I left my children's father 4 and a half years ago, taking a newborn and toddler with me. I'd had 7 years of the worst kind of DV.
He visited sporadically for a few years after, but stopped once I couldn't pay his petrol costs anymore.
There's since been no contact with his children for over 2 years. No talking, Skype, birthday or Christmas cards. No response to emails or texts.
A couple of years ago I began a relationship with someone and my eldest now calls him Daddy. We don't live together.
Out of the blue, last night I received a Facebook friend request from their father. He has styled his username under this format: 'Fred jackandjill'sdaddy' then Friend Requested everyone on my Friendlist.
His profile is pictured in a home clearly not his, and he's made little comments on his own pictures saying how much he misses them, is proud of them, and that he's set up this profile in order he can contact them.
He began access proceedings against me last year but failed to appear for Mediation or respond to any solicitor actions. So I'm confused by this development.
The cynical side of me sees the profile as a ruse of some kind. Either to let everyone on my Friendlist know 'He's The Daddy' and I'm the terrible woman for taking his children away.
I wonder if the fact the are photos of my children with my new partner on my profile that has annoyed or upset him.
Or he could genuinely have had an epiphany and want to move forward civilly.
But given his past behaviour including threats a couple of years ago that he would do everything in his power to take the chidren away from me (which would include lying under oath) I'm dubious.
So. Should I accept the Friend Request and see how his game unfolds?
Or ignore the Friend Request?
If he's had the epiphany moment and now wants to be civil and resume contact with the children, will the children be confused as one of them now calls my new partner Daddy and they have both enjoyed a relationship with him for the last few years, seeing him when he stays over weekends and on daytrips and so on.
I'm concerned that by continuing to allow the children to think of my new partner as a Daddy I have failed massively to preserve their emotional welfare, as their bio father now potentially reappearing on the scene may cause them confusion. Should I now discourage them from calling him Daddy and distance the kind of relationship the children have with him??
All of this is causing me distress - something my ex is exceptionally good at.
I genuinely welcome your views.