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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To accept this house offer?

56 replies

tiredbutstillsmiling · 24/04/2014 14:55

Bit if background: house been on market for nearly 2 years. Am now on with 3rd estate agent after doing around 2k worth of home improvements. We bought the house in 2008 for 152k and on market for 140k - have lowered price 3 times also.

Anyway today we had an offer for 132k. Have rejected it but I think prospective buyers will offer 135k which I want to accept but DH is adamant he wants rhe asking price as we'd originally purchased house for 152k.

I want to move. Our house is small, we have a toddler and I'm heavily pregnant. Also primary schools in our area are poor and I want DD to have the opportunity to go to a good school.

DH's argument is that even if we move we wouldn't be guaranteed a school place in a good school - we checked last year's acceptance records an the farthest student distance from the good schools was 0.8 miles. He also says this offer has come being on market with new estate agents after only 3 weeks and we should wait and see if we have any other viewings.

What do I do? I feel this is one time I can't compromise as I'm not doing this for me but for creating a nice home for our DCs.

Would love any advice or arguments I can place to DH!

OP posts:
whydidyoudothat · 24/04/2014 15:43

I personally would reject this offer but say you would meet in the middle at £136,000 and take it from there, have you asked your agent what they recommend?

allmycats · 24/04/2014 15:44

The only cost to consider is the price it will be to move. If you sell and buy in todays market you pay todays market price, if you buy and sell in a years time then you still pay the market prices on that day. Your husband is being a twit I am afraid to say
You sell @ say 140,000 and you buy @ 170,000 the price to move is 30,000

You sell at 150,000 and you buy at 180,000 then the price to move is still the same 30,000.

Original poster
tiredbutstillsmiling · 24/04/2014 15:44

spare I'm going to use that argument and those figures! I tried saying that earlier but he is adamant people are getting asking prices now as the estate agent told us he had sold 2 in our area for the asking price.

Not really a case of DH getting the "final say" but how can I force a move if he is so against it? We don't usually argue as usually see things from same perspective but we're at polar opposites here - think it's because DH is very financially driven and is fixated on price whereas I'm just picturing our future in a bigger home with a kitchen I can potter around in, a big garden for DD with a trampoline and swing, a bathroom with a bath I can lie in ... What a dream!

OP posts:
Original poster
tiredbutstillsmiling · 24/04/2014 15:47

whydid that's what I'm hoping. Have rejected 132 but I'm happy to accept the middle ground. Unfortunately DH still sees that as a 18k loss.

allmy I will argue your figures too. Thanks!

OP posts:
whois · 24/04/2014 15:49

You haven't 'lost' the money because the house you're buying has gone down too since 2008. As long as you're not thinking of moving to london or anything!

sonjadog · 24/04/2014 15:57

I sold my house at a large loss, but it was absolutely worth it. The strain of not selling was having a huge effect on my mental health. Being able to put the whole thing behind me and get on with my life was worth the larger mortgage. If you know you can afford it, I wouldn't hesitate to accept the offer.

worldgonecrazy · 24/04/2014 15:59

It can be hard to break the imagery of "loss". I had to drop my house price by 20K to sell it, and DH was convinced that I'd "lost" 20K. The reality is that the 20K was only ever imaginery in the first place, so I haven't lost anything at all.

Original poster
tiredbutstillsmiling · 24/04/2014 16:01

sonjadog that's how I feel. For the past 2 years I've felt the house has been "stifling" me and now holds some pretty bad memories - I suffered a MC here last year and then ended up with health problems that warranted serious surgery. I just want a clean break.

OP posts:
minionmadness · 24/04/2014 16:10

I sold my first house for a 12K loss on what I paid for it. I was in negative equity. I had to have a 125% mortgage to but my next house... however I sold that for a 40K profit.

It's all relative. If you wait until prices rise you will have to pay more for your next house.

Original poster
tiredbutstillsmiling · 24/04/2014 16:35

Update: buyers have come back with offer of 135k. Unfortunately this has strengthened DH's argument as "obviously they like the property to raise offer so quickly so should hold out for more".

Aaaaaah!!!

OP posts:
WhoNickedMyName · 24/04/2014 16:40

As a buyer, if I'd seen that your house had been on the market for 2 years and you'd lowered the price 3 times, then I'd think you were desperate to sell and I'd hold my nerve on the offer of 135k.

There are so many houses to choose from in that price range too.

I think your DH is seriously misguided.

Igggi · 24/04/2014 16:40

He cannot know if this is their highest bid or not. Is he less interested in moving than you? Doing it before the baby comes seems so sensible..

Fathertedfan · 24/04/2014 16:43

We've bought various things over the years and sold at a loss. It's the bigger picture that's important. If this is what your house is worth, then that's what it's worth. First loss is the best loss, I believe.

Original poster
tiredbutstillsmiling · 24/04/2014 16:48

I need the whole of MN in my house right now to so an intervention on DH. Why are men so stubborn?!

OP posts:
nochips · 24/04/2014 16:56

We bought a house at the height of prices for £80 k,and spent £30 k on it. Then there was a crash an we sold it at £84 k. BUT, as you have already identified, the house we then bought was £130 k, and if everything had risen then we could never have afforded it. So, on paper we made a loss, but in reality got a much bigger house than we could have otherwise bought. Just recently we got a valuation on it as we have found our dream house... we still could not afford to buy the house we currently own.

At about the same time, my BIL refused to sell his house for less than he bought is for. He is still there.

overmydeadbody · 24/04/2014 16:57

I wish I lived in areas like this where houses are struggling to sell and going for less than the asking price.

Round here they are sold on the day of the viewing (always an open house) and always for at least £5k over the asking price, sometimes as much as £30k over.

It is madness.

MexicanSpringtime · 24/04/2014 17:01

The house you are moving will probably have been equally or more affected by the drop in house prices, so you probably aren't really losing money

Preciousbane · 24/04/2014 17:02

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Peekingduck · 24/04/2014 17:02

Your DH is being an idiot, as everyone says above. £135 for a house marketed at £140k is a reasonable offer. I don't know what you can do if he doesn't have the brain capacity to understand the figures on this one. What's important is to be able to buy the house that you want, which is clearly an improvement for you. He's gambling with your future, and what for? Nothing really. I don't know what you can do to change his mind, he's an idiot, and being pretty selfish as well.

MomOfTwoGirls2 · 24/04/2014 17:06

Well, house prices are going up. So while you wait for another offer, your next house may well go up even more.

I'm with you on this, but have no idea how to persuade a stubborn man who thinks he is doing best for his family...

HolgerDanske · 24/04/2014 17:13

It's true, people do really go a bit mad when it comes to house prices.

Either he really doesn't understand the concept of economics and changing values of property or he has some other reason for sabotaging a sale, which he may not even be conscious of. He also may not understand how strongly you feel about having a new start.

I hope you will resolve this soon.

Original poster
tiredbutstillsmiling · 24/04/2014 17:17

Thank you MN! I showed DH this thread, he spoke to estate agents and they felt it was acceptable offer and begrudgingly he's accepted!

I'm so happy I'm crying!

OP posts:
ajandjjmum · 24/04/2014 17:22

We were in exactly your position OP when our DC were very small. We decided to take a loss on the sale of our home, because we wanted to find our 'forever' home. We ended up doing a house swap, and the vendors were very fair, and reduced the cost of our new house accordingly. 16 years later - it was worth making the compromise.

everlong · 24/04/2014 17:33

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Artistic · 24/04/2014 17:34

Look at the opportunity cost along with the financial cost. If you wait to gain a few k in price, you lose so many opportunities - to move before the baby comes (and it would be So difficult then), to research & find better schools, to get your next house cheaper than whatever it's going to be few months later & above all to grab the new mortgage at dirt cheap interest rates which are set to disappear by end if this year or early next year! When you add all this up its worth more than 5k!!

Good luck!