To stupid things to people when In new social situations?

[Chocoholism]

I don't really feel I fit in too well in a mum and baby group I go to but I kept going for the sake of my DD to mingle with other babies too. My DD is 20 weeks and ive been going for 6 weeks or so, I find myself saying awkward silly things that either don't make much sense or make me sound like a nutcase. I burst out saying I would've punched someone if they upset me the way that they did the story teller of whatever it was they said. I wouldn't punch anyone ever!!
Maybe I should stop going, I find myself talking in my telephone best voice too. ( thinks of phoebe in friends meeting mikes parents)

You sound just like me! I love company but become an awkward mess.

I am much better in work situations so I suspect that the problem is the lack of control of the situation.

I used to either sit in silence or find myself to be that person who just always killed the conversation. I could chat happily about a specific topic but never felt able to comfortably move it on so once the natural end has been reached it would just stutter to a halt.

Smile lots, laugh at yourself more and try to relax.

Choco, I had a similar experience at a baby group nearly 20 years ago. There were all these mothers with babies aged 6-9 months talking about what schools they were going to send their little bundles to and then there was me with my twins, feeling awkward, and one other woman who fed her baby marshmallow flumps throughout the group and only came twice anyway.

It was hell on earth. Just having babies in common didn't give us anything to talk about as their babies were all perfect (or so you'd think from what they said) and I hadn't had more than 3 hours sleep in 6 months.

If it's any consolation - and it won't be because this is precisely the wrong thing to say - I am still having this problem now that DD has started school. She has done a term and I've yet to have a comfortable conversation with anybody but the one person I already knew. I have suggested to two other mums that they could pop in with their DCs one day over the hols but haven't heard a peep out of either yet and don't honestly expect to.

You sound fun OP, you have a sense of humour and are interested in things others have to say, just pretend you are chatting over the internet to us!

Tussocks away for the next baby group. (I am definitely getting that word into a conversation somewhere!)

Oh OP I feel for you I really do. I'm just like this.

I went to the hairdressers the other week rather than it be relaxing my dh and dc all decided they wanted to sit and wait for me in the salon.

I think it was the pressure of 4 sets of eyes on me plus the hairdresser, plus the salon had quite a few people in it but no one was talking so It was super quiet and I knew everyone was listening... well.....I just turned into a social leper.

The hair dresser said do you want a straight across fringe or a side one, my reply 'yes' I mean wtf? She asked me again I said yes again my dh then said its not a yes or no question love like I was very precious.

The shame, she then asked me loads of questions about my hair by this point the whole salon was listening to mean who was basically the weirdo in seat 4 so I just said yes to everything I think I agreed to 4 different hairstyles at once.

My dh thought it was hysterical the hairdresser looked at me like I was going to turn violent at any given point it was some embarrassing.

If your anything like me I get so anxious about saying the right thing when I meet new people I develop some sort of deranged speech. I sometimes even take people literally when they're joking and always say the wrong thing.

I am actually normal in rl honest its just new social situations that throw me.

If I were you I'd stick it out the more you talk to them the easier it will get...I have to admit though you saying you'd punch someone made me

I'm the same, I always end up looking a mess as well as sounding like one too! If I need to move my pram I bang it into everything whilst everyone else glides around beautifully. I also usually have my DS in a sling with the pram empty and then I'll get tangled up in it, then I'll get all flustered and get a sweaty face. Then I either don't shut up because I'm panicking about awkward silences or I'll try to say a sentence and somehow my words will merge together and make no sense.

Also, one time when getting my hair washed at the hairdressers a few years back, the person doing it asked how old I was, so I replied I was 22, he then said "oh, so a year older than me then" and I said "oh, so how old are you?". So embarrassing, I am bad at maths but not that bad!

But, one of the women I've met at the baby group seemed to be shocked I'd had anxiety issues in the past as she thought I seemed calm and relaxed so I think a lot of it is how we perceive ourselves to be acting and others don't notice as much as they are probably thinking the same too.

At 20 weeks your baby has no need to socialise.
Baby groups at this age are only for your sanity and to just get out of the house and do something else.

Go to different ones until you find other mothers you clink with....

I would do that hairdresser thing!

The tussock came about because I was ineptly puahing a double pushchair round a car boot sale, and the front wheel got stuck so I kept pushing it only to realise I was basically repeatedly running over the back of a middle-aged man's sandal. He turned around and I said "sorry!", then realised my tone was too breezy for an apology for assaulting someone multiple times with a buggy, so I panicked and tried to over explain by saying "I thought I'd hit a...tussock!" He looked at me like I was mad and I skulked off to feign interest in a foot spa at another stall.

Brian

I have mastered the art of talking about the weather after inadvertently blurting out my life story to many hairdressers/tattoo artists over the years.

I can relate to this. I feel incredibly awkward in most social situations. I'm either really quiet and worry people think I'm weird or rude, or talk rubbish because I'm so nervous and usually kill conversation. I do want to make friends but i think that's part of the problem, i build it in to too much of a big thing.

Oh I'm with you op. I talk absolute bollocks when I'm under pressure in social situations. Pressure of my own making. Fine at work, mind.

I do treat it as a bit of a filter though. Anyone who comes back for more is probably halfway decent!

Indians there was an entire thread on here about people shitting themselves, I yhink it may be in Classics. Sounds like one you'd enjoy.

I sometimes feel like Chandler Bing. I make misplaced attempts at humour which inevitably fail spectacularly. I then spend the next three days agonising of my social ineptitude. I'm pretty sure I am instantly forgettable and no one cares, but I do.

You seem to think that they are better than you hence your self consciousness?

But you're all new mums. Try and remember that. Your aim is not to impress, just to get adult company and keep yourself sane in the early baby days.

At my new job a member of senior staff stopped me and said she had something in her car boot for me before I could stop myself I said "it's not a dead body is it ?" She looked at me like a crazy woman and we both did an awkward laugh and I burned with embarrassment for ages. I think it was my "I carried a watermelon moment".
Anyway it wasn't a body it was a bottle of wine .

BrianButterfield that actually made me laugh so much that I couldn't read the thread.
Thank you!

I've been laughing so much at some of these! Awkwardness is funny isn't it? I remember doing jury service and I felt really anxious/nervous/awkward when the head juror was about to give our verdict i had to do everything in my power to stop myself from laughing out loud!

Well its almost 2am and due to having a short 3 hour nap on this Easter Sunday i now can't sleep so I'm reading thread after thread on AIBU and this one has made ne laugh so much!
indians and Brian brilliant!

I am reading MN in bed and laughing so much I am making the bed shake and don't want to wake dh. This has got to be a MN classic.

It's good to see I am not the only socially awkward one in some situatuons. I am self conscious about being overweight after putting on 2 stone since children. It's like having a running commentary in my head. I find I become a bit domineering and in your face to compensate. I talk over people which is ridiculously rude and just talk nonsense. I am learning to just shut my mouth.

I once referred to a baby carrier, the type that you put on your back, as a 'strap-on' when talking to a very nice but also very together and really quite posh mum acquaintance.