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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think some people should just accept they are in the wrong when they are beeped at?

54 replies

LullabyUnderStars · 19/04/2014 16:16

Driving home when a large vehicle was indicating to turn left and therefore had blocked my view of a side road.

A car pulled out of the side road (in front of the standstill lorry so no problem there) however I could not see him and he pulled out straight in front of me and I had to slam my brakes on and I beeped him and got a load of abuse thrown back at me - shouting, sticking up the middle finger etc.

I was doing the speed limit, it was my right of way seeing as he was pulling out of a side street and the lorry had obviously obstructed his view too.

I don't think the UK is a very "horn happy" country and sometimes if you get beeped you should just accept that you were in the wrong and not hurl abuse at someone when your actions could have potentially had dangerous consequences?

OP posts:
BuzzardBird · 19/04/2014 16:20

I don't think the 'beeping' is useful, it just winds people up. The horn is meant to be used for safety reasons, not for correction.

Messygirl · 19/04/2014 16:21

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 19/04/2014 16:22

Surely, in this case, beeping was the right thing to do, for the OP to warn the other driver of her presence?

Bananapickle · 19/04/2014 16:23

Well if both of your views were blocked he hadn't seen you so hadn't meant to pull out in front of you. If you knew the lorry was blocking everyone's view maybe you should have approached the junction with more caution.
You didn't actually need to use your horn and in fact you didn't use it within the guidelines of the Highway Code.
They shouldn't have shouted abuse and you shouldn't have beeped so you were both BU.

BookWorm37 · 19/04/2014 16:28

But they need some punishment/come back for driving stupidly and dangerously! Why should they get away with making the road dangerous for safe drivers? Let's face it, it's usually done when traffic police are not present to pull them up, so why not remind them that inconsiderate driving is not acceptable?

thornrose · 19/04/2014 16:29

If I know I've made a mistake and get beeped I generally make a 'sorry' gesture.

If I'm beeped unjustly I just swear under my breath!

I've driven for nearly 30 years and could probably count the number of times I've used my horn on one hand.

Original poster
LullabyUnderStars · 19/04/2014 16:29

They shouldn't have shouted abuse and you shouldn't have beeped so you were both BU.

I beeped him to make him aware I was there, not to "tell him off".

If you knew the lorry was blocking everyone's view maybe you should have approached the junction with more caution.

Not really, I was driving down a main road, doing the speed limit and it was my right of way. If I was pulling out of a junction I would be cautious as it's not my right of way.

OP posts:
Objection · 19/04/2014 16:30

There's been two times at least that I can think of where I've been beeped and I was in the wrong.
Both times I gestured an apology so in theory YANBU.

Objection · 19/04/2014 16:31

Er... just to point out that regardless of who had right of way - everyone should be driving with caution.

ilovepowerhoop · 19/04/2014 16:34

he shouldnt have pulled out if he couldnt see that the road he was pulling into was clear, he should have waited for the lorry to turn into its road first.

LoonvanBoon · 19/04/2014 16:35

I think you were fine to beep to warn someone you were there. It sounds like a scary experience.

Too many drivers do beep to express their impatience / irritation, though - not sure I really agree that we're not a "horn happy" country.

I still remember when I was learning to drive being beeped because I missed a gap at a roundabout, even though I was in a clearly marked driving instructor's car. There's also a tricky mini roundabout near my kids' school - I do the school run on foot so hardly ever drive round it, but there are drivers beeping furiously at each other every time I walk past!

It's bloody stupid behaviour IMO that's just going to make an anxious driver more flustered.

How do you show that you accept you were in the wrong when you're driving, anyway? I really wish there was an accepted gesture to say sorry if you've cocked up.

diddl · 19/04/2014 16:35

"Not really, I was driving down a main road, doing the speed limit and it was my right of way."

But if there was a side road with blocked visability, should you have been doing the speed limit?

Does the fact that you had to slam your brakes on mean that you were going too fast?

ilovepowerhoop · 19/04/2014 16:35

was the lorry in a filter lane to the left of you then and it was turning and you were going straight ahead? The car driver should not have pulled out if he didnt know both lanes were clear

Original poster
LullabyUnderStars · 19/04/2014 16:36

Er... just to point out that regardless of who had right of way - everyone should be driving with caution

I do drive with caution. During a working day my commute is in total 2.5 hours so you learn to expect the unexpected and exercise more caution.

However if you pulling out of a junction into a road where you could not see oncoming traffic, would you really just pull straight out? Hopefully not. You could be the most cautious driver ever but with people that take risks like that it doesn't matter how cautious you are.

OP posts:
Original poster
LullabyUnderStars · 19/04/2014 16:37

was the lorry in a filter lane to the left of you then and it was turning and you were going straight ahead? The car driver should not have pulled out if he didnt know both lanes were clear

Yeah that's exactly what happened.

OP posts:
lougle · 19/04/2014 16:37

I'm struggling to picture a scenario in my mind whereby a lorry at a standstill on a main road can be indicating left, blocking the view of a side road and then a car can pull out into your path?

If the lorry is facing in the opposite direction to you, the view of the side road isn't obstructed.

If the lorry is facing in the same direction as you, then you're behind the lorry and to pass it you'd have to overtake and go into the opposite lane.

What am I missing?

Original poster
LullabyUnderStars · 19/04/2014 16:39

Does the fact that you had to slam your brakes on mean that you were going too fast?

No of course not. I think I was doing 35mph in a 40 zone.

If say for example you are driving at 30 and a person out of no where steps into the road just a meter ahead of you then chances are you are going to hit them unless you slam your brakes on.

OP posts:
lougle · 19/04/2014 16:40

X-posts. I see now.

You do know it's a limit, not a requirement, though?

If you're passing a hazardous junction (which is more likely if there is a filter lane, because the filter lane is there because of the congestion that is otherwise caused) then you should be going slower.

ilovepowerhoop · 19/04/2014 16:40

read the previous posts to see what you were missing

lougle · 19/04/2014 16:40

"I think I was doing 35mph in a 40 zone."

You said you were 'doing the limit' Hmm which was it?

ilovepowerhoop · 19/04/2014 16:41

the other car was still in the wrong though

Original poster
LullabyUnderStars · 19/04/2014 16:41

I'm struggling to picture a scenario in my mind whereby a lorry at a standstill on a main road can be indicating left, blocking the view of a side road and then a car can pull out into your path?

Shoot sorry. I meant the lorry was indicating right

OP posts:
ilovepowerhoop · 19/04/2014 16:41

you are nit picking now

Original poster
LullabyUnderStars · 19/04/2014 16:47

"I think I was doing 35mph in a 40 zone." You said you were 'doing the limit' hmm which was it?

I lied. I was actually doing 38.7mph ... geez. Does it really matter as long as I was not going over the speed limit? It would have fluctuated between 35-40mph depending on what was happening - it's a rather long straight road.

Some people are just so determine to say YABU Grin

OP posts:
funambulist · 19/04/2014 16:49

I find a lot of drivers very aggressive.

There is a tricky right hand turn onto a main road on my school run. Parking for 20 minute loading is allowed on the main road close to the side road I come out of which often restricts visibility so I need to edge out cautiously.

A couple of times, drivers behind me, who can't possibly see the on coming traffic properly, have beeped me because they think that I should pull out.

On another occasion the driver behind me actually tried to drive around my car to make the same right turn and then found that he was stuck alongside me as there was a stream of fast traffic. Didn't stop him giving me abuse though.

I hate it. I don't know if it's my imagination but the aggressive beepers and swearers tend to be men and I suspect they do it to women. My 6'1" DH doesn't seem to have the same trouble. I only ever use my horn to warn someone of my presence and it's very, very rare that I have to do that. There have been a couple of occasions where I have noticed that a car on a driveway has it's reversing lights on and if I'm too close to safely stop then I'd give a quick beep in case they haven't seen me. If I'm able to I stop to let them out though.