My sister keeps stealing my pics...

[AmberSweet]

Ok maybe 'stealing' is a little harsh but I couldn't think of another way to word it. Lately my sister has taken it upon herself to either copy photos from my facebook page (very private account, only my friends can view anything on there) or ones that I send to her privately and post them on her own facebook page, twitter account, Instagram etc etc.

She's 21 btw I don't know if that's relevant but didn't want to drip feed.

It could be anything really. Pics I have taken on holiday and of when I got engaged. Some random ones of dp and I as well but mostly (and this is the real problem) ones of my Ds (the most recent being one of Ds kissing my baby bump).

I know she doesn't do it in a malicious way and isn't a weirdo trying to steal my identity but I've mentioned several times now that it annoys me yet tonight she did it again! I very calmly asked her not to do it again as it is really driving me mad and she got the massive hump with me and started saying that she would delete everything connected to me from her pages etc being very overly dramatic and basically feeling sorry for herself.

She's gone so far with it that now I feel bad and like I'm in the wrong. Am I in the wrong? I can handle being told I am and I know that some will just say that if I don't want things broadcast then I shouldn't put it on facebook but I feel like as they are my photos that's my choice and copying them is just downright weird? And there's also the ones I don't even upload but she chooses to publish anyways!

Block her on FB.

I honestly feel like if I did that she'd still find a way to get at my pics but then I wouldn't know she was doing it! (Love your username btw!)

Don't feel bad, keep repeating that you don't want her to do it. If she chooses to get the hump then tough shit.

Also yy to blocking her on FB even if just for a while.

I think that some folk are simply not particularly private and live out every tedious detail of their lives on social media, and seriously cannot identify with other's concept of keeping their 'private life' private.

Your sis probably felt attacked, resulting in the overly dramatic response to your letting her know how you felt. It's right to let her know how you feel.

Perhaps you could gently let her know that she is seriously running the risk of you actively never including her as a member of your private life if she cannot respect your feelings.

Some people, especially around her age, just need you to really spell it out for them.

You could put her on a limited profile on Facebook? There's an option somewhere for telling Facebook to let certain people only see certain types of updates. They can't tell you're restricting them and you can still see their profiles image etc. I don't think you are being unreasonable at all!

Some people just think it is okay to take, take, take. That's the problem with technological advancements- everything is so accessable and on demand people just seem to think it is okay to take what they want.

It is akin to your sister sneaking into your photo album at home, photocopying them and showing them to people who don't know you (or even her)

I agree with blocking her as she is not to be trusted.

Thank you for the replies! I think what's prompted me to start noticing it more is in the last few months DP and I have spoken a lot about when dc2 is born and privacy etc. We both only have one sibling each (both have a sister) and while not exactly the same age I suppose lifestyle wise they are similar. Neither have dc of their own and seem to live through ours? We've had to make it very clear that we don't want status updates the minute I go into labour (currently 38 weeks ) and the minute the baby is born. We want to do things in our own time and outwardly they seem to understand but dp in particular is very worried that actually they'll just ignore what we've said and he's quite hot headed about these things so I can see it turning into a massive row if they do which is the last thing I want just after pushing a miniature person out of myself!

I don't know if YABU or not really as I can see this from both sides.

I'm just glad I'm too old to have parents who would have put my photos online because as a child, I used to cringe with embarrassment whenever my Mum used to get the family album out.

Even now, I know tons of kids who hate their school photos for example but yet they have parents who insist on putting them online and I think it's a bit of a violation really, although I'm sure 99% of parents will disagree with me.

I can understand that you kind of feel 'helpless' in being able to control what your sister does with the pics, but just imagine how your kids will feel when they're old enough to know you put them on the world wide web in the first place?

Are you ok with your friends and family uploading pics of you that you haven't approved or given your permission for?

I totally understand your point of view Worra. For me it's more because 90% of my family and my best friends all live in either the country I grew up in or other side of the uk, my dad being the most significant of these. I like to post pictures of my Ds and how much he is growing, things he has achieved or very occasionally maybe a status of something he's said or done but I'm very selective with all of this, I'm definitely not one to post every two minutes about him or post pics of him eating his dinner etc!

I don't think personally that he would be embarrassed by any of my pictures but I could be wrong and I'd be prepared to hold my hands up to it when he gets older. Although some of the photos my own dm shows people now of me when I was little are horrendous so that's probably why I'm so selective!

Unlike other photo albums you create, you can choose an audience for individual photos in your Timeline Photos and Mobile Uploads albums. Each time you post a new photo, you pick who sees that photo using the audience selector.

Would the above be useful, just remove her from who sees your photo's?

It would be great prudence but she stills lives with my dm and I know that the minute my dm sees a new photo etc she'd mention it to my sister. Not in an informative way but a 'Aww isn't that lovely' type of thing so then she'd know and would just kick off again!

I hope that after the chat I had with her earlier she won't be doing it again anyways but I suppose I could be wrong

Let her kick off, and if she asks why your mum has the photo and not her, you can explain again tht she's barred until she commits to respecting your privacy.

I think it's harsh to say that your sister "lives through your children". She's their aunt, she's excited about them and proud of them. When most of life is quite dull, it's nice that these emotions come through. I understand that you're annoyed about her removing your privacy (although I personally don't think that her putting your photos on her social media is the end of the world) but I think she is probably motivated by her love for you and your kids.

I would restrict what she can see on your FB account so she can only see what is available to the public. I've done that with a few people.

Restrict your mother too if she's going to allow her access to your photos.

But Chrome she IS living her life through my family. She has no ambition to do anything for herself when at 21 she could have the world at her feet if she wanted?

The problem I have with her taking my photos is that she doesn't ask and even when she knew how I felt about it she did it again anyways and also placed them on sites that I hadn't and I have no idea what her security settings are like. I have my reasons for not wanting people to see pics of my son which she knows all to well and I know for a fact she doesn't do it maliciously. She's showing off because she loves us but at the same time whatever her motivation it's still quite selfish because it's for her benefit not for mine or my family.