Need some advice please.
In august we-dh- and myself have been invited to a family wedding in dundee.
No problem with wedding in-laws, it's just a toxic sister-in-law, who will also be going.
Since we married 16 years ago, there has never really been a relationship with dh's sister, apparently her husband didn't want her to "mix" outside the home.
She never worked, as she "suffered with nerves"
No problem with that, had the customary birthday/Christmas cards each year, but that was about it.
Apparently she (sister-in-law1)didn't like the other sister-in-law, mother of the bride, she didn't like her father's new wife, and now, well, always she didn't like me!
So from having no relationship to speak of, 4 years ago, her father, 89, blind, cancer, had to stay with her for a couple of weeks, until a home was arranged for him, but that was when the shit hit the fan
.
She would rant and rave at me, that I should look after her father(!).
She never shouted at her brother-dh, but it was always me.
I said I would take over his care, and have him in my home even though he wasn't my father, but then she said if I did, she would have travel to see him, she hates driving.
dh said she always found it hard to "cope", but I can't see why I should be dragged into her inadequacy.
Anyway a couple of years ago, there was a family party, reluctantly I agreed to go for dh's sake, and intended to steer clear of toxic sister-in-law, which I managed to do.
But, the next day all hell broke loose, her daughter rang very angrily, that I was rude to her mother because I had ignored her, yes I had rather than become embroiled in any unpleasantness.
I agreed to speak to sister-in-law on the phone, in an attempt to keep the peace.
As soon as dh passed the phone to me, her rant began again , she is a two faced cow, wouldn't say anything to dh, still tries to be the "sweet little kid" as they were growing up..
She shouted I was disgusting for chewing gum at her fathers funeral , years ago (fucking sick bitch, I have never actually chewed gum in my life!).
I protected myself by telling her she was disgusting herself, by trying to throw an old man, virtually blind, dying of cancer out of her house, her dh was as bad.
She continued ranting that I was disgusting, until I passed the phone to dh.
Whereupon she told him she still wants to speak to dh, but never wants to "speak or see me again".
No problem with that, except for this forthcoming wedding.
I don't want to go, she will only hit off again, yet I want to support dh.
Any advice please.