to complain about GP receptionists? So upset.

[Alpacacino]

So, 3 year old DS has had a bad cough for a while, and along with choking on his cough, started wheezing quite badly yesterday.

So this morning, after unsuccessfully ringing the surgery to get an appointment on the day, I went there to ask if there was any chance DS could be seen. The receptionist told me the doctor would phone me to discuss the matter, took my landline number and checked the mobile number.

I did not stay home all day personally, but obviously had my mobile with me. No call, no missed call. At 5, I rang the practice again to ask if the doctor was going to call (just to make sure it was not accidentally forgotten), only to be told that they had in fact called, my mobile had not worked, and no-one had answered the house phone. There was no evidence of this in my mobile call log, and no message on the house phone. DS was going to be "put on the list again".

I panicked.

I went back to the surgery, with DS, to look into the matter - did they have the wrong number after all? The number was correct, the receptionist insisted the mobile was not working. I asked her to please ring it - she did, and the call appeared in the log. I was then told to return home to await the call by the doctor on the landline.

However, by this time I was very concerned that DS would not be seen, as it was less than an hour to closing time, and worried about not receiving or missing a call. I was then told that the doctor will not see me unless he has spoken to me on the phone first, and I should better head home quick in order not to miss the call. Luckily, DH was home and thus able to take this call. I stayed in the practice (which all the while was empty apart from DS and me), then did receive a call from the doctor on the mobile phone, and then was seen by him, and told that DS had been on a list all the while of people who need to be seen in person.

The receptionist claims she did ring my mobile, and claims she did not leave a message on the house phone since there was no answer machine (it kicks in after 6 rings). I was very upset about this, and then told to "get a grip on yourself" - they even threatened to call the police! If I had not chased the matter up, trusting that the busy GP will only have time for this at the end of the day, DS would not have been seen. Luckily he was seen, as he needed antibiotics, an inhaler and steroids.

Was I unreasonable to be upset?

As Candy says, the system is not made up by the receptionists but by the practice manager. It becomes an out and out pain in the arse for all concerned when that system fails for whatever reason and people like your DS get caught in the crossfire. It sounds to me like the receptionist was indeed covering herself or a colleague, however they wouldn't have threatened to call the police just for a raised voice. I'm afraid you probably came over in a far worse light than you think you did. I would speak to the practice manager, they would be well within their rights to remove you from the lists if they found your behaviour unacceptable.
I had to call them once at our surgery and have asked people to leave the building because of their behaviour. There are twats in every job, it's just quite fashionable to call GP receptionists for various reasons.
Make the local walk in centre your second point of call if there is an issue with appointments. It saves time and all info goes to the GP the following day so treatment can be followed up.

The day that GP surgeries stop putting patients' names on electronic notice boards in 6 inch high letters that are visible from space, stop shouting patients' names across crowded waiting rooms, stop using self service check in terminals on the front desks which are overlooked by the whole queue, stop receptionists repeating the personal details of people on the phone aloud at the front desk and stop sending letters out in envelopes with identifying franks on them is the day they can refuse to leave messages on generic answering machines.

Confidentiality my arse. They don't know the meaning of the word.

Water - my mum was a GP receptionist, she was kind, empathetic and much missed by her community when she retired. I find your comment that they are 'rude wankers' very offensive!

I must say I would feel extremely wronged to be struck off the list of the surgery for complaining. The conversation did not at any point involve expletives, personal accusations, or threats of any kind. I simply got desperate at the point where it was suggested that DS could not be seen under any circumstances unless a phone call had been made before and that I should go home to receive that call. I feared that I would not get this call/miss it and DS lose any chance to be seen. I tried to point out that this was unworkable, and got really panicky. I would say I squeaked. That's when the police was mentioned.

Tell them you panicked.

You aren't writing to the receptionist, you are writing to the manager (or the doctors themselves).

If they can't understand that the mother of a very sick 3 year old can panic, then you are better off in a different practice.

Noregrets - I've been a gp receptionist, and I hope a kind one. But I've come across some wankers as well.

Up to about 8-10 years ago my GP receptionists were absolutely delightful. There was one stroppy one but nobody took any notice of her. Then two of the old GP partners retired and a couple of new ladies took over. The stroppy one was promoted and the lovely ones retired. The whole persona of the practice has changed and it is utterly vile. Only yesterday I went into a new practice to register because I've just about had enough (GP thread prompted me).

I walked in and it was extraordinary. It was like my old practice. The receptionist looked up as I walked in and said hello. I met the practice manager today to hand in some paperwork - he smiled and asked if there was any information I needed.

I totally understand why patients might shout in my "old" doctors. They are rude and need to be mindful of the fact that what goes round comes round but ultimately I think it's because the two new partners are both rather rude. One has a son at my ds's old school - I shall never forget the day she let a door close behind her on another mother with a small child. Spoke volumes and I should have changed doctors then.

When my phone has lost reception any missed calls do not show up on my call log so dont assume that she was lying or covering for anyone.
Although you were panicked for them to threaten to call the police means you may not have been as reasonable as you think you were. Just because they work in a gp surgery doesnt mean they have to take aggressive behaviour which is maybe how you came across if they were threatening the police.

So it seems that the majority of Mumsnet believes it's impossible for a receptionist to be in the wrong. They would rather make up facts in their minds to justify the receptionists threat to call the police, than take the facts they've been given at face value.

One phone not working maybe, but two is not coincidence....

And as the Ds was on the list the whole time doesn't that prove there was no phone call as of there had been he's have been removed from the list?

I would complain, they need to know how wrong the system is, and to threaten to call the police just because you got upset is not on. I know they put up with a lot of stick but the op was just really worried (for good reason - that sounds like a very sick child) and they should be able to deal with this.

Thank you for all the answers, and thank you MaRyzerection for the good advice!

By the way, I hope ds is ok?

It can be scary when they are little and sick. Mine are teenagers now and I'm very blasé about the whole thing, but there is nothing more frightening than holding a toddler who feels like a hot water bottle.

I agree they are sometimes like guard dogs, keeping you from disturbing the precious doctors.

I had one reduce me to tears when I went in one Saturday morning with an allergic reaction to ADs I'd been prescribed.

She couldn't see any obvious illness (rash all over my body but not on my face) so presumed I was making it up, she was snappy and rude about me wasting GP's time.

I left in tears. My then DH called to speak to the GP and complain, he convinced me to come back and when my name was called the receptionist rudely informed that she'd called me earlier and I wasn't there. Hope she got a bollocking at the end of surgery. Luckily my current practice is much better (well, the receptionists are, the GP not so much!)

I really feel for you OP, it's stressful enough dealing with a sick child without some jobs worth making it harder.

Thank you for asking, DS is sleeping, has had the first dose of ABs and steroids. Luckily no fever, but a very wheezy, congested chest. I hope the ABs kick in quickly. Bless his cotton socks.

That sounds just awful OP. I'd write a letter of complaint and then change practises.

The phone system is in place for a good reason. It takes time to see and examine a patient and time is finite. A surgery will get, say, 30 people a day calling to say they desperately need to be seen. It would take about ten hours to see all of them.

And in all probability about 20 of them won't need to be seen urgently or can be directed to more appropriate services like a pharmacist or the district nurse. It takes more like 2 hours to make the calls. And even more important than doctor time it means that those patients who really need to be seen are reached more promptly.

If the mobile had dropped its signal it wouldn't have shown in the call log. So it's quite possible that the receptionist was being falsely accused of lying.

I don't believe a threat would be made to phone the police without good reason. You do realize your family will now probably be removed from the GPs list?

I'm quite shocked there are people on here saying YANBU.

Working in the NHS doesn't mean you should have to put u with aggression which is unacceptable elsewhere.

aermingers, how do you explain no message being left on the home phone?

You can't assume the op was aggressive just because they threatened to phone the police.

What would you do if your child was ill, you called the gp, no-one called back for hours, and they said they wouldn't see you? Would you really say "ok, you must be busy" and go home?

I have to say I get increasingly frustrated with people who ask for a call back and their phones aren't working or they are on them or they leave the wrong number. We have voice recording so we can prove this. If I have 20 call backs to make you get one or two chances then you get left to call back yourself. We clear all morning calls by 12.30 and all afternoon ones by 6pm so there is little delay. Not saying this is what happened to you OP but this is not an uncommon problem

It's a brilliant tactic isn't it?!

Go on the defensive, then refuse to empathize or help, then bring out the threats... Once someone has threatened to call the police it's like an iron clad 'I win' statement. It ensures that no one can complain with credibility.

A good receptionist would see a mother panicking and in distress not able to get her child help. A good receptionist would be able to talk without antogonism or threats

Empathy? 'I'm so sorry the system isn't working in this case'
Reassurance? 'please don't worry, we won't let the day end without someone assessing your little boy'
Problem solving? 'right, here's what we can do'
Apology? 'I'm sorry the calls didn't reach you. That must have been upsetting'

But nooo, just go for unhelpfulness, defensive aggression, and an utter lack of caring.

This receptionist sounds awful. I too suffer from an awful receptionist at my local gp practise. Obviously not all gp receptionists are bad, but when someone is not good at their job, and works in such a crucial job, it really effects people.

I think some gp receptionists see themselves as aggressors against the enemy of those awful patients. I bet it feels like that sometimes and I'm sure it's not an easy job... But why would this receptionist make it harder for herself by being so unpleasant and unhelpful? Good people skills really help patients AND the receptionists themselves. Such a shame.

The police are for crimes, not hurt feelings or social embarrassment.

When might a receptionist call the police:
. physical threats or damage ? every time
. swearing ? if repeated / aggressive
. raised voice of frightened mum with sick DC ? no, perfectly natural
. receptionist bullying / covering her own mistake ? it happens

One of my relatives had a similar situation, they got very upset because the hospital had lost their files twice in a six month period, they also got threatened with the police for raising their voice when asking how this could have happened, and also told that if they returned to ask again where the files were (which were still lost) this would count as harassment. They had been untreated for six months due to this error and in a lot of pain. I completely believe that when under stress and having done completely the wrong thing and the patient getting upset, some staff will threaten to call the police as a way of finishing the discussion.

On the other side of the coin, I have several friends working in the NHS who have been physically assaulted, so perhaps they err on the side of caution when faced with an irate patient.

In their situation, though, as here, it was only when they went and made a fuss that the mistake was rectified, they got their files and the consultant's letter within a couple of days.

This was not well-handled.

I understand the OP was upset and frightened, a good practice will allow for a certain amount of "rattiness" because of that but I really think the threat of calling the police would not be made for simple questioning and a raised voice. There may be another side to this story.

Medical staff tolerate a huge amount of rudeness and disrespect on a day to day basis which does get to you after a while. We make a lot of calls and always ask the patient to confirm their details yet regularly find mobile numbers and other details have changed and not been updated, etc.

There really, really is no other side of the story. I was hardly allowed to make a point or put a question forward.