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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To tell him to pi** off!!

7 replies

theonewithnoname · 23/04/2014 00:06

Argh I'm absolutely fuming right now.

DD's father is a prat. He really is.

Over the last few weeks he has been pushing me a lot for more and more contact. He already saw DD for 2 full days a week (his days off) at my house. DD is only 4 months old and ebf so that is why contact is at my house at present.

Anyway, he said 2 full days (from 8am - 7pm) are not enough. I said fine, I understand - how about you come in the evenings before she goes to bed so you can kiss her goodnight etc. He moaned and said that still wasn't enough, why can't he stay overnight etc. i said no, end of conversation. Anyway, he starts coming round each evening to say goodnight to DD, so for an hour or so after work. Soon started turning up 30 mins late each time knowing full well what time she goes to bed, therefore ruining her routine.

I asked him to be more considerate as she is a baby and is very sensitive to any changes, and bedtime is something that we really have down to a T right now.

All of a sudden he has started texting really nasty things saying I am bipolar, disgusting, unstable etc. I think he is trying to set the scene for getting residence of DD. I realise that sounds extreme but I honestly think this is what he is doing.

I couldn't bear to lose my daughter.

I am a new mum, tired at the best of times, and he seems to be thriving on winding me up, scaring me and basically stressing me out.

WIBU to ask for advice please? I have no idea how to handle this.

OP posts:
bragmatic · 23/04/2014 00:38

Keep the texts, consult a lawyer.

macdoodle · 23/04/2014 00:40

Do not engage, do NOT let him come to you house, get legal advice.

TooWetToWoo · 23/04/2014 00:41

I seriously doubt you'd lose your daughter but unless he is dangerous then he will get access to her. Totally agree with bragmatic about keeping all the texts and definitely look into seeing a solicitor.

Susy32 · 23/04/2014 00:48

He is trying to manipulate the situation and make you doubt yourself. In behaving in this way - not turning up on time etc he is proving himself to be an unfit parent by not putting his daughter's needs first. You have shown yourself to be more than reasonable in letting him have regular and frequent access to his daughter. You must seek legal advice and, if the messages persist, involve the police.

BitchPeas · 23/04/2014 00:52

Keep the texts.
Do not respond empti

eightandthreequarters · 23/04/2014 00:53

I doubt he's trying to get to her. He's trying to get to you.

Keep all texts. Print them out, put them in a file. Find a solicitor. You should sort out precisely defined times and places when he can see her (not stopping by your home of an evening to ruin your night). Stop giving in to ridiculous demands.

You need legal advice and a strict contact schedule.

BitchPeas · 23/04/2014 00:54

Keep the texts
Do not respond emotionally, just factual and about your daughter ie:

DD's bedtime routine starts at x o clock. Please be here before then to kiss her goodnight and spend time with her.

If he's late. Don't let him in.

Ebf babies under 1 are rarely given overnights with the non resident parent, so don't panic.

Just keep calm.

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