To not want to go out with his friends every week?!

[leedsgirl231]

I want some ME time.
I want candle lit baths, coconut butter body massages, my dinner made for me, and a nice bottle of wine, then 10 orgasms in a row (the last one happens a lot, mind, not faulting anything!)

here's the story.
Every thursday his mates message me (he has no phone) to ask me what I'm doing with SO on friday night. I've been working all week and I want some pampering. But they find it very strange that i we want to stay in on a friday night. They think he's whipped, but I just want to feel special. Attractive, sexy, whatever. The things I've listed we can't do. I can't lay on his bed naked getting a massage because of people walking in! (live with parents). Can't do a candle lit bath because he thinks its nasty to get in a bath with someone because you're sitting in both your own dirt, and also won't leave the water in for me (done that all my life at home, don't see the problem with it). He's a good cook but we can't afford to buy our own food to make OR have a candlelit dinner as there's no table, But I wouldn't mind a film and a takeaway instead of going to his mate's house (where they all get rat-arsed and i feel really left out)

Am I BU to think that I should want romance? Are his friends BU to think that we can't have a bit of romance because everything should be centered around drink?

I just don't like feeling left out. When we're out I want to be dancing, having a good time, not watching them playing ps3!!

Why doesn't he see his friends Friday night & you see him Saturday night ?

How old are you all? This sounds quite teenager-y, apart from the fact your SO hasn't got a phone. Why doesn't he get one, and conduct his own social life, so you don't end up having to act as social secretary for him and his friends?

You sound pretty discontented with the status quo, but you've listed a lot of other reasons why you can't have the kind of Friday night you want, which have nothing to do with his friends. I assume you live with parents for economic reasons, but is there some reason why you can't afford to buy your own food, given that you work? Also, there are other nights in the week - why not stay at home and have your bath solo on Friday, leaving him to see his friends, and then do something together on Saturday?

I appreciate that watching a bunch of rat-arsed men playing computer games isn't a dream night out, but presumably you could go out with your own friends instead...? And you can't make someone want to have a bath with you!

How old are you both?

I can see both points of view, to be honest.

If you have nowhere private to go then the candlelit baths etc are a bit unlikely. No reason you can't do a nice massage etc if you are allowed to stay in each others rooms (can't be too off putting to be in parental house if you are having 10 orgasms at a time).

Why do you want his second-hand bathwater anyway? It's a practical money saving thing, not a romantic one? He's not getting the point about sharing a bath, it's not about a dirty person needing to get clean, quite the opposite - you should both be clean and intending to get a bit dirty.

oops ran away too quickly.
If you can afford a takeaway - you can afford to buy ingredients to cook a meal.

But you are not being unreasonable to want to go out and have some fun instead of watching his mates playing computer games. Maybe Fridays you should both do your own thing, and have Saturdays as a date night.

How can you afford a takeaway but not food to cook?

If he can afford to get 'rat arsed' then there is no reason why he can't afford to buy food. Utter tosh.

Doesn't he have a mind of his own? What does he say about what he wants to do on a Friday? Does he not feel able to say to his friends 'me and Leeds are doing something on our own tonight'?

It does all sound a bit teenage as Burren says. Premier Inn have a 4-day sale on atm - you could book a £29 room for a Friday somewhere near you and have your takeaway there. It'd probably not be much different in cost to the constant 'getting rat-arsed'.

You could shower together, doesn't need to beca bath , but that's a pretty lame excuse any way, never known a man turn down a shared bath

Oh, haha. we've been together for ages, we're nearly 20. and it's just wanting a night in like it is on the films, im a hopeless romantic like that :D
The premier inn thing sounds good.
I realised how stupid I was sounding when I posted this. We are quite young. I just thought it'd be nice, thats all. I never knew any woman who didn't want a film-like romance. and yes we could do the own thing on friday, together on saturday thing. I realised I worded this wrongly. I went off on one and sounded like a div in the process. Apologies.

Don't apologise! You don't sound like a div at all; what you're describing sounds very familiar from my late teens/early 20s. Twenty years on and I definitely don't get any massages, pampering or multiple orgasms these days, but i do remember a period when I did.

I think the premier inn sounds like a great idea as a lot of the problems are because he's still living at home. But I'd definitely suggest a shared shower rather than bath. I think baths in movies must be bigger, because in real life it just results in discomfort, undignified slipping and squirming and a whole lot of water on the floor. Showers just get steamy. Very steamy.

And take advantage of being the phone owner and as such, in charge of the diary. If you don't want to meet up with his mates next weekend, just tell them he 's not available.

Eee don't apologise for acting your age, I think posters were just wanting to clarify your not both in your 40s!

Yanbu to want some time alone with him instead of with his friends. What does he think about that? Can he not get his own phone, even just a pay as you go one so that his friends can ring him directly?

Any chance you can get yourselves away somewhere cheap and cheerful for a mini break?