To NOT save money for my DC in their own account?

[MmmIceCream]

After a conversation with a friend, I genuinely wonder if IABU here. Obviously lots of people aren't in a position to put money aside for their DC, but I was wondering if we are alone in being in a position to save for them, but deciding not to. My reasons are as follows:

1. I want them to learn to save for things themselves when they're older, not inherit money as such until they've learnt some money management skills

1. Other costs and essential things can be met from our savings account in the meantime. If we want to give them money in the future for things like school fees and a house, this could (in theory) also come from here. We're fairly good at saving ourselves and saving in a kids' account would come at the expense of our bigger savings account

1. I'm worried that they'll be like some people I knew at uni who got their savings accounts and blew it on booze etc

My DC are 2 and a baby. The 2 year old has a tiny bit of money in an account (50 quid) as it was gifted to him, but I haven't even opened an account for my baby yet as no-one has given her money.

AIBU?

We have money in an account for Dd (2.6) and she doesn't know about it and our intention is she never will, when she reaches 4 we will open a second account and she will save in that and learn the lesson of cash flow etc.

Ideally as a sensible 17 year old it will pay for a car by then, if she isn't sensible we will just save it until she goes to Uni/gets her first place etc so we will see how she goes.

In an ideal world when she is grown up and starts working and paying rent that will be added to these savings to start her off with something we never had.

In a shit world we will have to spend it all on the bloody house!

I find it weird that parents pay for their children's driving lessons. I paid for my own bar the first 3 which were a birthday present. I had a job and took pride in being able to pay for them myself. My younger sibling has them pain for though the spoilt brat despite having a job

I had two savings accounts for daughter. One was for a car/driving lessons/insurance and an allowance for Uni. She got driving lessons for her 17th birthday and a car when she passed her test that will be insured until she is 21. She gets a set sum a month to live off as she's at Uni. The other account is for a deposit for a house. She will be aware of that when she's 21, but will only be able to use the money for a deposit when she wants to buy a house. I kept both accounts in my name. No way was I giving her x amount of cash to fritter away on shit.

Forty

That was wise! She would have, no matter how sensible she is, spent it on random crap. I was, by and large, surrounded by sensible people at uni...the spending they did made me tilt my head.

Alis

She would, without doubt, have pissed it up against the wall/bought shoes/played Santa to her pals if I hadn't kept control of it.

She's pretty sensible in some ways but not in others. She's studying to be a vet so can't have a part time job due to the hours she needs to put in. If she could be down the student union she would be lol.

I like the idea of two accounts, only one that they know about! That's a good safety net I suppose as well if anything happens to our savings as well.

I guess I'm influenced by the fact my parents didn't have any savings for me or even that much money, and when I went on my gap year after school I had to save soooo hard while working a crappy job after school and on weekends (was driven by an intense desire to see the world), and saving for that I think really got me in good habits I've maintained by and large. I wonder what habits I would have developed had I had the money for the trip already - might have still developed good habits, but I don't know.

I'd be interested to hear from anyone whose parents had savings for them and what they used them for

My parents had savings for me. I went to Uni and appreciated every penny they had saved. Likewise my driving license and car. They saved for that too. My license was the best start they could have given me along with my car. It opened doors for me to work while at Uni as I could drive to get to and from bar work. I saved the money they had saved and added to it from my bar job. By the time I left Uni I had a deposit for a flat. This was 1989 though and things have changed since then. House deposits were low and it was much easier to get on the property ladder. Not everyone at Uni blows their parents hard earned cash. I'm all for giving your kids the best start in life you can afford.

Yanbu. We started one of those government trust funds 9 years ago when our daughter was born and followed suit when her brother arrived. After thinking it through we stopped paying into it.

Reasons were we were broke at the time, we also didnt like the idea of an 18 year old being given a load of money and we were never given anything and I think are better for it.

They have about 3 grand each they can put towards a car and I hope we will be in a position one day to help them with a deposit on a property but the way prices are then maybe not.

Also, we have savings which we would use for them later in life if required but I wouldn't want any significant amount of money in their name.

We put any birthday/Easter/Christmas money into the dc acct. dd has just over £400 and ds £270 or similar (3yo and 16mo). I couldn't afford to put any in myself but I like knowing they'll at least be able to afford a car hopefully. When I turned 17 I got £2000 which paid for my first car and insurance.

The only advantage of saving in your children's names is that it's more tax efficient.
We didn't have separate accounts for our DCs and in our wills we specified that they shouldn't inherit until aged 25.
I do think that giving 18 year olds large sums of money is ill advised, as most young people of that age lack the maturity to manage wealth sensibly and are likely to have spent it all by the time they really need it, such as when buying their first home.
We kept all funds in our own names and release chunks of it to children as and when we think it appropriate.

I never had a massive bunk up when I turned 18. I've paid for everything myself - driving lessons car insurance. Didn't go to uni but if I had I'd expect to have taken the massive financial burden on myself. I won't be stashing away thousands for my children. I'll pay the mortgage off first.

I don't think your being unreasonable.
I put £5 a month in Ds's account. I have no real idea why i do this except that it feels like the kind of thing people do.
I have no doubt at all that he will spunk it on drink and drugs when he gets hold of it at 18 because that's what I would have done
I can completely understand why you choose not to.

I didn't have any savings but will save for my DC when we can afford it.

I will give it to them for something specific be it university or buying a home but that's it.

They're my family and I want them to be supported in every way I can including financially.

We've opened an account in DD's name but like you I was worried about the implications. In the end we chose a regular saving account because up to 18 it's in our control and so if we judge our kid is not mature enough to handle it we can move the money back into our savings before she turns 18, which would not be possible with an isa. I like the idea of getting her a second account when she's old enough to start to learn about money and savings to put any birthday or pocket money in to manage herself.

YANBU. Our dc (6 & 3) do have an account in their names but we have now stopped putting money into them and have another account in our name where we are saving money for them but can decide if and when and how much of it they have in the future. I wanted a separate account so that I know this is not money from that can potentially be spent on other things but is earmarked for the Dc's future.

DC will not be made aware of the account in our names as they will be brought up with the mindset that they need to save up for everything themselves as I was. However, if my DC go to uni, I would like to be able to help out with fees as I do not think its fair for youngsters to start off their adult lives in such a massive amount of debt in order to get a chance of a decent career and see it as my responsibility to fund their education (if financially possible) to give them the best start. Obviously if dc go to uni and waste their opportunity/ build up additional debt to have a wild time, then I will not be funding that or helping out with fees but assuming they are responsible, hopefully I will have saved up money to help out when they start paying back their student loans.

Dc are aware of the accounts in their name and occasionally when they have birthday money/a build- up of money in their piggy banks, I encourage them to put some in their accounts which they get excited about. They also get a v small amount of pocket money each week, linked to a reward chart and make decisions on how to spend the money or save for a few weeks (e.g for a comic) so I am already trying to help them understand money and how you have to save up for the things you really want.

It is tax efficient to save in their name.

I am saving for her school fees, uni fees and house deposit if possible. Want to know why? I can. Life with debt is miserable when you come out of uni, why start with that if we can avoid it?

Surely the problem is parents who haven't taught their children about money, budgeting and not blowing their savings on booze.

Surely the problem is parents who haven't taught their children about money, budgeting and not blowing their savings on booze.

Not always. All you can do as a parent is guide/encourage them but some 18 year olds will ignore that and blow/drink away money anyway.

We won't be saving any significant amounts of money in the DCs name purely because we have no idea what might happen over the rest of their childhood. We are financially stable at the moment and ought to remain so in theory but if one of us died or became seriously ill while the children are still in education, then we could well want access to everything saved and we would probably be unable to access money saved in the DCs names.

We take the attitude that our money should remain available to us for the best use of the family as a whole. If a disaster were to happen, it could well be that the children would benefit more from the money being available to help at the time rather than struggling through while the nest egg awaits. We both lost our fathers young so that's affected our thinking.

We also both believe that tax should never be the sole reason for making any financial decision. Getting a few extra percent on an ISA in your DCs name should be weighed against the loss of control over the money.

We save and will help the DC as we can and feel is right for them when they're older but keeping savings in our name gives us more flexibility and a better safety net against misfortune.

YANBU

We have saved for dss since I met his dad & there's quite a but built up now dss is 19 since jan & still unaware of it as he'd spend it on play station games until it was all gone!

Dd 4 years has nearly as much as him as all cash gifts are saved for her & ds 5 months also has his own account

My parents didn't have accounts for us. When I got engaged they said they'd pay for the wedding. They ended up giving us a lump sum towards a house deposit instead, and we didn't get married for years (not for financial reasons, I just didn't want the fuss!).

Knowing our track record since, I'm glad they didn't just have an account in my name as it would undoubtedly have been frittered away on crap. I only properly got the hang of managing money in my thirties.

I think YANBU at all to not have money in their names. But I also think that the most important thing you can do for kids, even more than saving for them, is to teach them to manage money themselves.

We pay into pensions for both DC but that is all that is in their name from us. Their GPs have also opened savings accounts for them and put an initial deposit in, expecting us to then contribute regularly. They aren't that happy that we aren't, but we have our own savings earmarked for DC.

What I will be doing is once DS is a bit older is buying him some individual company shares that he can then follow. My father started doing this for me when I was in my early teens and it was a great fun way to start learning about the stock market and long term investments.

I think it all depends on how you raise your child. I had a pitiful savings account from my parents due to my mum stealing from it When I inherited it, about 500pound, I saved my money and added a further 6 grand to it. It came in very useful when I had my DD as I was young so had little income and my partner at the time had a few periods of unemployment.

Not every child blows their money, some of them use it for a foundation for their 'new' adult life. I did

With regards to my DD, she has a savings account. I intend to save as much as possible for her, but the money will be given to her with conditions, and I am hoping she will be smart enough to do the right thing with it. I guess that will be the test as to how well I've raised her wrt financial aspects of life.

We do have savings accounts in the dc's names, but no longer pay into them as we are focussing on paying off our mortgage. Once we are mortgage free we will then save a decent sun each month and be in a good position to help out when needed. The savings we already have for them are not necessarily for when they are adults. I believe a childhood rich in experiences and opportunities will give the best start, so if need be, that money will be used for music lessons, residentials etc. No point in missing out in childhood but getting a car at 18 IMO.

Fwiw, my parents gave me no lump sum or savings, but gave me true absolute best support with learning and growing that they could. They saw it as their job to ensure we all had the skills to earn our own money and find our own way.