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AIBU?

to put up a sign

19 replies

coolcookie · 23/04/2014 13:44

So we have 3dc. I work very part time. Dh very full time. I do all the housework and most say 95% childcare.
Last night I cooked for me and dc and cleaned kitchen and did bedtime. Dh was too tired to anything again apart from make a snack and leave crumbs, a knife and a wrapper on the freshly cleaned worktop.
I feel like making a sign saying please leave the kitchen as you found it.
Aibu

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coolcookie · 23/04/2014 13:45

I have tried talking to him. It works for abit. Than he is back to usual.

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Girlwithnotattoos · 23/04/2014 13:45

No absolutely yanbu

BIWI · 23/04/2014 13:46

Why don't you try being 'too tired' to do the things the DH might like you to do for him?

CoffeeTea103 · 23/04/2014 13:47

Do you cook for him too?

TheRealMaryMillington · 23/04/2014 13:50

did he do this just the once
or every single relentless fricking day?
just the once = forgivable

A sign might be a touch pa, why not ramp it up and put his dirty dishes and rubbish in his work bag? I have done this to DH before. The point was taken.

coolcookie · 23/04/2014 13:52

Most days recently. Seems to have changed since birth ds3.

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coolcookie · 23/04/2014 13:54

The other day he left an empty lager bottle lid and opener on side. When I challenged him he claimed he didn't know which bin to put them in.

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coolcookie · 23/04/2014 13:56

At weekends we take turns to cokk, during the week no as I have to eat early due to digestive issues. Also eat different foods.

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coolcookie · 23/04/2014 13:57

Cook ha ha

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BettySwollocksandaCrustyRack · 23/04/2014 13:59

when he does his meals does he generally wash up after himself and stuff like that? Dunno, sounds pretty trivial to me, well the things you have said anyway. Chuck a lager can in the fridge, throw the bottle opener in the draw must equate to about 10 seconds. Yes, I understand it's bloody annoying and why oh why can't they just do it but not really worth arguing over and falling out over.

But, I don't know enough about his other habits to judge.

BettySwollocksandaCrustyRack · 23/04/2014 14:00

Lager can in the bin....not fridge!

redcaryellowcar · 23/04/2014 14:13

sorry to go against the grain, but if this is not usual yabu, my dh works long hours, and there are occasions when he comes in makes food and a mess and leaves it, it does drive me crazy but i try to cut him a little slack. he does often help unload the dishwasher on the days when he is not exhausted.

m0therofdragons · 23/04/2014 14:15

Wow, we have 3dc, and both work (me part time). I cook and dh washes/loads dishwasher etc. We're both tired but jobs need doing!

m0therofdragons · 23/04/2014 14:17

Oh and we have a mini Dyson in the kitchen for getting shelf crumbs so no excuse. Dh doesn't clean as well as I'd like but I've decided I don't care anymore, didn't marry him to be a cleaner as long as he doesn't expect me to be a1950s house wife :)

CaptChaos · 23/04/2014 14:21

Instead of the 'please leave the kitchen as you found it' sign, you could make one which states that it is the maid's night off?

Maybe stop doing his washing for him for a few days?

nowahousewife · 23/04/2014 14:22

Don't know what to suggest OP, mine's not too bad but it's taken over 20 years of training. The thing that used to grind me down was that he'd cheerfully do whatever I ask him but the fact was I'd have to ask him, he'd never notice things himself.

A bit more proactive these days but we both have our limits; I won't do rubbish/recycling while he won't iron!

iK8 · 23/04/2014 14:24

I would photograph the mess and then email him at work.

Disclaimer: I may be a teensy bit bonkers

EyelinerQueen · 23/04/2014 14:25

I think that leaving passive aggressive signs is a bad idea and not how adults in a functioning relationship communicate.

Tell him clearly that it annoys you and ask him to stop.

It's a running joke in our house that when DP makes toast it looks like he did it by headbutting the bread in and out of the toaster and applying the butter with his nose.

But he makes it for me every morning along with a brew after getting up first and sorting the dog before he goes to work so I don't mind taking an extra minute of my full day at home to clear up his mess.

coolcookie · 23/04/2014 15:50

When he cooks he normally leaves a mess. He maybe loads dishwasher once every 2 weekends.
The thing id he doesn't make alowances for my tiredness or sciatica flare ups.just feel unappreciated.

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