to find ditherers annoying

[drxerox]

I was queueing in a national trust tea room, moving glacially slowly, as ever. In front of me was a woman who, when she was actually served, faffed around choosing a drink and a cake, as though she hadn't been standing in front of the cakes and the boards listing the drinks for a good 5 minutes.she was totally oblivious to the queue behind her and dithered around comparing the cakes as though she'd never seen them in her life. It seems to happen all the time, and it's always women. Why can't they just make their minds up?

My grandparents not only do the leaving dither dance, but block the exits with their mobility aids to prevent escape.

GM blocks one exit with her Zimmer and GD blocks the other with his. To enable escape one has to listen to and consider all the random crap that hoarder GD no longer has room for but will not throw away useful items that one day might come in handy and agree to revoke one. in my bin

Then wait for hours while GD finds random crap gift. The dither dance moves to next exit where process is repeated while GM empties out of date food into my possession.

Regarding ditherers on the road, I can at least give them a toot with my 110db airhorn. Particularly the fucking idiot on the Euston Road yesterday who took out a map and looked at it through a completw red-green-red light change.

Oh, god yes.

This is DH. He'll suggest we go out somewhere, so I (like a normal person) get my shoes and my coat and my purse ... and then, you see, I am ready to go. Is he ready, having suggested this? Is he fuck. He needs five minutes to get his shoes on, find this, find that, and then he bloody sits down as if to suggest he's been waiting for me.

This made me incandescent until I noticed that everyone in his family does it, the sitting down for a moment before you go out. Apparently it is a Russian thing.

I also can't stand tourists who wander around smiling brightly then look so hurt when you step in front of their camera/decline to offer them the guided tour/fail to be terribly, terribly excited by their tenuous connection to Famous Shit In This Town.

I will see your 'ditherer' and raise you a 'fanny abouter'. They are similar to the ditherer but (IMHO) even more annoying. These are the people that make decisions firmly, only to spin out the process of getting ready/leaving/executing decision to ridiculous lengths. This mornings decision by my DP to take our children out with his Mum and then see a friend. All decided yesterday, clear and easy right? No, No my friends, first one must fanny about.

1. check weather
2. dress kids
3. wonder if weather can be trusted
4. find spare clothing for kids just in case
5. find trainers for children
6. find spare shoes (as per point 3)
7. Decide that if weather is NOT hurricane conditions spare clothes suggest, outside toys would be nice. Disappear into garage for 20-30 mins. Emerge with enough stuff to entertain a whole school of children. Add to already large pile of just in case items
8. Realise he is slightly behind schedule - heads to get ready
9. Narrows shirt selection down to 3 - asks long suffering missus to iron all shirts as 2 spares is reasonable for a single afternoons entertainment (please note, I am working)
10. Wanders around shirtless looking for first aid kit (just in case)
11. Notes time is getting on. Asks missus to make packed lunches quickly, as he is slightly behind schedule.
12. Take lunches, investigates. Adds further items.
13. rounds up kids and puts in car. packs very large amount of stuff into car. fannies with seat configuration in order to fit it all in.
14. re-enters house for more food. shouts bye
15. re-enters house for forgotten phone. shouts bye
16. re-enters house for spare socks and to remind missus of dogs possible needs (please note, have had dog for 13yrs without incident). shouts bye
17. drives off
18. comes back straight away. re-enters house with kids who need wee having been waiting in car for long period. leaves, shouts bye
19. drives off. rings missus 30 secs later to ask if she can tell friend he is running a bit late as he has decided to stop at waitrose for MORE food.
20. Missus cries quietly into coffee

The fanny abouter people - he is a breed apart.

I have one of those, Queenofallyousee

Days out were planned like route marches. DCs were required to attend a briefing session before we left. In case anything went wrong or someone got lost.

Food was prepared the day before but added to progressively over the course of the morning. BBC weather checked. ITV weather checked. Radio 4 weather checked.

DCs presented themselves for inspection to prove they were properly dressed for whatever occasion it was.

When everything was loaded he had to go back twice to check doors were locked and no windows open.

Imagine what it was like when we went on holiday .....

I'm a closet ditherer and procrastinator, but no one apart from DH knows.

I'm embarrassed by my dithering tendencies, so plan in advance of going places by checking the menu beforehand, memorising maps (and looking through Google Earth) and working out public transport routes/stops/times.

I leave a lot to the last minute, but hate to be late or miss a deadline, so will frequently pull all-nighters to get things I've been putting off done.

I hide it all because ditherers make me cross and is hate to inconvenience others with my indecisiveness.

Oh no, I fear I may be a "fannier abouter" myself.

If I take kids for walk, I:
check the weather, make sure kids dressed appropriately including rain jacket if wet and suncream if sunny, pack some food/snack, tissues, bottle of water, give them their hay fever meds, have to come back for my mobile phone, lose my keys and panic etc etc.

DH on the other hand takes the kids, leaves his phone and keys with me as "he won't need them" ready in 1 minute, all oblivious to the fact that DS1 is still in his PJ top, and is wearing his crocs instead of proper shoes and DS2 is not wearing any socks, just shoved on his wellies (the wrong way around) and subsequently can't walk for blisters. No snacks or drinks, and character building 2-3 hour walks where it is all "mind over matter". The boys now have a "Top 10 of horrible walks with dad" and they laugh about it.

My FIL is the world's worst ditherer, the man is TOTALLY unable to make a decision about something. If we go out somewhere, he dithers for ages, then asks DH what he's having and orders exactly the same. Drives us both mad.

I'm convinced this is why he is incapable of being single and goes from one relationship to the next within days (no joke). He has no mind of his own and just has to be told what to do by someone else.

Dithering should be illegal.

I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not so sure.

If YABU then so am I, it drives me mad when people dither in front of me. If it's indecisiveness then it winds me up, I don't mind if it's learner drivers, people with disabilities etc etc who have reason to be going slowly.

Oh, I have cried tears of laughter reading this thread! Thank you!