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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

it was only a sandwich.....

24 replies

TruJay · 18/04/2014 20:51

In your opinion who was being unreasonable in this situation......

I was in Asda, was in the queue waiting to pay behind a lady and her daughter and they were talking about grabbing a sandwich from the fridge (fridge is against the wall parallel to the queue with those belt barrier things marking out the queue and there is an amount of walking space between fridge and queue to go down to the fitting rooms)

With a big stretch or a quick bob under the barriers you would be able to reach into the fridge and grab a sandwich.

A woman (A) came walking out of the fitting rooms, in between fridge and queue and Lady (B) in front of me said to her "oh excuse me, would you mind passing me that chicken chargrilled sandwich just there please?"

A very rudely said "You do know I don't work here don't you?!"

B, clearly taken aback said "oh....yes, I was just asking if you could kindly pass me a sandwich??"

A then tutted very loudly, picked up the sandwich and threw it quite forcefully into B's hands, carried on walking and joined the back of the queue herself.

Now I thought A was beyond rude and if she really didn't want to pass B the sandwich (I honestly can't see why you wouldn't) she could have just politely said "oh well I would rather not, sorry" or something to that effect??! But how she acted was just rude and in my eyes it was completely unnecessary.

Personally I would have just happily passed her the sandwich and carried on walking, I didn't see the issue. And I know her or her daughter could have just bobbed under the barrier to get it but just thought they would ask, very politely, the woman passing by.

What would you have done/thought??

OP posts:

ManAliveThisThingsFantastic · 18/04/2014 20:55

As long as she was fit and healthy it wouldn't kill her to pass a sandwich. But then the same could have been said for woman B and her daughter. A slightly strange situation but I would have passed the sandwich over and not given it a second thought.

FunkyBoldRibena · 18/04/2014 20:56

Just ignored them and carried on with my life.

elQuintoConyo · 18/04/2014 20:57

In lady B's shoes, I'd have thought 'lazy mare' but passed her one anyway, if lady A was nice about it.

If I was anyone else in the queue, I wouldn't have given the situation a second thought.

GiddyUpCowboy · 18/04/2014 20:59

why get worked up about it?

Original poster

TruJay · 18/04/2014 21:04

Yeh I understand it from both sides and i mentioned to husband and sister waiting in car for me and they were of different opinions, one agreed, one didn't so just wondered what others thought.
I did think the woman could have got it herself but also thought there was no need to react so harshly when the woman asked politely

OP posts:

GiddyUpCowboy · 18/04/2014 21:10

That sort of thing just wouldn't bother me, I would just get on with my day.

bouquetofpencils · 18/04/2014 21:27

I would have taken aback to be asked. I wouldn't want a stranger to ask me to do that if I am honest.

DiseasesOfTheSheep · 18/04/2014 23:49

I'm presuming the chicken was chargrilled, not the sandwich? I may be taking this too literally, and focusing on the wrong bit here though...

A rather unnecessary response to a reasonable and polite request though.

WooWooOwl · 18/04/2014 23:58

Sandwich wanting woman was cheeky to ask. She could have stopped being so lazy and got her own sandwich, other customers are not there to do favours for her when she can manage fine by herself. Sandwich passing woman should have passed the sandwich graciously or not at all, but I really don't think she should have been asked to pass a sandwich in the fist place.

AgentZigzag · 19/04/2014 00:17

Is it cheeky to ask a stranger to pass you something WooWoo?

What if someone can't reach to the top shelf?

Sandwich passing woman just sounded pissed when she thought she was being taken for 'staff'.

Did she look snotty OP? (in for a penny in for a pound (on the hoiking front) )

WooWooOwl · 19/04/2014 00:21

It is if you're perfectly capable of doing it yourself without any struggle and you're just being lazy.

coppertop · 19/04/2014 00:22

There was a recent thread on here where a woman asked a MNer in a shop to pass her an outfit. It was only afterwards that the MNer realised that the woman had thought that she worked there. Cue: several MNers telling her that she should have told the woman immediately that she didn't work in the shop.

It sounds as though Woman A was doing this too. Maybe she was a MNer?

AgentZigzag · 19/04/2014 00:29

But the sarnie passer only had to pass it over WooWoo, it wasn't as though she was up to much else

She was just had an arse on because she was Saturday shopping and had just left her DP in the pharmacy department after they'd argued about which lube they normally buy

AlpacaPicnic · 19/04/2014 00:36

If I was asked politely, then I would have been pleased to pass a sandwich.
I wouldn't have left the queue to get one, but if I were with someone else, I might have asked them, or got them to hold my shopping while I did. Did queueing lady fear she might be taken for a queue jumper?!?

If someone demanded I pass them a sandwich then I would have said no politely, or pretended not to hear/understand them...

Ooh, it's a minefield!

vikkik888 · 19/04/2014 00:43

It probably took less time for this event to happen that to type out your post!

Don't worry about it

AgentZigzag · 19/04/2014 00:44

'Ooh, it's a minefield!'

You are so right Alpaca, such underlying deep currents scare me

You miss so much hoiking if you take up funkys advice to just ignore them and carry on with your life.

Why pass up an endless stream of live entertainment while you do the routine shite in your life?

OP was even caring enough to pass it over to her DH/sister. How community spirited is that eh?

YouTheCat · 19/04/2014 00:45

I would have passed the sandwich over.

It costs nothing to be nice.

AgentZigzag · 19/04/2014 00:46

I didn't think the OP was worrying about it vikki, just thinking about the dynamics of the situation.

SuckingGin · 19/04/2014 05:24

Woman A was excessively rude.

Woman B was rather lazy.

If I had been Woman A I would have raised an eyebrow and passed the the sandwich without comment. Because at least Woman B was nice and polite when she asked, even if I would privately be wondering why on earth she or her daughter couldn't possibly get it for themselves.

If I had been Woman B I would have not been so lazy and would have got my own damn sandwich.

Both of them were being unreasonable. Woman A was more unreasonable though IMO. Because you just don't need to be that arsey over such a small thing.

JessieMcJessie · 19/04/2014 06:07

I think it's rather sad that the default stance to take in any interaction with a stranger these days seems to be suspicion, hostility and refusal to do anything unless there's something in it for you. I often used to see it in London when my chatty, sociable small-town mother would engage strangers in queues etc in conversation and they'd be short and snappy with her as if she was being very rude indeed by intruding on their private thoughts.

TheRealAmandaClarke · 19/04/2014 06:31

Was woman A wearing a green tabard? Maybe she'd been mistaken for shop staff one too many times that

I don't know what I think about woman B. but maybe she didn't want to be seen to leave the queue and have her shopping stripped from the belt. Woman A's response seems rude.

Is it truly pathetic that I would actually like to see CCTV footage of the "incident" for deeper analysis?

ShelaghTurner · 19/04/2014 08:26

Wouldn't bother me one iota to be asked. I would have passed it over, smiled and got on with my day.

Original poster

TruJay · 19/04/2014 09:20

Jessie that was my stance on it, if we cant even pass someone a bloody sandwich without getting all arsey about then surely we don't need to question why people are so rude or off in general these days.

I'm defo not worrying about it, just when it happened i knew immediately my response, i would have just passed over sandwich after being asked so politely, 5 seconds of my life, job done! But maybe I'm weird?!

Agent
she didn't look particularly snotty no.

Was once in TK Maxx with my sis and a woman once asked her where something was and my sister said she didn't know. The woman then screamed "What do u mean, u work here and u don't even know?!" it was at this point i had to step in and tell the woman that my sis was actually only 12years old and out shopping with my num and myself! At least the woman was apologetic and my sis just laughed!

OP posts:

2blackcats2 · 19/04/2014 09:32

Gosh, I've had to ask for help in asda before as I am short (5'2) and can't reach the top shelf. People have usually offered to help before I even ask!

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