To be fucking furious with my friend and feel I can't trust her as much anymore?

[OhFFSWhatsWrongNow]

Last night my friend, let's call her Anna, and I went out for a few drinks. Anna and I have been friends for 7 years and we are very close. We were sitting at a table by ourselves having a really nice time, I was showing her photographs of my kids on my phone, and she was doing the same. After I'd shown her them I clicked out of them into my main menu and put my phone in my bag which was sitting under our table. I zipped my bag up after lifting some money out.

I then went up to the bar to get us some drinks and asked her to keep an eye on my bag, as we do plenty of times for each other when we go out and she said no problem. There were 2 people in front of me to be served so took around 5 or so minutes until I got our drinks.

When I returned to our table I noticed my phone was sitting on the table, lit up. I thought this was rather strange since I left it in my bag. I picked it up and swiped the screen, immediately my messages came up, and it was messages from a mutual friend of ours, Christine. These messages were very personal, Christine is having huge problems and the messages contained very detailed descriptions of these problems and how bad she is feeling etc. extremely personal stuff that she asked me not to repeat to any one.

I hadn't opened Christine's messaging history all night and that's when I realised that Anna had obviously been looking through them! I questioned her about looking through my messages, which she denied doing, and said that I left my phone on the table and not in my bag. I'm 100% adamant that I didn't, and even if I did the phone wouldn't still be lit up by the time I got back from the bar as it dims after 2 mins. She couldn't look me straight in the eye the whole time I asked her about this.

I am furious. How dare she unzip my bag and rummage through my messages. Now she knows confidential things about Christine that she asked me not to tell. I feel really bad for Christine, even though technically I didn't say anything. There were also private messages from my dh which she probably read as well, and lord knows what other messages she looked through.

I wouldn't fucking dream of liking through someone's phone' let alone unzipping their bag to get to it. I can't understand why Anna did this. I feel like I see a different side to her and can't trust her any more :(

As a note, I don't have a lock on my phone because I have a condition that makes me very forgetful, and remembering number patterns can be hard sometimes.

That could be it, maybe she sent you a text accidentally and wanted to quickly delete it before you got back.

Tali - I'm willing to be your mate knows exactly who did it, she just prefers to believe a friend would do it rather than family.
My Dad sold my brothers expensive bike when he was on holiday but claimed my uncle had stolen it. We all knew exactly what had happened ( Dad had form) but to this day my brother prefers to believe it was our uncle as to think otherwise would force him to acknowledge quite a few things he would rather not.
OFFS - if you really believe this then you can't be friends with this person

I know Hopping, I understood why she asked me the first time, but to tell my very close friend 4 weeks later she still thinks I did it, has pissed me off. Luckily my friend, who has known me 26 years but her straight on the matter.

I find this very odd, I'm not sure someone would quickly get someone's phone out of a bag, how would they know how to work it and so on and why would they not replace it.

Had you said anything about Christine's texts before? Would she have known what to look for?

I would not be sure that you did put it in your bag, it's easy to say 'I always do XYZ' but do something else as a bit tipsy/flustered on a night out.

Surely she would have tried to put it back?

I'm dubious about this, I have thought I did one thing but the evidence said another on a night out, your memory isn't entirely reliable.

Is it a smart phone?

If so, I'd be cautious about accusing her. I've had an iPhone and I now have a Samsung. With both of those, I often swipe it on and find something coming up automatically that I didn't think I'd been looking at. I think it's easy to catch a button and load something, and then not notice because the phone sleeps.

It seems like a bizarre thing for anyone to do. If they're sneaky enough to open your bag and read your text messages, why on earth would they then leave the phone on the table with the messages open?

I don't think you should be so quick not to trust her.

You don't know for 100% that you placed it in your zipped bag.

Unfortunately you have a condition that makes you forgetful, so you will have to give her the benefit of a doubt.

If you touch some phones they light up.

Ok thanks for the replies. Lesson learned, lock phone.

My iPhone lights up if someone comments/likes on one of my Facebook posts as well as if I receive a message

And it only takes a second to put it to sleep by pressing the on button briefly.

Why would you friend leave the phone lit up and open at your messages if she really was snooping?

I think this is worse than it seems, I think she denied because of your condition, so you would doubt yourself. That's truly spiteful.

Why would those messages be up if it's not what you were looking at? And why would she act ashamed?

The thing with a pass code is if you're on your phone a lot which I am, it's a pain in the arse to keep re entering it, and you shouldn't have to.

I had a friend do something similar: we were going out for the day, and my phone was in the car as it's my sat nav. While paying for petrol I saw her going through it.

If she had done what you say, why would she leave the evidence of her crime sitting on the table with the display lit up?

Surely she would have put if back in your bag so you'd be none the wiser?

Not the sharpest knife in the drawer, is she?

Horrible situation.

Trouble is you just don't know if you can trust her now.

Probably best to tell Christine ASAP, as Anna might try to persuade Christine you volunteered the information to her.

I'd be loathe to accuse my friend unless I'd actually seen her on my phone.

If she was on the phone and saw you coming back to the table, why not toss it back into the purse? That doesn't make much sense, and phones can be weird - mine lights up all the time for no reason.