AIBU to ask about contact and NRP

[fifi669]

I've talked about DPs situation a lot.

He has DD and being thoroughly naive assumed when he broke up with ex he'd get 50:50 shared custody. He has then had contact blocked or dropped to ridiculously low amounts on the whim of ex ever since. Anytime he's started mediation etc ex has eventually agreed to something more reasonable..... Then taken it away again. She refuses to let DD see any of DPs family and has said DD will not be meeting our unborn child....

There are issues with her style of parenting that DP doesn't agree with but knows that as she has always been the RP and he has only been allowed 2 hours pw with DD he wouldn't stand a chance getting residence (prob couldn't prove anything either).

Anyway, posting for traffic.... Who has been/had a partner that has been NRP and gone through the court process? How long did it take and how brutal was it? DP handed the forms in today to finally get decent contact with his DD...

This might do better on step parenting.

it is worth going through the court process for a defined contact order although if the ex is determined there will be no contact, a contact order won't mean much to her. However, with determination, it can ultimately result in punishment by the courts - rare, but it does happen. In the most extreme cases, there have been judges who have ordered a change of residence. The court process is long - you are looking at a minimum of 6 - 9 months - and stressful for all concerned.

There is a need to focus on the child - not on the ex's parenting unless there is evidence that the child isn't developing properly, progressing in school or is being neglected or abused in some way. If he is concerned about abuse, then there is a need to gather evidence for court.

Wikivorce and Families Need Fathers are good sources of support and information.

Thanks, I posted on legal too. It's not really a step parent thing as it's more for DP and DD than me.

I said before about his DD3 swearing (and not tame stuff either), having alcohol at Christmas etc. DP isn't happy with it but knows there's no way he could prove it and ex isn't likely to drop herself in it!

Ex has already said she'll just move away and he won't see her again. We hope it's a bluff.

I would go through courts for contact and Cafcass. They will define set contact arrangements and judge does not rake too favourably if these are broken without good reason. Yes go to court