I know I am please slap me!

[GinIceAndASlice]

Dh is getting the snip tomorrow and im feeling all sad and emotional.

We have 3 beautiful children 11 month old twins and a 3 yo.

Its been a difficult journey with iVF and fertility treatments over 9 years.

I have had 2 natural pregnancies which both ended in mc. So although we've not had to think about contraception in all that time, there is still a theoretical risk of pregnancy and due to a pulmonary embolism I can't take the pill etc

I know our family is complete. I'm 40 and have no broody feelings whatsoever.

So why the hell do I feel like crying?

Because (vasectomy reversals notwithstanding), this is such a big, final step. Quite natural to feel a bit wobbly about it, no matter how sure you are in your minds that it's the right thing to do.

Congratulations on your lovely children, and sorry to hear about the pregnancies that ended less happily.

Sorry, that wasn't what you wanted at all, was it?

now pull yourself together, woman.

Better?

Probably because it marks an absolute end to this phase of both your lives, and the end of opportunity. So YANB at all U. Be kind to yourself. Have a very un MN hug x

YANBU You're saying good bye to a part of your life and that always feels a little sad even if you know you have no desire to ever revisit it. Be kind to yourself and allow a little sadness whilst acknowledging the end of a era (sorry can't think of a better way to put it) then concentrate on all the good things in your life and look forward to the new stages of your life that have yet to come.

(Hope that doesn't sound too twee)

Are you both 100% sure this is what you want.

YANBU, and consider yourself hugged by your cyber-brother.

And be nice to DH afterwards, he will either feel sore and say so, and he won't be shamming, or he'll feel sore and not want to admit it, as is the wont of my silly gender, but he will still need your sympathy.

And your children are gorgeous. How do I know? Because all children are gorgeous!

I want to marry Andrewofogg.

YANBU OP

(Make sure OH shaves very thoroughly beforehand - 1 stray hair can cause a nasty infection)

Sorry Weathergames I fear DW might object!

Yes, OP, as the other posters have said, it is the finality of this that is upsetting you - you are deciding, in effect, to draw a line under your fertility and further childbearing. It is not at all surprising that you feel like this - we are designed to procreate, after all, and having children and bringing them up gives a huge sense of fulfilment. For the vast majority of us, it is the most significant thing we will ever do. But, for most of us, the decision to have no more babies is not so definite and clear-cut - you are having to confront it as a positive act of stopping it rather than a negative one (which would be reversed) of simply not pursuing an option.

What you need to do is turn this around and starting seeing limiting your family as a positive! Three children will get more time and attention than four or five and this will be both beneficial for them and nicer for you. With three, it's still possible to give some one-to-one attention - with your husband's help - which children thrive on whereas with four or more, it would become virtually impossible. Life is so much simpler with fewer children - even your choice of car is much more limited when you move from three to four. And we haven't even mentioned the economics of bigger families -more mouths to feed, bodies to clothe, school trips to pay for!

There is a lot to be said for smaller families - concentrate on quality rather than quantity!

Sorry, "could be reversed".

Cheers everyone.

I know our family is complete. You are right it's been such a big part of our lives trying to get/stay pregnant that it seems crazy that we are doing this.

Just told Dh how im feeling and he said we could cancel it if I wanted to...my reaction told me all I needed...Hell no! Its going ahead.

Good luck to your DH tomorrow.

DH had the snip about 3 years a go, and when AF is late I still panick about pregnancy.

After such a long time of trying for your babies it does seem illogical, but it logical that you don't want any more then the snip for you as a couple is the right thing.

best thing DH ever did no more messing with contraceptives.

Aaaarrrgggghhh!

Who knew Drs got sick? It was cancelled!

Next suitable app end of may.

Actually I am not relieved, which is telling I just want it done. DH is smiling like a Cheshire cat.

Possibly the most surprising update on a thread ever!