To love my dc s but to equally really crave alone time in the house !

[ginorwine]

I have two teens. Love em dearly but crave time alone in the house . Does Anyone feel the same. ?
They do spend time in their rooms but I'm meaning having time totally one to potter.
I think it's fab having teens and at same time that fab ess means you don't know what you are doing from one min to the next and leads to having lite thinking or down time.

Eg y day - son- revision test at school - took him there as takes long time on bus- back - talked to dd re her bf. town . Back for ds - half hr trip - went to cafe as catch up with him is rare. Back ten min - drive dd to sleepover- in country side no bus. Today help dd pack as last min camp trip cloths needed sorting quick . Get bags from loft ,etc lunch-lift to pals with bag back home - tidy up - ds hungry and tired due to revision felt I should cook decent food for him to keep him going - ....I think the spontaneous nature of teens is like being swept up which is simultansoly exiting but unpredictable. When they were lite you planned the day or dh or y self could take them both out so the other could have a bit of time. Whilst it is exiting I don't know if I'm comming or going- I do love it but how to get a bit of mental space and is it rude to put a no entry sign on your bedroom door.i am a big softie and I know that I make self a a available when I don't want to be. For eg I feel that teens are quite vulnerable in a lot of ways and so when they want to tAlk I do : this is v often at 11 at night and I struggle but can't feel ok to say now isn't a good time as I feel they need that time . My friend sends here away if it s not a good time for her a d I admire her for it . I just know that I would then berate myself so it wd be counter productive for me to do so

Any strategies and / or does anyone feel the same!

y'know I totally get where you are coming from. love mine to bits but I admit to a certain sense of relief when I get home and have to actually unlock the door so it means they are both out I am so horrible aren't i.

I have always said that young DCs make you physically tired bet teens make you mentally tired! And throw in a DH who works nights!! This is my life! I have not had more than half hour alone in the house for more than 7 years!! Used to love putting on LOUD music and blitzing! Never mind....

I feel exactly the same way, mine are a lot younger though (a one year old and a four year old). I tend to get the feeling there is constantly someone touching me, the little one is constantly grabbing me or climbing on me. My older son is autistic and has a lot of sensory seeking behaviour so he will often headbutt me, grab my face, slap my arm or press his face on to mine over and over again.
Without the sensation seeking it is the echolalia, all his speech is echolalic and he repeats words over and over again. He likes me to repeat them so he will chant a word or phrase at me over and over again until I repeat it, as soon as I have done that then it starts again with a new word.
The little ones has the usual one year old need for a lot of attention and input so between the both of them there isn't a lot of headspace. I have taken to going for long walks with music on by myself when ever it is possible (roughly once a week at the moment). It does help and it is good exercise. Unfortunately since you have teenagers rather than younger children they may just start coming with you!

YANBU at all.
DH has taken DD to visit PILS. DS has stayed at home as he's revising. He went into school for a revision session today and it was just me and the dog - it was lovely!

YANBU. At all.Teenagers are (generally) lovely but somehow are not relaxing to be around.

I know exactly what you mean, OP. The teenage years are as intense - emotionally and practically - as the toddler ones! It's because they're both the periods of most rapid change where children need you most. But you are doing a great job, being so available and supportive to them - a sympathetic shoulder to cry on or being willing to discuss something with them to give another perspective is absolutely invaluable to teens, as is practical help like giving lifts to help them have a social life and expand their horizons.

It can be exhausting, but look at it as an investment in their future lives - you are actively helping to shape the adults they will become, and the more you put in, the better the result! You will never regret the time and effort you have put in at this stage - and, believe me, they do appreciate it even though they may not always express it!

You are on the home straight when your children are teenagers - they are preparing to flee the nest in a few short years.That, you'll find, is the really difficult bit!

That's ok then ! I thought I was you g nuts ! :) i thought others with teens tended to e as to chi ll as do their own thing as adults. Phew glad I'm normal ish ! :)

Very definitely normalish, OP!

Better thank you v much for your post - you reflected back to me some of my own views that maybe I had list track of in the daily stuff!
Have always seen teens as needing support as much As lite ones and felt that they can be under pressure as large looking folk who are emerging but still have the child in them. I think it can be good to be hands off and not helicopter arround so they can evolve but essential to be there and have home as gentle place to rest up , be supported- fed!- be themselves I alway s saw them as delicate i but never thought about it in terms of a time of change- doh moment! Of course their brains are changing . I had thought that most of the investment re values was done when they were tiny and anchored in then- so you mean that they are influenced in these years too and these years can affect the adults they become - I was more thinking give me a child of 7 and I give you a man type stuff- this is intresting ! I was just doing it as they melt my heart and I know they need nurturing but I wd like to know more.
Tell you what when you said that I was doing a good job I went from being it irritated ish to ahh that's better- I remembered my own thoughts and motivations so thankyou- feel have been given a boost - :)

I'm with you OP

I have 6 children and pg with #7. If I had no time on my own I'd go bonkers

enough said

I hear you, I have a teen, a toddler and one inbetween. I.also provide wrap around and holiday childcare
Silence is something I crave at times and I've been known to get up extra early while everyoneelse is asleep to have a brew in peace!!

ploppy

blessed silence, that's the one! I stay up late for the same reason - to clear my head of the daily noise pollution!

I'd use earplugs, but have hyper acusis and audiologist advised against them (they would provide temporary relief but would make the problem worse in the long run)