obviously left her feeling a bit sad in the other room. The staff were doing some set up (it was 45 mins after opening though). As soon as the other member of staff said was engaged she was totally fine and happy to say goodbye to me, so I don't really think she has confidence issues. She settled really well into the nursery and they are always commenting on his sociable she is. I think it's normal to sometimes not be keen on your mum leaving in the morning isn't it!?

They may be slightly understaffed. I do occasionally notice slightly off things. Have seen a little boy playing unsupervised with proper scissors at pick up before. Watched for quite a long time to see if anyone was keeping an eye or had just nipped off for a minute and didn't seem to be!

A child should never be in a room on their own at a nursery. They have incredibly strict child to adult ratios which should be observed all the time.

Is it usual for a child to be on their own? When you say they're understaffed, is this all the time? Or the odd day?

Mostly it seems there are quite a lot of children but I don't see things seeming out of control or anything. Other than what I have mentioned my DD seems v happy.

These are the ratios. It really isn't to do with things being out of control, there are CP issues and all sorts.

Staff ratios as follows: 1:3 children under 2 years, 1:4 children aged 2 years, 1:8 children aged 3–7 year

Yes, so since DD is 2 there should be no more than 4 children per adult in her room. That's busy, but she should never be ignored.

(assuming all the children are the same age)

I don't know why you even have to ask - its your child's well being you are concerned about and you are paying the nursery to give her proper care.

Why on earth would you hesitate to raise any concerns ? If thy are a good well run nursery they would want to know if a child was struggling or unhappy

You spoke to the key worker, but nothing changed. I think it is time to speak to a more senior person, either team leader or nursery manager depending on how things are organized. You don't have to be stroppy, just firm that it would be in your daughter's best interests to have a named point of contact for the other 2 days.

As far as drop off goes, at that age my DD started most days with a cuddle from a staff member, but not usually her key worker as she was often on a later shift. Your nursery sounds a bit unwelcoming, but it should be fairly simple to ask your DD what activity she feels like doing & hand her over to the appropriate staff member.

Also, don't underestimate her friend leaving, whether my DD is clingy or runs off without a backward glance depends almost entirely on whether she spots one of her special friends when she arrives! Another reason to ask them to keep a special eye out for her at the moment.