to not want to attend DP's friend's wedding reception

[melrose87]

DP and I have been drifting apart lately. I've felt like I've been the one organising things for months: I suggest days out, meals out, things we can do together, holidays while he puts nothing into it. I've had the last 2 weeks off work so made the decision to leave things to him to see if he bothered organising things for a change. As a result, we haven't seen each other properly in all that time. We've met up twice in 2 weeks (we live separately.) I put this down to him being tired from work.

He phoned me yesterday inviting me to his work colleague's wedding reception on Saturday night. I felt disappointed because I was hoping we could spend some time together at the weekend - maybe have a nice night in as it's the only time he's off work. When I said this, he got annoyed and said I was his plus one and he was definitely going, with or without me. I said I felt that he only wants me to come so that he can keep up the front of having a great relationship as he likes to portray to people (but lately without putting any effort in.) He then got snappy with me and sarcastic so I said I'd get back to him.

Am I being unreasonable? I don't know the couple getting married, he's spent next to no time with me in the last few weeks and this work mate isn't a good friend. He never sees him outside of work. I feel like I don't matter to him at the moment.

Other than history, is there a reason to stay with him?

Why do you need more than 3 days notice? As they're his friends and he's going anyway presumably he has the present and transport sorted. Just put on a dress and go. It's a party, not a military exercise.

Personally i wouldnt mind going to the wedding and i see it as 'time together'.
BUT ....only few days notice? For a wedding? I would think that he has someone else and she cancelled so now he invites you.

You cannot make a person to want spend nights in withyoy if he is not very much into you. You can plan and plan but it doesnt work. In fact the more you plan nights in the more you push him away ime. I have done it in previous relationship. Sorry if this is harsh.

The wedding is not the problem.

Read the baggage reclaim website. It will stop you from wasting precious time with time-wasters.

am also confused as to why working until 6pm should prevent you from seeing someone that evening ?

Unfortunately, I think he's trying to tell you that he will be reducing the time he spends with you. I imagine his plan is to fade it out until it's zero time.

You can't make him want to spend time with you so there is no point in sitting around picking holes in his arguments and questioning his past commitment.
Unfortunately, it looks like your time together has come to an end and he's already let go.

Spending all weekend with him to make up for the week makes your time and therefore you, sound like a possession. I think you might be lucky to be out of this relationship.
I know it hurts but let go. If he comes back and you still want him then you will know you can work. If he doesn't, then you are well shut of him.

Give him his wings. If he comes back to you voluntarily and makes an effort, then the relationship stands a chance. It does sound as if it is over though.

He's disengaging. Get rid of him before he makes you feel worse.