AIBU to want to go to work?

[Tamlyn07]

I knew I wanted to be a vet when I was 13. It was all I wanted to be and worked hard to get into Girton and then to get my license. I invested seven years of study and spent another two years establishing my practice.

I gave birth in December and I want to go back to work...I love my job, I cant imagine not doing it.

However my husband, who has just been made an SHO said he can support my DS and me and I don't have to go back. That I can be a stay at home mum until my DS goes to reception.....and everyone friends and family think this is an amazing idea.

I feel like I am being a bad mother for choosing to go to work when I don't have to ......MM worked full time since I was 3 months and I barely saw her because she travelled a lot, but I still love her and we still spend time together and have a great relationship.

I feel like I am duty bound to be a stay at home mother.....where so many mothers have no choice to go to work....I feel like a bad mother for wanting/longing to go back to work. I have worked all my life....I was making pizzas at my uncles restaurant when I was 17 to save up money for Uni.

To be at home, to meet other non working mothers and talk about washing up detergent and do household chores and ask my DH for £20 for groceries seems like my idea of hell.....

Any advice will be welcome

Sounds like you've worked hard for the career you have. You love what you do. Go back to work! Don't just do what othe people expect you to do if I doesn't suit you, because you'll be the one that suffers in the end.

Go back to work OP! It sounds like it isn't work for you but your passion, and as someone who feels the same about what they are lucky enough to do to pay the bills, you can't fully be yourself unless you're doing it. It will make you a more whole person therefore a better mum.

I went back to work part time when DS was 6 weeks old (have my own business) and it kept me sane. Hasn't stopped me bonding or anything, we co-sleep and am still bf'ing 3 years on.

It's great that you can choose to go back or not - but I would. Work keeps me same and is a holiday of sorts from a wonderful but very demanding youngster!

I would die of boredom as a SAHM. YANBU. He is, for assuming that just because he's earning a good wage you're happy to 'just' be a wife and mother.

OP not been back once.

Those who would know think career descriptions odd.

Goady initial remarks about SAHMs.

Hmmm

SHO was a red flag for me fid

I vote you go back to work. For your child to be well, you need to be well. I was studying when my daughter was born and living off a small inheritance. I did for a while think of giving up studying to be fulltime with my baby but realised that I would just end up frustrated and bored, which would not have done my child any good at all.

I'm all in favour of SAHMs and admire their work tremendously but we are not all cut out for it.

I am of the hmmm opinion too, absolutely found the SAHM comments v goady, but couldn't not post when I saw a couple of 'why have kids and abandon them to work' stylee posts.

I did think it daft that someone would allow themselves to be told to stay at home as well.

My contribution to household income is
practically outstripped by childcare costs. I have thought a lot about this in the last couple of years, and in all honesty I work because I want to.

I would comment but I am far too busy comparing the pros and cons of various kitchen bin liners.

I suspect this was just posted to goad as posts that sneer at sahps often are. Wonder if the op will be back.

Peanut

See, I am a full time working mother and I will happily discuss the pros and cons of various bin liners - it's not just SAHMs who get to have all the fun!

In fairness, pretty much everyone within the medical field still uses the old grade terms. No one has a clue what all the FY/CT/ST etc means!

Yanbu go back to work if you want to.

I love my job and went back before 6 months every time and tbh my wage just covers childcare and travel but I love it and fulfils me in a way I am not at home with the kids.

People are all different what ever works for you and your family is best for your family .

My point is, no decision is forever

Depends.

In medicine, if you take 5 years out it is almost impossible to get back and would usually involve working unpaid for at least 6 months, which many can't afford to do. What would be the issues if you took a career break from being a vet in terms of retraining?

You were going to get my support with a YANBU . I then read your description of a SAHPARENT chatting about detergent and asking for £20 . Arse to that .
I'm one of those mums and it isn't like that at all - you haven't got a clue . Or an imagination .

That reminds me I must chase up my husband as I haven't received back the petty cash request I put in last week.