To not want to go to PIL's for holiday when they're not there?

[ShadowFall]

DH has a week off work coming up, and we had planned to go to PIL's on his week off. PIL's live too far away for us to see them regularly - we could technically go there and back in one day, but that would be a day of almost all driving and very tiring, so we always spend at least one night there when we visit.

However. DH was talking to PIL's on phone yesterday, and it turns out he's got holiday dates muddled. PIL's will be away on holiday during DH's week off (DH thought that they'd be returning from holiday a few days before his holiday started. They're actually returning a few days after DH is due back at work).

We can still go and stay at PIL's, but PILs will not be there.

I don't really want to stay at PIL's house without them there. Okay, DS1 loves the outdoorsy things near their house, but IMO, half the point of going to PIL's house is so that PILS get to see a bit of DH & DC.

I've suggested to DH that we spend at least part of the week here at home doing day trips out to local places, but DH isn't keen. He still wants to spend all week at PIL's house.

AIBU in not wanting to go on holiday to PIL's when they're not there?

A week off is too rare to do something you aren't keen on. Unless they live in a particularly lovely part of the country I don't know why DH is so keen on spending the whole week there. Did he grow up there, does he want your DCs to see his old haunts? I suppose you'd save on accommodation by not going elsewhere. He might see it as a fairly effortless way to recharge batteries. I suppose you have to wonder will this set a precedent.

However even if you are staying at their house wouldn't you still explore the area or go out occasionally?

Anyway if he doesn't see his parents very often surely you will only end up making another trip later as well? How close do you live to your parents and family?

Why does he want to spend the week there when they won't be there?

He must have a reason, maybe it's a good one?

If there is a lot of stuff to do where they live then you could see it as free holiday accommodation [mercenary] Part of feeling like you are on holiday is being somewhere other than where you normally live. If there's lots to do round there, then it's a break, isn't it?

If you're going to do day trips where you live, you may as well do day trips from another location, enjoy a different area, one you don't get to visit often. With the added bonus that you aren't there to visit relatives so you can plan the activities that suit you best, be out and about all day, come back whenever.

I loved going to PILs when they were not there but I guess it depends on how nice the area is!

With my PILs the only time I would want to visit is when they are not there

I have had friends holiday in my house whilst we have been away, I live in a tourist area and they have a holiday without us feeling like hosts and them as guests. It depends on how comfortable you feel staying and using their home and what there is around.

my parents are coming to my house when I am not there, but i live in the yorkshire dales and they are doing all the very dull stuff nobody else wants to do and they feel selfish doing when the kids are around :)

so if your in laws live in a holday destination just treat it as any other holiday cottage

PIL's do live in a more scenic area than us, so there's plenty of nice outside things to do near there.

But we live in a more populated area, so there's loads of day trip stuff we could do round here that we never get time to do normally. More nearby places suitable for rainy day trips out near us as well.

This may sound a bit silly but I think part of it is that I would feel a bit like I was intruding on PIL's space if we're staying there when they're not.

And also, something that's only just occurred to me - DH & FIL share the same hobby. I'm wondering if FIL has got some new hobby-related thingymajig that DH wants to play with....

Hmm, I have to say I only feel on holiday if I go away. Otherwise, despite plans, you end up going to the same old supermarket, doing jobs round the house and eyeing up paintwork that needs touching up.

Though I suspect the hobby thing has a lot to do with it.