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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To ask for the money?

14 replies

cassie1051 · 19/04/2014 18:31

In October OH and I moved house then had a few appliances/furniture break. We were very stretched financially. My parents very kindly offered to buy us a new sofa to replace our broken one, and even told us to get armchairs to go with it. My dad told me to go ahead and buy it, then he'd 'settle up' with us.

We got the sofa in a sale, didn't bother with armchairs as they wouldn't fit the new place, it was below the budget I'd agreed with my parents. We put it on my OH's 0% interest credit card...that was nearly 6 months ago and the 0% period is now finishing. Am I being unreasonable to ask for the money?

When my parents first came round to see the new place (and sofa) in the Autumn they said they'd give us the money after their holiday in March. They got back from holiday 2 weeks ago, and I've seen them since and they didn't mention it. How can I subtly bring this up?

Tbh I think I've learnt my lessons about money and families. It's just got so awkward (OH doesn't like having debt on his credit card, I stupidly told him it would only be short term) and now I'm scared about bringing it up in case it causes bad feeling that I'm asking for the money. I would just pay it off myself if I could afford to!

OP posts:

BerylStreep · 19/04/2014 18:33

I would ask if they remembered their kind offer about the sofa. Ask if it would be possible to get the money for it, and offer to repay it to them.

Topaz25 · 19/04/2014 18:36

YANBU. They told you to buy the sofa and they would pay you back. If they've just been on holiday they are obviously not struggling financially. Simply let them know that you need the money for the sofa because you had to put in on a card and the 0% interest period is expiring. It might have slipped their mind, surely they don't want you to go into debt over something that was supposed to be a gift!

ADishBestEatenCold · 19/04/2014 18:36

These are your parents! It should be fine to ask them. I would simply say that you've now got to pay for the sofa and ask are they still in a position to that.

LittleprincessinGOLDrocks · 19/04/2014 18:37

Just ask them if they remember their extremely generous offer of paying for the sofa. If they say yes, just explain that the payment is now due. Keep saying how grateful you are, and how generous they are. And thank them for their help when things are so tight.

ADishBestEatenCold · 19/04/2014 18:37

to *do that.

sarahquilt · 19/04/2014 19:04

I wouldn't to be honest. I'd just take it on the chin.

Bogeyface · 19/04/2014 19:15

I have to admit that I wouldnt ask either. I would rather take the hit than risk bad feeling or embarrassment if they have changed their mind, or were annoyed if they felt I was nagging about it.

What I might do though is a nice passive aggressive mention of the CC debt "for the sofa" if a suitable conversation arises, such as if they ask if you are going on holiday or anything to do with money!

Original poster

cassie1051 · 19/04/2014 19:55

Thanks for all your suggestions!

I think the reason I'm in two minds is I don't know whether they've genuinely forgotten, or whether the whole thing about 'we'll pay you back after the holiday' was a delaying tactic and they'd hope I'd forget, as they now are thinking twice about the offer!

I'll try bringing it up in a round about way and see how it goes! A few years ago I wouldn't have been worried to bring it up. But as they've got older I've noticed a tendency to get moody and snappy over little things so I often feel like I'm walking on eggshells.

OP posts:

Topaz25 · 20/04/2014 16:32

Why take it on the chin? The OP's parents promised to buy the sofa, agreed a budget and the OP bought a sofa within that budget on the understanding they would pay her back. If they don't she will end up in debt, surely that's not what they want!

80sMum · 20/04/2014 16:37

I think you should just ask them! If they're anything like me they'll have genuinely forgotten about it. But if they were hoping that you would have forgotten, because they've changed their minds, at least if you ask them about it you'll know where you now stand.
I hope they don't renege on their promise.

diddl · 20/04/2014 16:37

They mentioned it just a couple of weeks ago to you, so I might give it a bit longer.

Worst case-you've bought your own sofa which you needed anyway!

shewhowines · 20/04/2014 16:40

Ask them if they've forgotten.

Coconutty · 20/04/2014 16:41

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ChocolateWombat · 20/04/2014 16:47

I think it would be fine to mention it. They offered you the money ages ago and have referred to it again since.
Do you think they are hard up and can't afford to give it to you, or don't want to now. My parents wouldn't make an offer like this if they didn't intend to give the money, but I don't know what yours are like.
I think it would be odd for them now to not give the money. They have probably forgotten. I think you can ask nicely for it, using the phrasing mentioned by earlier posters.

If they agree and the money isn't forthcoming still, I would simply ask them if they are able to give you the money or not, so you know what to do about the credit card debt. If it becomes a little awkward, to be honest it is down to them as they made you the offer and you simply accepted.

If they can't afford the money now, they need to tell you. Disappointing but you'll get over it.

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