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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to not want my fil smoking whilst i have a chest infection

15 replies

chocoholic05 · 23/04/2014 18:04

I hope I don't sound hugely ungrateful. I don't mean to be. Im not well with a chest infection. My boys school is just over a Mile away 1.3 to be precise. I didn't feel well enough to walk them to school today and my dh needed our car. So I was going to get a taxi. Dh wanted to ring his parents to ask for help I wasn't keen. Anyway this morning my mil rang saying I hear you want a lift. I said do I? That was because I was momentarily thrown! Anyway it turns out dh who starts work v early rang them and asked. So I agrees. Fil came round at 810 and said I'll wait outside and have a cigerette. He then insisted I came with him because the boys had to much for him to manage alone. Guitar, pe kits, lunch boxes. Book bags etc. He reeked of smoke. And he set me off coughing.

This afternoon he did the same in reverse. He ypicked me up as there's too much to carry on his own. He reeked of smoke. I got off coughing and I found it hard to stop. He said mil has a cough just like that. As soon as we got out the car he started to smoke. I said I'll go on ahead as it'll set me off again. (After all did it need two of us) ! Ok he said! Next,thing I knew he'd caught up with me still smoking. He carried on outside the school gates. Now please don't get me wrong I am grateful I didn't have to walk etc. I don't feel well and it was nice of him but was all the smoking and both of us coming to pick up really necessary?

OP posts:
fanoftheinvisibleman · 23/04/2014 18:10

I hate smoking but if it isn't on your property and someone else is doing you a favour then YABU imo. If you don't like it then politely decline and get a taxi.

AnyFucker · 23/04/2014 18:12

yabu

motherofmonster · 23/04/2014 18:15

So he didn't actually smoke in the car while you were there, but just smelled of smoke? He stood outside and smoked and you were still unhappy? Yes it does sound like yabvvur...and ungrateful tbh

chocoholic05 · 23/04/2014 18:17

Ok I am ready to concede I probably am. I told dh that I wasn't keen on fil to do this as I had a feeling it would happen. I told him not to yesterday. However dh didn't want me to get a taxi that's why he rang pil.

OP posts:
chocoholic05 · 23/04/2014 18:19

He smoked while I.was there this afternoon after we got out the car. But I feel bad I sound ungrateful I concede I am probably being unreasonable. Put it down to feeling rotten! :(

OP posts:
motherofmonster · 23/04/2014 18:21

But did he only smoke outside while you were there or in a enclosed space while you were with him?

chocoholic05 · 23/04/2014 18:22

Meant I told dh not to ask yesterday!

OP posts:
chocoholic05 · 23/04/2014 18:24

He smoked outside with me there. I did suggest I go on ahead he said ok but caught up with me still smoking.

OP posts:
WooWooOwl · 23/04/2014 18:44

YABU, but it's ok to be a bit unreasonable when you're feeling shitty.

chocoholic05 · 23/04/2014 18:46

Yes ans I have conceded I am. In record time for mums net too I think!

OP posts:
sykadelic · 23/04/2014 19:04

No I don't think YABU actually.

Smokers don't realise how disgusting they smell and how it affects other people.

Honestly after the first coughing fit I would have stopped and told him that you'd get all the gear if he could wait over there as the smoke was triggering your coughing.

sykadelic · 23/04/2014 19:06

To add - accepting a favour doesn't mean that you have to tolerate poor behaviour and/or treatment. It doesn't mean you should be rude either, but it doesn't mean you have to grin and bear it.

LadyMaryLikesCake · 23/04/2014 19:11

YANBU. It it sticks to clothes, making them stink. It's also not nice when the breeze blows it into your face. You need to tell them that you've got tomorrow sorted, then call a cab. Don't tell your DH, he's trying to help you by asking them but if it makes you feel worse then it's not really helping.

My father used to smoke. I had a barking cough for at least 6 years before I moved out. After I left it cleared up. Could explain why your mil has a cough Sad I don't think people realise just how much it affects others. Ds is asthmatic and smoke sets it off. I don't smoke but if we're stuck behind someone with a cigarette when we're out he ends up coughing and choking.

I hope you're feeling better quickly Thanks

AnyFucker · 23/04/2014 19:13

choco, you are allowed to be a leetle bit unreasonable when you are poorly Smile

NurseyWursey · 23/04/2014 19:13

YABU but I do sympathise and hope you're better soon!

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