to be upset with Nan's neighbour's ex?

[annoyedneighbour]

A few weeks ago my Nan's neighbour was at her house when she was waiting for her children to be delivered home by their father, he was running late and she had no credit I allowed her to use mine. Ever since I get him texting me anything he needs to say to her - from what I can tell copies of everything he sends her.

Today I got a long text telling me to get involved in whatever the drama was today. I told him it is none of my business and I didn't ask to be used as a gopher or solicitor (which if he's got a problem he should be talking to his solicitor not me!)

For whatever reason (I don't know, can we leave their relationship out of this thread, please) she has asked him to pick them up later today than normal, he is having them from today until Sunday. I had a call from Nan today saying that a strange man was pacing outside and up and down her neighbour's drive. After the text message I had received I assumed it was him and rang him to tell him he was scaring my nan, his ex wasn't in and could he stop it. He demanded that I called her and found out where she was (out of the city) so he could come and get them. I spoke to her and she asked me to tell him where she would be at what time she would be back (she had already been in contact with him so was juts asking me to reinforce it).

So Nan called me a few hours later and he was still there, pacing up and down the drive, ringing the door bell (knowing his ex was out and hadn't passed him) etc. Nan was feeling quite scared by his behaviour. I text him and said that he was scaring her please stop, it'd be better for him and my nan if he went and waited in a pub or somewhere. He told me in reply to that that he thought it was his exes behaviour that was the issue. I told him that it was his behaviour that was scaring my nan and whatever was happening with his ex was none of our business so he told me that he had a court order with him! I'm afraid I lost it at that point. I told him that the police wouldn't give a flying one if he had a court order he was intimidating an old lady.

I was fuming and I'm a little worried I may make things worse for her (I know that she's having a lot of trouble with him, he's not a nice person but a total coward trying to intimidate me on the phone which I'm sure he wouldn't in person) but I am so angry he said he has a legal right to intimidate an old lady!

Why are you engaging with him at all? Just ignore the texts and block his number. If he goes onto your Nan's property she should call the police.

I only replied when I found out that he was upsetting her and she was about to ring the police, I had a feeling it was him so wanted to try and calm it down before it got to that point. I don't normally reply to him and the neighbour has told him to stop involving me in the past.

Block his number and tell the police if he's parading around outside your nans. Don't engage in conversation with him at all!

Tell your nan to close her curtains and ignore them in future. She doesn't have to look at his nonsense.

He can pace all he wants outside somebody else's house. Don't speak to him on the phone, don't text or reply to texts, don't forward messages. While he may be trying to involve you in their situation you are allowing it and you are actually helping him to do it.

Sorry OP but this is insane.

Agree, don't engage, tell your nan if she's scared she should ring the police. don't try to 'sort it' with someone this unreasonable.

Oh and by the way the police would do nothing since he wasn't directing his erm... pacing at your Nan.

Why are you texting him at all if your Nan is that bothered she should call 101, although in my opinion she is being a bit precious.

Don't pass messages between them, don't answer texts or phone calls better yet block his number.

Although to be honest I think you are enjoying the drama!

Block his number and tell your nan to cal the non emergency police number if she feels threatened by his pacing. Don't get involved with him.

Threatened by his pacing sorry terribly rude of me

He wasn't just on her drive though, he spent 5 hours on the road outside the house, pacing outside Nan's house as well. He's an intimidating looking person and she wasn't able to go out all day because she couldn't have gone out without passing him. I didn't have much to do with him I contacted him twice, then lost it when he said he had a court order that said he could intimidate people. I don't normally pass messages on, I did check on the neighbour as we get on and said that he wanted to know when he could have them, I only told him when she'd be back as she said she'd told him and he still wouldn't leave her alone.

I'm not enjoying the drama, I was stuck at home trying to deal with my own issues and getting seriously worried about what was happened, both for my nan and the neighbour. She has come from an abusive relationship and moved some distance to escape from it. I don't think he would have taken me on if I had been there but I wouldn't put it past him to have done something. I just didn't think involving the police would have been helpful.

Your Nan was feeling threatened and you though involving the authorities would have been unhelpful but going off on one at him wasn't?

I'm also pretty sure that he didn't say he a court order that said he could intimidate people. Possibly a court order for contact with his children and he was hanging about to see if/when they got home.

Either way,involving yourself is silly. And before you say you didn't involve yourself, you did. You should never have entered into discussion with him. Period.