to not go with a loft company because of this?

[bodgerthebadger]

We are getting a loft conversion done. I own the house we live in and very much driving the project as well as financing it.

Contacted a well known company for a quote. Throughout I'm referred to as Ms B as that is what I introduce myself as. When the consultant turns up for our first face to face meeting he meets my partner. Mid way through our meeting, the doorbell rings and my partner gets up to answer the door. Consultant asks me how to spell my partner's name is. I thought he was making chit chat but he then whips out a client form and writes down my partner's name. I was a bit especially as I've been their only point of contact until then and I was also driving the meeting from our side. After our meeting, correspondence was then addressed to Mr and Mrs Partnersurname.

I contact another well known loft company to arrange a meeting so they can measure up to provide a quote. The surveyor I spoke to was very nice but insisted that we find a date that when my husband could attend. I said that would be tricky as he can't take days off work and we didn't want to wait a few weeks for a weekend appointment. In any case, I asked why he needed to be there. The surveyor replied something along the lines that the decision maker would be the husband so he should be there. I replied that my partner trusts my judgment enough that we can have the meeting without him if he can't make it. Also since I'm project managing, I'm the person that they really need to discuss things with. He replied: "Really? Oh. That surprises me." I asked why. He didn't have an answer.

AIBU to not proceed with these two firms simply on this basis? Otherwise, these firms do good work so should I ignore the misogynistic attitude and hope that it's confined to just the two particular individuals I met with and spoke to?

YANBU, I would write and explain why you aren't going with them either as others have suggested too.

The thing about 'the decision maker being home' is both sexist and smacks of pressure selling to me - ie they want you both there, so you'll both sign on the dotted line and minds won't be changed later. So I'd doubly avoid them.

We had an extension done recently and the builders were great - they very quickly realised I had the overall vision and DH is anally retentive about electrics (he trained in electrical engineering) so they geared the appropriate conversations to the appropriate people and everyone was happy.

No I would avoid both, I've had similar with solar panel people who wouldn't give me an appointment without 'the man of the house' being there. Like you the house is mine, I was the one that would be paying and knew what I wanted and OH doesn't give two hoots about this kind of stuff

There have been lots of theads about freadfull companies acting this way. I had a few words went apeshit with this company and some manager did phone back and apologise, but they still didnt turn up for the apponitment

I'm a bit hmm - sometimes they want both partners to be there to make a decision...
In the case of the second guy I wonder if they wanted you to sign up there and then - and maybe into some credit deal as well...if you need to talk to someone else and you have time to think you would change your mind...
I (stupidly) got some sales guy to come and talk to me about kitchens once and I couldn't get rid of him and he was telling me how I could this wonderful kitchen that should cost £25k for £12k and if I signed up to the credit deal and it would only be £200 pm - repaying something like £20k over 10 yrs -but I could overpay monthly and so pay it off quicker so it wouldn't be anything like that much . When I said I didn't need to borrow money for it and I would no way sign up with only one quote he got all aggressive - and still wouldn't bloody leave - actually I was glad DP was there (not saying anything!) cos I actually felt threatened...

No I wouldn't go with either of these. However when DH phoned up about double glazing they asked if I would be there. Apparently as both names are on the mortgage we both have to agree to work beibg done on the house.
Not sure if this is true or if they had just realizec who is the decision maker in most homes.

I agree with the rest, go with another firm, long time since we women have expected to be treated this way!

Dh and I are starting to think about replacing our car. We went to two showrooms and both the salesmen started talking to my dh rather than me, I am the only driver and the car will be in my name, so am expecting a change in attitude when they realise who will be doing the test drives

My neighbour is the opposite. He will tell the "man obout the house" to check with "the boss" before he stats a job ... especially for the finish/ decorative finish.

I think he has got caught a few times doing small jobs, and dp/DH choice of finish has not matched dp/dw, and he ended up redoing them (at customers cost of course)!!

We've had this problem AND the reverse.

The window/door salesman who refused to speak to my husband because I wasn't present lost any chance of our business as my husband thought it was so ridiculous.

Apart from the desire to hard sell with both of you present, I can't understand why companies are still so keen to lose business. There have been so many instances where we have walked away for exaclty this reason.

Well the consensus seems to be that IANBU to steer clear. What they also don't know is that I'm funding the project and the house is mine so all decisions (whilst I will discuss with OH) must definitely be referred to me.

Inertia no I'm not based in the Cheshire / N Wales area .

Once we've gone ahead and chosen a firm, I will definitely write to them to let them know why they don't have my business.

Thanks everyone who posted!