to decide that having friends is a bad idea

[NoFriendsChoice]

Name changed but to some on MN who might recognise me.
AIBU to decide that it is not idea to have friends and so to cut myself of from them? Not just a few friends, any friends as it always ends up going wrong as I either overshare or want too much from them which ends up causing upset for both them and me.

Maybe look to what it is you are wanting from friends

Having good friendships can be wonderful, accepting friends are not perfect you may at times not be as close

I think that not having friends is a bad idea - but only ones who bring something positive to your life . If not get rid

If you think retreating into a metaphorical cave and being completely anti-social would make your life better, go for it. However, I think you'll find you just add loneliness to your other problems.

If it helps, I don't have any friends as have walked away from them all. I honestly don't feel like I'm missing anything. I only really see other people when I am at work. It's not for everyone though,

YABU. We need friendships and an a network of relationships in our lives.

I think saying no to all friends for ever is a little extreme but it does sound like you need to sit back and assess yourself and your friendships a bit to find a balance that better world for you.

Some years ago while I was finding my way out of a period of anxiety and depression I did a bit of an assessment of myself in a bid to learn to except myself a bit more. The main thing o realised is that i was never going to be someone who has loads of friends and socialized over cups of coffee every weekend, chatting about whatever it is people chat about, and sharing my inner most feelings. I know people who do this friend stuff effortlessly, they have loads and get on with everyone. They are always out and always invited to stuff. I realised that however much I might wish this was me it just isn't and that is never going to change.

I also realised that this was OK. Popularity is not an indication of worth.

Since then I pulled back a lot from people I had tried to be friends with. I no longer see or speak to many of them and the ones I do see I do so more in a way that suits me rather then how tv tells me friendships should be. This tends to mean longish periods between seeing people but I have a much nicer time now I am not trying to be best friends with anyone.

I think maybe a better approach would be to analyse what it is about your friendships that goes wrong. What has been their part in it? What has been your part? How do the friendships make you feel (shit, obviously - but specifically...misunderstood? Jealous? Even linelier? Etc).

Then get some counselling. I'm serious. Youre a human being. You have social needs. And you deserve friends! Work out how you can make that hppen in a happier, healthier way.

Their part in it has been fine, it's me that's the dodgy end of the friendship. I love having them as friends but then I screw it up and decide to walk away, having done so I regret it. As I know I will screw it up then it is fairer all round on them if we're not friends at all.

YABU. We are social animals. I think all you will be doing is adding loneliness to your problesm, as someone said ^

Yes, I am adding loneliness but then I am lonely already. I don't see that there is any alternative because it's impossible for me to be a good friend to others so it's fairer all round if I don't have friends in the first place.

oh the drama!!! :D

They're the wrong type of people for you.